VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!

Sergent Beauty
Posted November 28, 2020

Violence Against Women, 

Whenever this phrase is used, people always think it's only about inflicting physical injuries on Women or Girlchild. By my assessment, Violence Against Women also covers the areas of preferential treatment given to the male child over female. 

This may sound so strange, though, but the it's true that in most part of Africa (Nigeria) female children are still treated as less than human. 

Most parents still believe they have not gotten a child, even if they have a dozen of girls. The feelings is a Violence Against Women. 

The terms, "Olori-Ebi, Daodu, Arole" et al, are used to place a boy on top of a girl in the house, even if it is obvious that the girl in the house is performing better than the boy of the house. I say this also is violence against women. 

Where I come from, it is a waste of resources to send a girl to school with the little family resource, it would rather be expanded on the boy who is believed to carry on with the family Names. Isn't it funny? I call it "Violence Against Women". 

You may not even know that among a Major tribe in Nigeria, there are some chieftaincy Tittles that are not conferred on any man whose wife is unable to bear a BOY. I call it Violence Against Women. 

In this same community, a special type of cap is not meant to be worn by any man who has his children ALL GIRLS or doesn't have a Boy. That too is Violence Against Women. 

I am still trying to phantom the reason Boys Names are written first in school registers, in blue ink and Girls Names after, written them under the Boys, are written in Red ink. Instead of arranging all Pupils name alphabetically. I would refer to that  that too as Violence Against Women, 

Though it doesn't stop the girls from ranking 1st to 10th positions after the exams, that is the only time you would see Girls Names written before on in-between the Boys. 

When you hear names like Kolawole, Olakunle etc (Wealth in the house) in my community is only given to the Boy, because the general belief is nothing so good can come into the house through the Girls, though that same Girl may become the family bread winner, no lesson is learnt. It's Violence Against Women. 

The lady of the house goes to work, brings home the money to feed the house, pays the children's school fees, pays the house rent and pick more bills and the hubby still sees her as the cook, and washwoman in the same house he does nothing but a community loof around, and the only reward she gets is her inlaw's insult. Is another violence against women. 

This is exactly the reason I am always concerned about these future Women and their empowerment. A well equipped Girl of today grows up to a egalitarian of tomorrow. She is likely to be more stable, more independent, more informed about her rights, exercise them and get less abused.

Most of the Girls (minor) so abused in my community are "Omo-odo" (housemaids). The ages of those "Omo-odo" range from 6 to 16yeaers. They are sent to the field of life make money for the family while their male counterparts remain at home enjoying the money. If the parents of such children appreciate the gender, they will not just set them on such edge. This attitude is Violence Against Women. 

I still believe if More Girls are assisted and receive help and prevented from dropping out, when they eventually become women, they are not likely to become just wife of circumstances, but Mothers capable of RULING THEIR WORLD. 

No 

Girlchild 

Must 

Dropout (NGMD)

Olanike. 

This story was submitted in response to Sharing Solutions: Ending GBV.

Comments 6

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maeann
Nov 28, 2020
Nov 28, 2020

Welcome to World Pulse Sergent. Your story is your power.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on Violence against Women. I hear your pain. This is the social norms that need to change. Women have better expression and are not solely evident in natural strength, they too have probable.

Katrina Maria
Nov 29, 2020
Nov 29, 2020

you are right 100% a girl fall pregnant by her schoolfriend the same age same grade she has to leave the school the Boy continues with school there are so many things our Culture Traditions and the Law against the Girl child.For me, that is GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE

Adriana Greenblatt
Nov 29, 2020
Nov 29, 2020

Welcome to World Pulse Sergent, this is powerful. It is so important what you declare as violence, to name that all practices rooted in the superiority of boys over girls is VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. With the power of your voice, women will be inspired and empowered to as you say to "not to become just wife of circumstances, but Mothers capable of RULING THEIR WORLD." Yes! Keep on sharing the wisdom and power of your words!!
Cheers from Canada!

Adriana

Karen QuiƱones-Axalan
Dec 03, 2020
Dec 03, 2020

Hello, Olanike,

Welcome to World Pulse! Is this your new account?

What you write about Violence Against Women is insightful, and you are right about it! Treating a girl as "less than" in the family is invalidating her existing, and that is emotional abuse. You are a gift to your community. It may seem our culture is preventing women and girls to break through, but you have the power to change the narrative. Abuse, violence against women ends with you. It ends with us.

The generations before us couldn't do it. But together, we start to end this concept of women and girls being "less than" starts with us and right now.

Please keep on raising your voice! We stand with you.

Hawwah
Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020

Dear Sergeant Beauty,

What a powerful rendition of our lives in there.
Very well captured.
But we can change this, and we will.
I always say if our children especially Daughters will go through the same abuse we did, then our education would have been for nothing.
Keep writing.
In love and sisterhood,

Hawwah.

Hawwah
Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020

Dear Sergeant Beauty,

What a powerful rendition of our lives in there.
Very well captured.
But we can change this, and we will.
I always say if our children especially Daughters will go through the same abuse we did, then our education would have been for nothing.
Keep writing.
In love and sisterhood,

Hawwah.