The darkness in my life that made the silver lining Visible.

Tembeng Eli-Anne Anwi
Posted November 23, 2019 from Cameroon

As most young girls born out of wedlock, the childhood stories are never sweet. Growing up with both biological parents still has its impact on me.

I came to know about sex at a very early age with the hard effects it gave to me. Between the ages of 7 to 9 years, was the period that almost spoilt my life. One faithful Tuesday around the early hours of the morning, I discovered this cousin of mine leaving the room which I slept with grandma. Grandma had left for morning prayers so he took advantage of that to mess with my body. 

That didn't end there because he knew grandma goes for morning prayers every Tuesday and Friday by 4am for morning prayers. This second day he came, in my sleep, I felt someone on me trying to spread my legs which I woke up and he threatened to get me beaten if I tell anyone. Considering how small I was back then and scared I let him get his way and he kept doing it and I finally got use to it and when ever he comes because of being scared and hatred for him, with my eyes closed pretending I was sleeping. 

He was not the only one but most painful because he was my cousin. Others then took the opportunity and this 3 years of my life was dark. 

With all this and no one to talk to, I started having a bad life. Six meant nothing to me, I didn't value it and gave it to everyone who came my way even ladies had to take advantage of me which led me in committing so many mistakes about 3 times repeatedly between the ages of 17 to 19 years. 

After this with the awareness I got to know everything they did to me was bad, I then decided to seek revenge by killing them if I ever met them. That rage and anger got the better part of me and I became rude and hated anyone who made sexual desires or advances on me. Last year 2018, I saw the need to share my story and inspire other ladies and make them know they can make it and be the hope for a better tomorrow to someone else. Reason why I founded Hope for a Better Tomorrow (HOBET) where we fight against Gender Based Violence and promote women Empowerment because most of these happens to us because we are vulnerable.

Let's all #Standwithher

Support each other 

Love survivors

#ProudSurvivor

#HOBET

This story was submitted in response to #IStandWithHer.

Comments 13

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Tarke Edith
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019

Hello Tenbeng
You are welcome to the furum a place where are stories shared is halve solve
A place where other must enourage you in time of pains and joy .
Stay bless and save with us dear,

Jill Langhus
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019

Hello Tembeng,

Welcome to World Pulse, dear. I'm so sorry to hear about all these rapes that happened to you, and as such a young and tender age:-( How horrible. And, to keep it bottled up for so long. How are you doing now, dear? Have you gone to therapy to address all the feelings and anger that you must feel for having gone through this?

I am glad, however, that it inspired you to empower and help other women that have undergone the same violence. Does your organization have a website and/or social media page(s) to like/follow?

I'm looking forward to hearing more about your work and organization.

You may also want to collaborate with Marie Abanga who also is passionate about educating and empowering women who have been raped in Cameroon. This is her profile, if you would like to reach out to her: https://www.worldpulse.com/user/56792/bio

Hope you're safe and well, dear.

XX

Tembeng Eli-Anne Anwi
Dec 13, 2019
Dec 13, 2019

Thank you very much ma

Yes gotten in touch with her.

Here is the link to my organization and what we are doing.
https://www.facebook.com/hope4abettertomorow/
Ready to partner with others.

I have not gotten any external psychosocial help and I wish I could

Jill Langhus
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019

You're very welcome! Oh, great! She's wonderful, smart, driven and very resourceful. You are in good hands. I hope you'll be able to collaborate.

Great! I will check it out. Thanks for sharing!

Oh, dear. Perhaps Marie can help you with that, too, dear. You shouldn't have to try to deal with that all on your own:-(

XX

Anita Shrestha
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019

Thank you for sharing

Ekitah
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019

Hello Tembeng!
Thanks for sharing your story with us. Its heart touching and also educative. Thank God you finally realised yourself and came out of it. You are blessed to be on this platform of sisterhood. Lets continue to share our experiences so as to learn and support each other. Nice weekend.

ANJ ANA
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019

Dear Tembeng,

Let me give you warm love and tight hugs initially. I am so sorry to hear about your sufferings, it must not happen to any of the girls. But globally it is happening and 7 out of 10 rapes are committed by people the victim knows. It is estimated that 93% of child victims and between 84% – 90% of adult victims knew their perpetrators. Rapists come from all classes, races, and backgrounds. We say to be aware of strangers to our little girls but the rapist inside our homes is making our little girls more vulnerable. All the little girls must be strictly taught for bad touch and good touch of people including their close family members and must instruct them for shouting for any kind of unease if she feels from anyone's touch or intention. The vulnerability must be learn by even senior members in the family, as an example, your grandmother was unaware of these happenings within the family.
I feel so proud that you came out with a good campaign against your sad experience, hatred and violent urges, and now are standing with those thousand young girls and women who are silently surviving with this kind of dismay every day. Bravo, my girl.
We would like to hear from you more and wish you very best wishes for your work.
My best to you,
anjana

Tembeng Eli-Anne Anwi
Dec 13, 2019
Dec 13, 2019

Thank you very much ma.
I will keep updating the house with my activities.
Our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/hope4abettertomorow/
We update all our activities around here

Lisbeth
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019

My dear,
A warm welcome to world pulse. Also congratulations for speaking up. It's so sad you hear what you went through.
He should be ashamed of his actions now. It's good you speak up as you just did.
Take care of yourself
Regards

Tembeng Eli-Anne Anwi
Dec 13, 2019
Dec 13, 2019

A pleasure ma

lizzymark
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019

Hi dear,its difficult but you are here today your pain has made you strong am proud of you. Keep on never give up you are saving others by this and teaching them to speak up. I hope you are fine,thanks for shearing.

Tembeng Eli-Anne Anwi
Dec 13, 2019
Dec 13, 2019

My pleasure.

Jacqueline Namutaawe
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Oh indeed Hope For a Better Tomorrow thanks for standing up.