If She Had Known Better

Swanta
Posted February 17, 2017 from Nigeria

When I was 10, my aunt who was living with my family at that time called me to the living roomsee 'something'. I had never seen such a thing before, it was a nakedwoman touching herself, it was a pornographic video. Ofcourse you wouldn't say she hated me, but I'm sure she wouldn't have done what she didif she had known better. We had series of adults who came to live with us while I was growing up, each of them with their different personalities. Thank God none of them abused me. But then their lifestyle gave me an idea of what being 'grown up' was about. I looked forward to being a grown up cos I understood I could drink, sneak out of the house and do what I watched on that video, and so I started to lie about my age. Thank God for the strict matron we had in my boarding school!I didn't dare to have sex because I was scared she'd find out I was no longer a virgin.

Having family around is a good thing, but not at the expense of your kids. If you read my last post you'd know by now that my mother and I didn't have the whole mother daughter bonding thing while I was growing up so I pretty much learned everything I know on the job(growing up) through trial and error. I learned to start covering my body when a concerned family friend saw me playing bare chested with already protruding breastsand she asked me if my mom didn't tell me. So I got the girl talk that day from a 'family friend'. Oh well. I don't hate my mom, don't get me wrong. I only wish she knew better.

Mothers shouldn't shy away from talking to their own children. If you're leaving your kids with sitters or care givers, know exactly what they're up to. I'm not saying you should be paranoid or distrustful, just careful. Talk to your kids! Talk! Whether it's an uncomfortable subject or not. Don't let your kids learn on their own. Even animals cater for their little ones for a while before leaving them to be on their own. Those precious little beings need all the time you can spare. If you brought them into this world, then they deserve your attention and care. They deserve to be listened to.I know you could be busy with work and all what not, but make them talk. Don't hush them up or assume what they say is unimportant. Just listen, be there.

Comments 6

Log in or register to post comments
jlanghus
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017

Hi Swanta. Good/sage advice there. I'm glad to hear you hadn't been abused.

Swanta
Feb 18, 2017
Feb 18, 2017

Thank you Jlanghus. I'm also happy and very grateful.

jlanghus
Feb 19, 2017
Feb 19, 2017

You're welcome:) Have a great day.

Olanike
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017

Dearest Swanta,

Your very first post in your journal titled 'Be a mother and NOT a monster' made me cry and I must tell you that this particular piece made me shiver at the thought of how vulnerable kids are when they are not given the care and support they deserve. Thank you for reminding every parent and guardian to pay closer attention to their children/wards. Like jlanghus, I am glad to know that you escaped abuse.

Love you loads, strong amazing angel.

Olanike

Swanta
Feb 18, 2017
Feb 18, 2017

Thank you my amazing mentor. Thank you so much for introducing me to this beautiful platform. I remain immeasurably grateful for the day I met you. God Almighty bless you endlessly and love you too. 

Swanta. 

Feb 18, 2017
Feb 18, 2017
This comment has been removed by the commenter or a moderator.