My Body My Mind

Sayfty
Posted March 26, 2021 from India
My journey with my body

As a child I used to love swimming. During the summers we would often go to the club to swim. As I hit teenage years I was made to be aware of my body. I was told I must try and coverup while walking from the changing room to the pool. Because boys/men were watching. I have big thighs and have often been told to hide my “thunder thighs”. I became conscious & that 1 minute walk from the changing room to the pool became uncomfortable. I felt all eyes on me. I would walk fast and dive into the pool as quickly as I could throwing my robe to the side, hoping no one saw my thighs. I’ve been called “motu” (meaning fat) by loved ones. Why? Because I am big. I have never been a size 0 or 2 or even 4. I’ve been more of a size 8, 10 or 12. I’ve been often told (till this date) don’t wear sleeveless because I have chubby arms. Don’t wear shorts in the sweltering heat because my thighs are “fat” and it won’t look good. In fact 6 years ago while I was pregnant, a man who had not seen me in a decade told me I must “lose some weight”. When he was told I was pregnant he apologized! But yes, we, especially Indians love to comment on each others weight. The first thing we will do is comment on how much you have gained or lost. How you must get rid of your double chin or your belly! Luckily for me I have never chased sizes & weights. My goal has always been to be #healthy. And over the years I have grown to be comfortable with how I look as long as I am healthy. Last year I started taking my daughter for swimming lessons. I am in the pool with her, and I am still a size L but I walk the ramp with her with utmost confidence not caring a hoot at how I look in that swimsuit.#BodyPositivity is not something I learnt early on, but I am now. Its been work in progress. There are days when I stand in front of the mirror and dislike how I look & then days when I can’t stop complimenting myself. Days when I am mindful of what I’m eating and how much I’ve moved and others when I cave in. I am learning and choosing to love all of me as is, and be caring and kinder to my body today & everyday! #mybodymymind #bodypositive #bodyimage

This story was submitted in response to The Real Me.

Comments 6

Log in or register to post comments
Shirin Dalaki
Mar 26
Mar 26

I love your story and the picture you posted. Especially this part, " I am learning and choosing to love all of me as is, and be caring and kinder to my body today & everyday!" and this is my vision for every woman. I do not think there is anything more important than what you wrote. Thanks for sharing.

Sayfty
Mar 28
Mar 28

Thank you Shirin. Glad it resonated with you.

Nini Mappo
Mar 28
Mar 28

That's the way to go sister! By emancipating yourself from physical labels, you are also raising an emancipated young woman who is fully aware that the body is merely a tent that houses a sunny soul. And that that soul should remain sparkly no matter what people say about the body housed by it. Good on you for reclaiming your body from judgementalism and freeing your mind in one stroke! I celebrate with you.

Sayfty
Mar 28
Mar 28

Thank you I love your analogy that our bodies house our souls

Nipo
Mar 28
Mar 28

wow, more or less it sounds like my story, I am a mom now and still people just can not stop judging me for my weight. I agree that like India, in Bangladesh also we comment on people but I have stopped talking about it since when I understood how humiliating it can be. Thank you so much for writing in such a wonderful manner.
Lovely Picture.

Sayfty
Apr 07
Apr 07

Nipo, thank you for sharing. I guess discussing weight is a prominent south asian thing. Glad you took a stand against it!