Standing Up

My Story - Standing Up

“Marriages are made in heaven” they say. I always wondered how such a general statement was made. Every girl has a dream of falling in love one day and marrying the one she loves. But nobody prepares you for marriage and what really lies ahead.

I fell in love and got married eight years back. We met on the internet and though we were from different backgrounds, my family supported me completely. A few days into the marriage, I noticed that he did not care about me or my welfare. Seven months later, he became physically and verbally abusive. “Physical wounds are easily forgotten”, I’ve heard. At least that much is true!

What annoyed me more than anything else was his incessant lying habit to everyone around him, including me. Three years later, I discovered he was having simultaneous affairs with two of his colleagues. His guilt made him extremely abusive and on confrontation, he denied everything. He made me believe that his abusive behaviour and adultery were my fault.

The year after that, he lost his parents and I had an ectopic pregnancy. Life became meaningless and I started completely losing my peace of mind and sleep. Seven years after marriage, we finally had a baby and I thought things would change for the better. I lost my mother within a month of delivery. At this very critical and emotional juncture of not knowing whether to grieve or rejoice, his abusive behaviour heightened. I could not even mourn in peace. I was scared, helpless and was fast becoming a physical and mental wreck. With my husband constantly threatening me in front of our new born, I could take it no more and felt handicapped. As if this was not enough, he forcefully closed our joint account, threatened to make me sign divorce papers, while starting new affairs with renewed vigour. I realised if having a baby could not change him, then nothing would.

On Christmas Eve, last year, while he continued his abuse early that morning, I told him I had had enough and that was the last time he treated me like that. I walked out unaware of what the future holds but owed this much to myself and my daughter. I had to stand up for myself finally. Nobody should be subject to so much humiliation and torture.