Violence -Via HER Lens

Sushmita Das
Posted December 15, 2020 from India
Love Heals not Hurts
Love Heals not Hurts: When love hurts, Leave the Love because love never hurts rather it always heals. (1/1)

VIOLENCE- See this term VIA her LENS.


In our day-to-day  life, we often come across the term "violence". lMany of us have surely been a victim of it at some point in our lives. 

Violence doesn't have necessarily meant to be in a physical form.

Apparently, violence has not just the face of physical abuse only, rather it is masked behind many forms of abuse.

Facts and figures

Global estimates published by WHO indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.

Most of this violence is intimate partner violence. Worldwide, almost one third (30%) of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of physical and/or sexual violence by their intimate partner in their lifetime.


People think that physical abuse is the only form of violence that exists around us.

Fortunately, "we women" do not fall in the segment of those people who are not aware of violence other than the physical one. 


Today I'm going to tell you about the "Emotional Violence and its impact that becomes the cause of physical violence"


Well, violence can arise from anywhere. It can be from the in-laws of the woman, the partner of the woman, or anyone coliving with her.

But in the majority of cases, it's the intimate partner of the woman who inflicted the violence.

Physical violence has its roots ingrained in the emotional ones. Once you let yourself get emotionally tortured by your partner, he surely gets a take on to make you suffer from physical abuse.

  • His first shout is the first sign of violence.
  • His first anger is the first sign of violence
  • His first agitation is the first sign of violence
  • His first roar is the first sign of violence

Ostensibly, he did not raise his hands or any other thing to hurt you physically, but his shout, his roar, his anger, and agitation are a few of the implications that a woman must not ignore, if she wants to protect her dignity and esteem.

Once you let him cross his boundary, you eventually are letting him enter your boundaries and hurt your dignity and identity.

 God has created women to nurture the world but when the world tries to threaten her, she must act to retaliate against such actions.

Two years ago, I met a woman who told me how her emotional abuse from her partner turned into physical abuse.

She was in a relationship with this man for five years. 

She said most relationships go through a honeymoon phase which lasts for a short period of time. Wherein, things are perfectly perfect and let you feel that heaven has itself come down to the earth.

A similar thing happened to her as well. She was spending a good bond with her partner whom she considered being the only prince charming of her life. The irreplaceable man of her life. But, she was unaware of the fact that after every sunny day there has to be a dark night for the sun to take the path of the other side.

Yes! The rosy days were over. Conflicts and clashes kept them apart. He used to shout and roar at her but she hid all his anger and agitation beneath her tears and wiped them off with a little bit of fear. The fear of losing him forever.

She considered it to be her love for him but it consequently started becoming the slow poison that gradually killed her inner strength and resilience.

She was oblivious to the fact that she is entrapped in a vicious cycle of emotional violence.

She was a wise and witty woman whom I have ever come across in my life. I never thought she could let herself afflicted with such emotional violence that was not visible but it was there, whose scars were imprinted on her mind.


"It was the last stage of her tolerance when HE directed a pillow at her face, out of anger and rage.

This was the point when she decided to walk out of that relation which is not based on respect and faith.

It was a little late, yet she managed to change her fate.

Scars of mind cannot be seen by naked eyes but they can be felt with a heart that is wide and filled with empathy and compassion"!


Every time, it need not have to be a material, or a hand of your partner to inflict hurt or violence on you.

Even a simple pillow thrown at you out of anger is a sufficient indicator to sensitize you of the violence which has entered into your life and now is the time that you must raise your guards and take a bold decision to move away from such partners.



Comments 4

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Busayo Obisakin
Dec 15, 2020
Dec 15, 2020

Dear Sushmita,
This is a great piece about emotional violence which is always overlooked in most society. Your write up is really an eye opener on the topic.
Thank you!
Dec 15, 2020
Dec 15, 2020

Dear Sushmita,
My elder relatives, male and female, always taught me when I was growing up..."if he hits you once, he will hit you again". No matter what he uses to hit. He can use his body, his mind, his words, an object, his lack, anything that causes pain and upset towards a woman is abuse and a violation. Too many women over process this account. It is clear, distinct and direct. If it happened, it is the truth. Unfortunately the over processing creates allowances, forgiveness, forgetfulness and a continued cycle of abuse. The opportunities are always present. And the cycle must end. Thank you for sharing this post.

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 15, 2020
Dec 15, 2020

Hello, dear Sushmita,

Yes! Thank you for speaking up about emotional abuse. That is actually the first sign even before the physical attack comes. I happened to share the same topic on my YouTube video:

It's not perfectly edited though because I was hoping to upload it on December 10, the last day of the 16 days campaign. But the message of extreme jealousy, manipulation, control, gaslighting, and so on is there as red flags. I wish women can leave abusive relationships as your brave friend did.

Thank you for writing this piece!

Paulina Nayra
Dec 17, 2020
Dec 17, 2020

Dear Sushmita,
Violence is violence no matter what form it takes. Unfortunately, many women chose to bear emotional abuse, forgive and forget about it without them knowing that the abuse is going to repeat. We have to keep on educating women and girls about this.
Thanks for focusing on this form of abuse which is taken for granted by many.