After reading a article published by (http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/28/i-had-the-courage-to-leave-an-abusive-relationship?CMP=share_btn_fb) the Gurdian i have realized that i went through the same type of abusive relationship for two years. I was tortured , i cried , i could not sleep well, fell into a deep level of depression and frustration. I was controlled by someone from overseas whom i never have met in life. I was controlled in social media, personal and professional life by the person whom i never have seen in my life. I was finiancially dependent somehow which gave him more power to control me . I was not allowed to post a single picture with a male friend, i was not allowed to talk in phone or chat in facebook (even not a hello), i was not allowed to visit places with friends i wanted to. I was chained not by him but by myself. I was forced to feel myself down and thought everything was my fault due to my past relationships, past deeds. I was so down to face myself. I was too much thinking about my family, friends, relatives and society. I used to think if i break the relationship what people will think? what my relatives will think? But Alas! i forgot my own self respect, my own dignity. I was being blamed for the simplest things and were hummilated, insulted and slut shamed. People thought i was in a healthy relationship, i was being gifted flowers, cakes by a person from overseas. No one could see my pain , my tears and sufferings. I was emotionally and mentally broken inside and out. My grades fell down and i lost some of my close friends for the person.
I was being lied regarding his studies, family and even about his parents. I have never experienced these things before. I was being lied so that i would feel guilty and always follow his words. I was being lied so that i could not think to leave him. He made me to realize that i was responsible for the relationship break down between his family and him. I later found out his family nothing knew about me and our relationship for 2 years. He lied to me regarding his mother's physical condition that she had gone to coma due to the family chaos that caused by our relationship. He lied that he could not submit his thesis for me and graduate . I was tortured every single day and night , i was the victim of an abusive relationship.
I finally came out from the abusive relationship 5 months back and i gathered the courage to come out. I just thought about myself, my dignity and i happiness. I did not care what others will think. People will talk anyway . I needed to prove myself in front of me and my family that i am not inferior and vulnerable. I have the strong determination and plans for future. I have lot to give to my people , to my community.
I am free now , free from all the lies, all the tears i was given. I was a victim and i struggled to overcome from mental salvation. We talk all about feminism and rights but often we forget how awful situation we have in our personal lives. I have choosen to be happy and to stand for my own rights and self dignity.