Silence

Tesleemah
Posted September 24, 2021 from Nigeria

I know, many will be curious about the kind of silence I am referring to! You don't need to strain your brain over that ; neither need to keep guessing.

Truly, the word silence is ambiguous. But  today, not referring to the silence that enhances concentration, promotes meditation and allows you to be in touch with your inner thought or get you to think neither to act but really talking about the silence which has led to suicide; which has destroyed thousands of lives and claim millions of properties out there.

According to Martin Luther King Jr. "our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matters". That is just the reality. You know this but still silence yourself ; hurt yourself and weaken your soul every seconds. It is high time for you to be awaken and raise your voice to the sky!

Silence is a dangerous habit, which is an act of denying yourself from speaking out the troubles you are going through to the closer ones. 

When you silence yourself, it damages everything. One of the things that causes silence in your life is fear.

Having a fear that when you speak out about  the bad things someone has done or keep doing, it will end the relationship between you and the person. You keep silence  because you value the relationship and  afraid that it will worsen or even end if you say how you really feel.  Ironically, without honest and open dialogue, without voicing out there is no possibility of a deeper and better relationship.  

Silencing yourself keep worsen the situation and eating your heart slowly which you have no idea about. Do you know that, keeping silent doesn’t make that feeling dissipate? Just the opposite happens–the unspoken problem remains, distancing occurs and the relationship suffers as a result.

Threatening could make one to remain silent. The victims of assaults can be threatened with death by their assaulters which makes them so scared to tell even their close associates.    Also, in marriages where people subject themselves to series of unnecessary torture because they claim to love their partner and will always hope things change for good till it get out of hands and probably result to death. I could vividly recall an incident that happened few years back in Lagos state where a 16 years old girl stabbed her father to death because the father had been sexually assaulting the girl right from when she was 15. But, when she reported to her mother, she shut her up and accused her of being evil and wanted to destroy her home. When the mother fount out the truth, she couldn't do anything as she only told her daughter to remain silent. The husband never stop assaulting his daughter till she could no longer take it and finally decide to end it by stabbing her father to death. This and many more incidents had occurred which the  victim still kept it to themselves which later result to emotional trauma and lead to suicide.

The society has a big role to play in this case by showing love and affection to the victims of sexual abuse and many more bad vices. Also, they need to stop treating them like a plague which is the reason why most people silence themselves.

In all, the government is not left out in this case, they need to partner with agencies that will orientate the people on the need to always voice out their grief, they need to realize that their voice is the power they posses against these unscrupulous individuals. There is also the need to instail a strict punishment for those evil doers. I heard the government has out a measure in place by castigating those found wanting of rape or sexual assault which is a very good step. They need to ensure these rules are follow religiously by the judiciary.

Comments 25

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Rahmana Karuna
Sep 24
Sep 24

thank you for writing this important topic. personally i am very outspoken, and over the decades have tempered my voice. tone is important. The Vagina Monologues production is one way i have spoken out in my very vagina unfriendly town here in usa.
where there are men, this will continue
where are the women in government and elected positions.
much blessings to you and look forward to more of your stories.

Tesleemah
Sep 24
Sep 24

Thank you so much as you encouraged me In writing more and more.

Busayo Obisakin
Sep 24
Sep 24

YES! Raise your voice to the sky, silence kills and everyone's voices must be heard. Kudos to you Sis! Thank you for this wonderful piece!
Love
Busayo

Tesleemah
Sep 24
Sep 24

You welcome, Busayo. I'm so happy to have your comment on it.

BrittnGrey
Sep 24
Sep 24

Tesleemah, thank you for this powerful post on the dangers of silence. I agree with you that society plays a huge role in changing cultures of silence and providing love and support to women who speak the truth of their experiences. Rather than rejecting women who speak the truth with courage, we must protect them, believe them, and foster a community that celebrates telling the truth. I want to thank you for your courageous voice.

Tesleemah
Sep 24
Sep 24

Yes. Silence kills and we need to stop that.
Thanks, BrittnGrey.

Kay Link
Sep 24
Sep 24

Thank you for sharing this powerful post - and your powerful voice. Women can keep so much inside ourselves and we can be afraid to share our struggles or the violence done to us in fear of not being believed. Governments and communities everywhere must do their part to make sure there is justice and safety for women and victims.

