Good evening sisters.
Just to let you know that you are not alone- The past no longer controls me.I confronted it and dealt with it ..I am Okay
When you experience childhood trauma, your life and your soul are altered forever. Those who suffer loss, abuse, or neglect early on in life can often suffer from serious psychological and emotional disorders for decades to come, changing who they are and destroying their ability to foster caring and nurturing relationships even decades after the traumatic event.
Childhood trauma holds us back and bricks up our potential in truly unimaginable ways. When our hearts are damaged at such critical developmental stages, it makes it easy to put up walls and harder to find the healing that we need.
Healing the harms and injuries of our childhood is one the hardest things we can do, but we must create the life we want. If you want to get over the past, you have to start by facing it — bravely and one step at a time.
The effects of unresolved trauma can be devastating. It can affect our habits and outlook on life, leading to addictions and poor decision-making. It can take a toll on our family life and interpersonal relationships. It can trigger real physical pain, symptoms, and disease. And it can lead to a range of self-destructive behaviors.
I had to forgive them, I made no excuses for their behavior. As a child, I only feared the adults. There were no hugs and kisses. There were a lot of tears, beatings every day, I could forget, but the sexual violation at the tender age of five to seven, then at the age of twelve, being beaten mercilessly, sexually assaulted, and left for dead by the seaside stayed in the memory. I pushed it aside for a long time, without telling a soul about what had happened. I lost interest in my education and feared the worst of my future with these adults around me. I continued to put on a mask. The outside world didn't see my tears or know of my pain.
God was my only salvation. I questioned God and numerous times tied to commit suicide, but somehow I was found, and that too got a beating of my life trying to take my own life. It was so hard, trying to understand what was being done to me as a child.
The happy times were far and few in those days. They were adults and I was small, helpless, and didn't have the strength to fight back. I wanted nothing more in life than to get a hug and a kiss but those were hard to come by. I have to live and let go of those dark days or allow them to torment me for the rest of my life. Children are precious and are angels who didn't ask to be here, we created them, so we should always love and protect them. Give hugs and kisses freely.
As children, we want our parents to love us and take care of us. When our parents don't do this, we try to become the kind of child we think they'll love. Burying feelings that might get in the way of us getting our needs met, we create a false self—the person we present to the world.
When we bury our emotions, we lose touch with who we really are, because our feelings are an integral part of us. We live our lives terrified that we'll no longer be cared for, loved, or accepted if we let the mask drop.
What we think and believe about ourselves drives our self talk The way we talk to ourselves can empower or disempower us. Negative self-talk disempowers us and makes us feel like we have no control over our lives — like victims. We may have been victimized as children, but we don't have to remain victims as adults.
Even in circumstances where we think we don't have a choice, we always have a choice, even if it's just the power to choose how we think about our life. We have little to no control over our environments and our lives when we're children, but we're not children anymore. We are likely more capable of changing our situation than we believe.
Instead of thinking of ourselves as victims, we can think of ourselves as survivors. The next time you feel trapped and choice-less, remind yourself that you're more capable and in control than you think.
When we bury our feelings, we bury who we are. Because of childhood emotional trauma, we may have learned to hide parts of ourselves. At the time, that may have helped us. But as adults, we need our feelings to tell us who we are and what we want, and to guide us toward becoming the people we want to be