Perhaps she didn't know...

SUZAN
Posted September 30, 2021 from Nigeria
Source: Laura Adai photo ( A beauty who has more to live for.)
Source: Laura Adai photo A beauty who has more to live for.

This piece is dedicated to all the women and people who have given up on life because they are overwhelmed, beaten, and broken. Each line is an indication of how cold death is and fruitful life can be. As awareness for suicide prevention and to the loved ones lost to the hurtful choice of suicide, I dedicate this with love. There is more to live for. If only she knew how precious she is and how the world needs her, death would never be her choice. Sisters, let's be the hope and help of the silent and depressed today. 

As pale as the snow,

She was dumbfounded,

The clanging of metal did nothing to alert her.

 

Perhaps she didn't know...

Her writing hand dripping with thick redness laid on the cold mirroring tiles of such masterpiece,

As if, between life and death; her hand became the obstruct,

Between the in and out of a pulley.

 

If only she knew...

That her modern receiver had a call coming,

A long-awaited call from a mother she thought had forsaken her.

 

If only she knew...

Her companion to join in pulley ride,

Would be her ticket to financial freedom,

Her sigh of joy, after years of marauding the streets of gold,

Seeking bread for her belly.

 

As her veins ebbed torrents of blood on the cold floor,

Her eyes pierced straight ahead,

At the minions of humans in numbers,

Rushing, rancorous and raging,

At a scene so gruesome,

At a beauty fading away.

 

Perhaps she didn't know...

Perhaps she did,

Was she impatient like a restless dog in heat?

Did she get tired too quickly?

Thinking the only way out was…

A journey to breathlessness?

As her alter ego looked down

Upon the lifeless frame caked in pure red liquid,

She sees the astonishment of life,

It all suddenly clicks!

 

The calls she ached for,

The relevance she toiled in pain to attain,

A love she thought was lost,

Everything was always there, waiting for the 11th hour to strike!

In the smoke of her fading shadow,

It's all clear; she feels the sting.

Oh death, there lies your sting.

 

Perhaps, if she had tarried just a little longer,

Perhaps, if she didn't let it all get in the way.

The hurtful blame and anger,

The very demons that destroyed her destiny till she demised.

 

She had more to live for,

There was more worth waiting for.

 

To lift the spirits of many on this path, a sister, Rachel Ouellette, has given me An amazing piece called Dream Again by Matthew West.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXDsFtODgqM  

Listen, be lifted make the right choice. 

This piece is written in response to HEALING THROUGH ART.

This story was submitted in response to Healing through Art.

Comments 26

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Cynthia B
Sep 30
Sep 30

Suzan, what a beautiful and heartbreaking piece. Thank you so much for your words and for sharing

SUZAN
Sep 30
Sep 30

Thank you so much for reading it Cynthia, and connecting to the message.

Olanike Adesanya
Sep 30
Sep 30

Hunmmm...
Let her be patient too,
But that was only if she knew, like it read.

A lots more to live for.

So full of emotions.

I love it.

SUZAN
Sep 30
Sep 30

Thanks Olanike, people who commit suicide don't know how valuable they are. If they knew, they won't allow themselves end it all.

Tesleemah
Oct 01
Oct 01

Wow! Thanks for this write-up.
It really passed a lot of message .

SUZAN
Oct 01
Oct 01

Thank you so much Tesleemah, we need to love more; there are a lot of unhappy people out there. It's time we start being conscious.

Rachel Ouellette
Oct 01
Oct 01

Suzan, I am so sorry for your heartbreak that led to your beautiful piece. My daughter struggled with suicidal thoughts throughout her high school years. 3 years ago she decided that if by August 5th, if she hadn't found a reason to live, that would become her suicide date. She DID find her reason for living, partially by planning an activity at first just two days away, then a week away, then a month. The other thing that changed for her was replacing her suicidal thoughts with reasons to live, hope, and dream. Now she celebrates August 5th as her Life Day, the day she chose to change her path and embrace all life had to offer her. I hope my daughter's example above will give other hope and know there is so much to live for even in the midst of struggle, pain, and depression.

SUZAN
Oct 01
Oct 01

Hello Rachel, thank you for reading this and your kind words. Your daughter is a miracle to humanity. Her story is what I was trying to express in the poem. Life has so much to offer, and her choosing life means she is a great woman with the potential to change the lives of many who struggle to choose between life and death. Thank you for sharing your story; thank God for the life of your amazing daughter.

Rachel Ouellette
Oct 01
Oct 01

Thank you too for your kind words about my daughter. I will pass them on to her!

SUZAN
Oct 01
Oct 01

You are welcome, and please extend my love. Your daughter is an inspiration to many young girls today.

Rachel Ouellette
Oct 01
Oct 01

There's a song called Dream Again by Matthew West that really speaks to me about learning to dream again after experiencing any of life's devastations. I've attached the YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXDsFtODgqM

SUZAN
Oct 01
Oct 01

Thank you, and I think I will attach this to my poem as an inspiration also. I appreciate this, Rachel.

Rachel Ouellette
Oct 01
Oct 01

My pleasure. May you be blessed in your creative endeavors and impact many around the world!

SUZAN
Oct 01
Oct 01

Amen. Thank you so much for your prayers. I will never stop speaking out for the voiceless. Thanks again Rachel.

Queen Dorcas
Oct 01
Oct 01

Waw Suzan
This is soul piercing... A beautiful piece, thanks for that. This could uplift and give hope to many which I'm among. Looking forward to see more.
Love
Dorcas

SUZAN
Oct 01
Oct 01

Hi Dorcas, I am so glad to hear it inspired you. I long to make more people appreciate life through my voice. Thank you for reading this.

Elizabeth Francis
Oct 01
Oct 01

Wow what a powerful piece, do well written, so profound.
Truly speaks volumes, giving up isn't an option
The light is always at the darkest end of the tunnel
Well done my sister, love and light

SUZAN
Oct 01
Oct 01

Love and light to you, Elizabeth. Thank you for reading and understanding that tunnels are dark so people can appreciate the brightness at the end. If only they understood.

Stacie Dickson
Oct 01
Oct 01

This was very beautiful and healing. Your words are so profound and deep. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us.

SUZAN
Oct 01
Oct 01

Hi Stacie, thank you so much for taking time to read and connect to the message. I appreciate it.

Jefiter Mang
Oct 02
Oct 02

Deep.
If only she she knew.

Many know and ignore. But did she really know?

SUZAN
Oct 03
Oct 03

Hi Jefiter, thank you so much for reading this. No one will ever know if she did or didn't know. All we know is, she had all the stars aligned in the right places. She only needed to be a little more patient to see it. If only...

megsmueller
Oct 03
Oct 03

Dear Suzan

This is deep and powerful! The event is indeed heartbreaking. Thank you for climbing into our hearts and for delivering these words of hope.

SUZAN
Oct 03
Oct 03

Thank you so much for reading this, Meg. Life presents many situations as hopeless, but I believe that nothing in life happens by chance. It is all orchestrated by the grandmaster, God Almighty. Many may or may not believe in him, but he doesn't allow things to happen if there won't be joy ahead. We only need to look at the bigger picture. There is always something precious to learn from painful experiences.

Tamarack Verrall
Oct 03
Oct 03

Dear Suzan,
It takes courage to bring forward the risk of suicide by women who are holding on to a slight thread of what is worth staying alive for. These beautiful responses show how important your message is. May we all stay safe as we work for the world we know is possible, a world in which each of us is valued and knows our value.

SUZAN
Oct 03
Oct 03

Hi Tam, thank you for reading this and understanding how important this message is for me and the world. I pray we learn to love and care more.