A Letter To My Daughter

Dear Daughter

As your grow from being a girl to a young woman, I wonder what wisdom I can offer you.  There is so much to say about being a woman.  For the most part it feels like mostly to suffering and fighting.  Sometimes it feels like a burden, like being on the losing team.  It feels worse when you are a black woman. 

Never allow yourself to feel sorry for your gender.  Don’t allow the lies of the world to become true in your life.  You are not too weak, overly sensitive or too emotional for anything or anyone.  You are not obsessed with your looks or your weight.  You do not lack self-confidence or need constant validation to determine your self-worth.  You do not have to be at a disadvantage at school, work or in the community.  You also do not need a man to complete you.

You are a complete being.  If you do choose to be with someone, they need to understand what an honour you have bestowed upon them.  You can set your own goals and expectations in all areas of your life, then work to achieve them.  You choose so much of what happens to you.  The greatest difference between you and men is that society perceives you weaker, more vulnerable and inferior.  Your brother cannot beat you in school simply by being a man.  Neither can he work better, run a business better or have more fulfilling relationships simply by his gender.  You can achieve academic success.  You can run your own business, play sports or travel the world if you desire. 

Society will have you believe there is so much you are unable to do.  It is only because there is so much that society is not used to women doing.  You need to believe in yourself, because no one else will.  There is value within you.  Live your life to your own standards, not anyone else’s.  Make your own choices, even when you are told it is not an option.  Your strength lies in knowing you are strong, when the whole world perceives you to be weak.