My dad played the role of a mother in my child hood.

Tecenta Achiri
Posted November 7, 2018 from Cameroon
My secondary school graduation.
My dad gave me the flowers. My mum was present but left left after a short while.
Nursery school graduation
Nursery school graduation: My dad gave me a gift. mum was absent. (1/1)

I come from a family of six made up of 4 girls and two boys. It was dawn on me when I realized my mother didn’t like me and one of my sisters who happens to be the first child of the family.

As young I was I had to make my way to my dad every time I was faced with any challenge at school or in my community. My elder sister was still a teenager at that time but she managed to play the role of a mother to me because my mother failed to do so. Every time I heard my friends talk about their own mothers it felt like I was an orphan because I couldn’t go close to my mum. I feared terribly to do so because she will always beat me and send me away without listening to what I had to say.

The result was that that I could never seek solace in my mum, thus, anytime I needed to talk to a woman I ran to my elder sister. It affected me so much in my academics and I failed my final exams to be promoted to primary 7. This was the first time that I ever failed exams at school. I had always performed very well.  It became so hard because my mum showed maximum love, care and concern to my other siblings. But my father always had my back, he was fast to notice what I needed as a growing girl, he will always buy undies for me and advise me how I should take care of my personal body hygiene. I thank for having a father like my dad. I pray GOD bless my father with more wisdom and keep him alive to see the great woman that I will become.

I managed to complete primary education with trauma and my father enrolled me into SAINT ALBERT COMPREHENSIVE COLLEGE BAFUT because he wanted me to stay away from home and study well. On the day of reopening, I was shocked my mum picked up a fight with my dad for sending me to a boarding school. According to her it was wastage of money and I should learn a trade or skill. So she didn’t prepare any funks for me to take along to school, but my dad managed to buy few stuffs like garri, sugar, groundnuts, and milk. I was happy with that I finally prepared to go to my new environment away from my mum. I dreamt of the day that I will leave her side and I felt same. I remember crying so much because I will miss my father and elder sister as I was going to school. Presently as I write this painful story I am still crying.

On that day, my mum refused my ad from using the family car to drop me off at school. So my dad carried my trunk on his head and we headed to school campus. That was a new beginning for me because I will be happier out of the sight of my mum. I got to school, seeing new faces and new friends to make my happy. I recall my father telling me that education is the only thing that will make me what I want to become so that he will be proud of me.  He had to leave the campus and I wept as I watched him go because I missed him already and I had to be a girl on my own. Days passed and weeks and months I tried to cope when I was with my classmates and they all talk about their mothers. It became so unbearable that I had to meet our principal who was friends with my dad and explained everything to him.

 

On one occasion my mum bought schools and shoes for my other siblings living me out. She told me to go get a boyfriend who can buy my dresses. Sometimes she served me food in smaller quantity than the others. I was never satisfied and stay hungry or sometimes my dad gave me his share.

 

My mum had no positive vision about my life.

I was put in the most intelligent class of students as the college separate students according to intelligence in order to make teachers know how to teach in each class. So the competition was burning as to who will be called for the “morning stage” as we fondly called the first fifteen students of the class, I tried call I could and was called up twice with average of 17.8 and 18.03 respectively. My dad will be so happy whenever he comes around to check on me and give me allowance which will not be more than 5000frs which was not even half of other students, but I was still very happy because I knew where I came from and I knew how my father was struggling to make me become a big woman. I missed my dad more and more, moments we played, went to town to buy my stuffs and moments he advised me.

Months passed and December came and it was time for Christmas vacation, in as much as I was happy to go I was sad inside because I will have to meet my mum again. But I had no choice so I played along and pretended as other students express their joy of going home. I made my dad and my sister proud with my results as they came to pick me up from school. We went home and my nightmare started all over again.

The hate went on and on until my vacation was over. However, I went back to school better off than the other time and I was determined to make my dad more proud which I did.

When I started menstruating I had no one to tell because of shame but strangely enough I felt comfortable telling my dad because I was fun of him and he was the only one I had at that time, so I called and told him the next day he came to school with sanitary pads for me and also lectured me how to go about such moments of my life. He visited me often and that was what gave me courage to pull through. But I as well missed my mum and wanted to be loved by a mother like other children

Days, months and years passed as I was going to higher levels in education. I was appointed the social prefect of my college. That gave me courage to speak out in public and address the students and it built up my leadership skills.

As I end my childhood story, I am happy I went through all that because it taught a lot and made me a strong and ambitious lady as I muse through life. Am also not saying my mum is better now, she is worse than I thought but am still pulling through with help of my dad and sister. I still love my life so much and I don’t throw a pity party at myself because the God I serve can crack a palm kernel with an egg just to disgrace the stone.

 

This story was submitted in response to #DayOfTheGirl.

Comments 9

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Ngwa Damaris
Nov 07, 2018
Nov 07, 2018

How sad that a mother who is the backbone of the family should rather treat a child this way.However i am glad because you are using your story to become a better person.I also urge you to use this story to encourage other young girls and raise your kids with all the motherly love you didn't have.Much Love from me :)

Tecenta Achiri
Nov 07, 2018
Nov 07, 2018

thanks so much beloved
Indeed my story has made me better and taught me how to love others and be a better mother
Much love from me

Jill Langhus
Nov 07, 2018
Nov 07, 2018

Hi Tecenta,

Thanks for sharing your lovely photos and sad, but inspiring story about your mom. Did you tell us in a previous post why your mom doesn't seem to like you? It seems very odd, and I'm sure it was and is very traumatizing for you. I'm very glad to hear, though, that your dad and oldest sister were very supportive of you, though. I'm glad they were there for you and that you were able to thrive in your school and to get to where you are at today.

Hope you're having a great day, and good luck with your story submission.

Tecenta Achiri
Nov 07, 2018
Nov 07, 2018

thanks so much dear sister,
Indeed it hasn't been easy for me but am pulling through
Thanks for the words
Shalom

Jill Langhus
Nov 08, 2018
Nov 08, 2018

You're welcome, dear:-)

For real.... glad to hear it! Let us know if you need more support/encouragement, dear. We are hear for you!

Muchoh Florence
Nov 07, 2018
Nov 07, 2018

Dear sis, you story is sad. I understand how hard it can be to go through life. I am sure with your experience, you can serve as a counselor for other girls in same situation. Thank for share your story.

Tecenta Achiri
Nov 07, 2018
Nov 07, 2018

thanks a lot dear sister
Indeed I can and I do counsel other girls

Beth Lacey
Mar 21
Mar 21

I think you are a very special person to accomplish what you have without the support of your mother. Your dad is very special too.

Tecenta Achiri
Mar 29
Mar 29

indeed dear sister
My dad is one special human on earth