Nothing Really Wrong

Sunny Nash
Posted October 31, 2021 from United States

Early in my writing career, I was a staff editor at a small magazine. One day, my boss stopped me in the hallway and asked how I felt about my position. Was that a trick question, I thought? I did not say how much I really wanted a byline for my portfolio. I did not say how I thought I was passed over for writing assignments and given only proofreading chores to clean up the slop of other favored staff editors, who did occasionally get to write for bylines. I kept those things to myself because I already knew the truth would not be welcome in these quarters.

I was a demographic statistic that ticked a box on a form, a box marked ‘grateful’ to have a job anywhere in an industry among so-called colleagues, who ignored my potential contributions in favor of low-standard status quo. But none of that really mattered to me anymore. I had a secret moonlit counterpunch up my sleeve, ready to knockout any doubt about who I was, who I am and who I will become.

So, I said, “Nothing is really wrong.”

 “I didn’t think so,” my boss replied, strutting away confidently.

Watching her strut down the hallway shrouded in homemade snobbery, it all hit me like a ton of soiled bed linen and musty pillows! She had to prevent my star from shining. To her, I represented the competition to her next promotion by her own male boss. Oh, yes! My little boss lady was scared to death of my taking over her position, a position I thought beneath any female dog, knowing all about what she had done to land herself in that broken-down bunk, in the first place, and to keep wallowing there. Seeing her disappear down the hallway, revealed to me at that moment I had nothing to fear from her at all. In fact, I had nothing to fear from anyone! No one can hold me back, except me, as long as I use my vertical, rather than horizontal, strategies to fulfill my intellectual and professional aspirations.

Below is a portion of my toolbox, comprised of self-constructed, unscientifically-tested doohickeys, donkey-rigged doodads, widgets, thingamajigs, and my mammy-made wardrobe suggestions, which all work for me and could, perhaps with your personal modifications, help you toward your independent standard of best practices in life.

  • Learn everything the system offers
  • Embrace all knowledge
  • Understand and use new concepts
  • Seek advantages in technology
  • Seize opportunities to be innovative
  • Stay ahead of the pack
  • Abandon trends before they become untrendy
  • Do not be afraid to compete
  • Avoid the passé
  • Study the past to conquer the future
  • Good looks do count, but do not use them
  • Dress cheap from the “Children’s Place”
  • Wear comfortable shoes, boots are preferable
  • Eat to live, do not live to eat
  • Greed is not attractive
  • Value humanity
  • Appreciate the planet
  • Do your best 
  • Any other stuff…

Take it from me, whomever we allow to define who we are controls whoever we become. I decided the day of my little boss lady’s question that I would take ownership of me; throw away the key; break the mold; and any other worn-out cliché that can be applied to my situation. Let no one crack my head open ever again and pour in their poison about who I am and what I can do.

This life belongs to me! I, alone, own it!

The night following my little boss lady’s question, I went home and wrote the song, “Nothing Really Wrong,” not limited to the position I held in that organization, but including the total person I could become. It was my decision to spend my time and money on education, training, traveling, learning and creating what would benefit me and, quite possibly, humankind. When I had finished the song, I felt free for the first time and it didn't matter that my little boss lady dismissed me as her inferior because I knew the truth that she was yet to learn. 

Staring down at my letter of resignation on her desk, she was shocked as she asked, "Who will hire a black writer in this town? There are no black magazines here!"

I said, "That's not a problem you have to ponder."

I laid the key to my cubicle on her desk atop my letter of resignation, and left her office, quietly closing the door behind me. I knew which way I was headed and never looked down again. This song, "Nothing Really Wrong," helped me change the direction of my life. I think it may help you change yours.

This story was submitted in response to Healing through Art.

Comments 13

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megsmueller
Nov 01
Nov 01

Hi Sunny
I looooooooooooooove your story! This is amazing. You made that decision and you never looked back. I'm pretty sure boss lady was made at herself for asking that question. Thank you for the toolkit-it comes in handy for such a time as this. Please let us listen to your song, we would love to hear it.
All the best to you!

Sunny Nash
Nov 01
Nov 01

Thank you so much! I thought the song was part of the package. Here is the link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-440655113/nothing-really-wrong
Thanks again. I really appreciate hearing from you!

Anna Dylewska
Nov 01
Nov 01

Hi Sunny and thanks so much for sharing your story! Powerful stuff Lady!
It is unbelievable to me how many women still compete instead of supporting each other to grow together! We could gain so much more...
and still stay humble on the way :-)
Take care!

Sunny Nash
Nov 01
Nov 01

Thanks, Anna!
You are so right. I just learned that the song did not load with the story. Thought you might like to hear it. Here's the link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-440655113/nothing-really-wrong
Thanks again!

Anna Dylewska
Nov 02
Nov 02

Thank you Sunny, lovely song - thanks for sharing

Sunny Nash
Nov 02
Nov 02

Thank you, Anna!
I am really glad you like my song.

Grace Iliya
Nov 15
Nov 15

Hi Sunny,
Beautiful story with a super woman decisions and actions. Love your wardrobe suggestions putting them I am copy pasting them already, Thank you for sharing your story.
Much Love

Sunny Nash
Nov 15
Nov 15

Thank you, Ceegrah!
I am so happy you appreciated my story and my wardrobe suggestions. I believe in unpretentious comfort, frugality, and working hard NOT to use anything to promote my skills but my skills. I wrote a song to express how I felt about the situation surrounding my story. In case you missed that post, here is the link to my song, Nothing Really Wrong:
https://soundcloud.com/user-440655113/nothing-really-wrong
Thank you again and again,
Sunny

Grace Iliya
Nov 15
Nov 15

Wow! The song is soft and strong. Did you also sing it.

Sunny Nash
Nov 15
Nov 15

Thank you! Yes, I performed the song, as well.

Grace Iliya
Nov 16
Nov 16

I enjoyed every bit of it, maybe you should think about writing more songs, its quiet soothing

Sunny Nash
Nov 16
Nov 16

Thank you, Ceegrah,
I do have a small catalogue of original songs that I am planning to release as I did "Nothing Really Wrong." Most of the songs I wrote in response to personal situations. I will write background stories to post with the songs for a richer listening experience. Thank you so much for your inspiring ideas.

Grace Iliya
Nov 18
Nov 18

Great, looking forward to it