Anti-Superwoman - The Importance of Rest

I woke up one morning and like many mornings before this one, I woke up tired. My eyes possibly looked rested but my internal feeling was of them being droopy with a backlog of sleep. My arms and legs seemed like chewed gum, tired, and not up to the tasks of the day. I sat on the edge of the bed and blinked with some effort. Some time passed. I finally slid off the bed and prepared to get on with the day. Like nothing was wrong. 

I have been a part of the Indian gig economy for over eight years now. I have travelled a wide range of physical and mental illnesses during this time, but I have never stopped working. I started my professional career at the age of 21, inspired largely by my need to escape my house, and since then, I have never stopped working. Since becoming a freelancer and a consultant, I have almost always had multiple work assignments on my plate. What started as a deep need to be professionally versatile has progressively deepened. I don't know how to not work and how not to pour my hopes for the world into my work. 

So, naturally, I have a wary relationship with exhaustion. I give good advice but like so many of us advisors, I fall short of following them myself! When occupied with too many thoughts, my sleep takes a beating. I forget a lunch or two. I keep staring at some shape of an electronic screen almost all the time. I keep fighting the need to read as many online articles as possible, or bookmark them for 'later'. I keep working on the assumption that my brain is made for endless giving, while being fully aware that I need to give it some compassion, too. 

This goes on for many weeks and then, boom! The exhaustion hits. Like a massive concrete wall collapsing. My body starts to slacken. My typing becomes erratic. My eyes struggle to focus. No amount of liquids that I consume seem to quench my thirst. No matter how much I stuff my face, I am left with a weird sense of deep hunger. I suddenly become aware of a dull throbbing in many points on my body. I feel...sore. My body, in short, has reached the begging stage for a reprieve. 

This is when I am forced to take a step back. And breathe. To realise that the shoulders have become tense and hard, and that my forehead is constantly creased. This is the time to drop the phone and to close the eyes, to lay down and let a deep sigh ripple through your body. 

If your body is desperate for rest, it means you rest. That's it. 

I spent a day doing this. One day spent sleeping unapologetically. One day spent eating while actually focusing on the food. One day when caffeine consumption was reduced and water consumption was increased. One day when I watched the speed of the words coming out of my mouth and slowed them down. 

By evening time, I could already feel the difference. My face seemed to clear up and I smiled! I took one more nap. I ate some. And I napped again! My body seemed to thank me with a rush of good mood and happiness. I felt...OK. 

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Exhaustion is a silent spectre all around us. Capitalist ideas of productivity have made us indifferent to its signs. Our ideas of work have come to celebrate non-stop output, no matter what the costs. The focus is on being 'superwomen' and 'superworkers'. 

Individuals like me have more control over the breaks that can be taken. But more often than not, I still refuse to take them, because pumping a day with as much work, achievement, learning, and information as possible is what I feel I woke up for! 

But it is time, beyond time, for us to acknowledge how exhausted we are. It is time for us workers - because most of us are workers, at home or outside - to demand time off, to focus on rejuvenation, to focus on mental health, to focus on enjoyment, and to focus on slowness. 

Entrepreneurs, businesses, services, families, friends groups, collectives, protesters, do-gooders - all of us need breaks. All of us will and do go through spells of exhaustion that can rip the substance out of our bodies. 

Our bodies deserve to rest. Our bodies stay with us, through thick and thin. Our bodies need breaks. We need to acknowledge the signs and slow down. 

I hope that, today, you look out for those signs of tiredness, and remember to be kinder to your body. It will be worth it!