Cynthia B
Sep 24
Sep 24

Tesleemah, thank you for writing and using your powerful voice. You are so right, silence about difficult experiences slowly eats away your soul and saps the joy from your life. Speaking truth to power is a difficult but essential and courageous revolutionary act. I hope you speak on about the issues you see around you and experience.

megsmueller
Sep 25
Sep 25

Hello dear sister
Thank you for this very important post.
Silence is indeed a killer. I think the reason why women are silent (I was one of them for many years) is because of the response they receive when they first speak out. It's all about the response and the plan of action. With a negative response, you feel completely degraded and disregarded and it's a painful thing to live with. Our governments really need to step up. Like Rahmana says, where are the female government officials?
I can't agree with you more, society has a huge responsibility to embrace victims and dominate/run with a plan of action. Thanks again for your story, again.

Much love!

megsmueller
Sep 25
Sep 25

...and by the way...welcome to World Pulse! Your first story is so powerful, I dug right in and forgot to welcome you...ha ha ha!

Tesleemah
Oct 01
Oct 01

So happy with this comment. Thanks so much for taken out of your time to make a comment on it.
How has been everything over there, sis?

Tamarack Verrall
Sep 28
Sep 28

Dear Tesleemah,
It is so empowering and encouraging to meet you through your story and experience your strong voice calling on us all to not accept or fall into silence about all of this violence against women and girls. How good to have you with u here in World Pulse. A big welcome!

Tesleemah
Sep 29
Sep 29

Thank you so much. I'm so much great ful, through you, I live.
Through world pulse community, I breath and feel alive.

Regina Afanwi Young
Sep 29
Sep 29

Dear Tesleemah, its a pleasure to having you here. I love your write up on silence. I wish all women could speak up especially when they experience violence.
So much empowerment to be done out there on this.
Looking forward to reading from you again dear sister
Sending hugs*** Regina

Corine Milano
Oct 01
Oct 01

Tesleemah, thank you for sharing your thoughts on the importance of raising our voices, and the dangers of silence. World Pulse couldn't agree more. I'm happy to share that World Pulse has featured this in the email digest that goes out today — congrats for being highlighted!

Tesleemah
Oct 01
Oct 01

Thanks so much, sis. So much grateful for reading it and receiving back a comment on it .

But how can I know that it has been featured, sis?

Queen Dorcas
Oct 01
Oct 01

Tesleemah I didn't wanted to stop reading. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, this is really a beautiful piece. Silence is deadly and everyone voice matters. Looking forward to see more of you
Love
Queen Dorcas

Olanike Adesanya
Oct 01
Oct 01

Nice story told by Tesleemah.
Congratulations, your story Featured.
You're right. Silence must be broken on certain social vices, else, the danger that follows could be heavier than expected.

Good job.
SILENCE must be broken.

Jefiter Mang
Oct 01
Oct 01

I agree we can not keep silent.
Well done for the call to speak up
.

SIMON MUREU
Oct 01
Oct 01

Thank you for this piece and you tell it very rightful.One should always come out and talk for your own health mental====

Cgbidi
Oct 02
Oct 02

Yes oo, sometimes speaking out can make you feel better within. Someone could here it and help you solve the problem. Therefore silence is not the best way out.

Sumera Reshi
Oct 02
Oct 02

Dear Tesleemah,

I agree with you silence is very dangerous. Your story has a depth and is equally inspiring. Let us all shun the deafening silence and raise our voice. This world needs to listen to the women as well.
Regards,
Sumera

Queen Sheba D Cisse
Oct 05
Oct 05

Good morning Tesleemah,
how are you my dear? Thanks for writing about this subject. We all know as adults that silence breeds corruption and injustice. We also know and realize to have witnessed that same evil everywhere. I travel often and live on two continents at this writing and expanding GOD willing and will continue to advocate for the work related to this topic.

Keep uplifting your voice in your community and encourage others as you are doing. Keep HOPE alive and surely #westandwithyou! Write to tell your story and NEVER ever give up! Thanks for sharing,

sincerely,
Mama Queen

Tesleemah
Oct 05
Oct 05

Thanks so much for your comment. I really appreciate it alot as you said something regarding it.

I want to be an advocator must especially on this topic to my society. But, I don't know how to go about it yet because I have never come across those that advocate In my society.

Queen Sheba D Cisse
Oct 05
Oct 05

Dear Tesleemah,
how are you this beautiful day?
We learn by experience, for me it is a lifetime and I truly believe for us all. This same listening, growing and challenges and it ups and downs with so much to say to much to write here, blessed me in my journey and I can say destination ongoing. We are here at www.queenshebavillage.org and on social media. I invite you to visit and follow if you desire.
Thank you and contact us anytime.

Mama Queen