I'm Improving

Being a loser feels terrible and depressing. It’s a situation where you question your self worth and compare yourself with others complaining about everything around you such as why is this happening only with me?! Why others  are more successful than me? 

You simply lose your mind and unconsciously go in a circle of repeating typical loser’s characteristics such as having self-doubt and judging yourself pessimistically. 

I used to think of myself as a perfectionist who would do things like a professional. As a result, I always set my bars highest. When it came to actually do a task I would procrastinate for the right mood to kick in so that I finish it like a pro. Can you imagine how that turns into? 

It turned into a failure for me and I ended up not finishing up my tasks on time. It continued and I gradually became a loser. I started to question my worth, I judged myself saying you are not good enough Suchi. It demotivated me more. Whenever I was about to write something I would start judging myself negatively. Oh Suchi! You’re such a bad writer, your vocabulary is not strong. You will fail in your assignment. Guess what? 

I did, I failed in my first ever writing course of undergraduate life. I never failed in any subject before.. 

Two things made me a loser.. 

My perfectionist mindset and negative self-judgement. 

My confidence dropped in such a way that I did not have the courage to pick myself up again. I continuously judged myself by comparing myself with other bright students. Their confidence would make me doubt myself and made me question why I’m like this? 

Later, I realized that the problem is not that I’m not a good writer. The problem is I judge myself and my mindset to think that I should be successful at the first attempt. I took failure very negatively. Actually, failure is a very positive term and gives you a chance to try again, correct the mistakes, and improve. 

So, my request to all the women out there that never judge yourself. Be open to failures, be open to mistakes. Learn to pick yourself up again and again and fight back to whatever challenges comes in your way. No one is perfect in this world. You only get better by correcting and improving. Even the most successful people failed many times in their only to be there where they are now. Please do not give up on yourself. 

Someday, you will be proud of yourself. 

Please, don’t be a loser. Look at me now, I’m posting my story sharing with you knowing that it will be read by women from different parts of the world but I’m opening myself to overcome my fear of judgement and help others to do the same. 

Love yourself because the world needs you. If you help yourself, you will be able to help and inspire many others like you and that is what brings pure happiness.