She lives in and with regrets.
From looking for love to having him met.
The words would have fell off his lips smooth like butter.
Never mind he looked old enough to be her father.
In her mind...in his eyes... woman was she.
It's a pity...he no longer calls her "baby".
She lives in and with regrets, too much to bear.
Regrets that she can no longer choose to go or stay.
That she is as much a hostage to misguided love as she is to violence.
That he has forced her family away and at a distance.
The "Dutty Man" she once considered sexy, whose eyeball she wanted to be
She should have seen only as a father figure, close in age to her biological "Daddy".
She hides behind a smile and a flood of un-shed inner tears, holding in her fears.
Does anyone care?
Mammy, mommy, mother?
Wish I could truly say sorry...
Sorry for making you worry.
God has to take over now inno mammy
Cause its no longer just about me.
The bruises will heal, the wounds made by words will scab over.
Mortal scars are left , though, on my soul, maybe forever...and ever.
My world has closed in to just the few he allows.
I want to speak out, but I know the feel of the blows.
I have to smile.
My head..... and my heart's been hurting for quite awhile.
Fear keeps me here, as if I have grown roots.
The fear that he will one day..
Make good on his threats to shoot...
Oh God...help me now.
Wish I could warn my girlfriends on how...
How to be a little girl even when "big woman" feelings kick in.
How to see the wolf under the sheep clothing.
How to say yes I am a little girl...so stop, pause.
I refuse to be one of your..
Little Girls Lost.