The battle between the heart and the mind

Isabella Unzia
Posted January 26, 2019 from Uganda

I was so full of dreams,dreams of a perfect marriage, family and home. I remember so vividly how he looked for my number, called me everyday, drove across 5 districts to spend the weekend with me. I was so in love, couldn't wait to show him to my parents.

He promised me a huge introduction ceremony and a church wedding,what else could a young woman wish for, he was a perfect gentle, so I thought. I took him and introduced him to my family and everybody loved him. Four months down the road,we were delighted with the news of our first child. Everything was perfect in my eyes little did I know that behind that perfect gentle attitude lay a very dark secret that would tear or crash any young woman's hopes.

We had our first child and it was a baby boy. In our culture,when a woman gives birth, one of the man's relatives is supposed to take care of her but this didn't happen in my case,he never informed them about my pregnancy. Six months down the road,I start getting rumours that he has two children. I was ok with the children because they were older than my son. However when I approached him, he denied having children. I did my investigation and found out that he had another family. I felt betrayed,hurt, devastated but stupid because how did this happen I thought. The worst part is I invested so much thinking the developments we were making in the village was for us but little did I know that I was making another woman's life comfortable. I went into depression for months, contemplated suicide. However I had to stay strong for my boy. I move out of the house I helped build with only my suitcases and left everything behind. I told myself that am worth much more and I made him what he is so I can still rise and achieve more. He told me that the organisation I begun will never grow and here I am proving him wrong. Here I am today,so full of life and growing strong.

Comments 12

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Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi

My dearest sister Isabella,
You are victorious in so many ways. Nothing can ever hold you back. Thank you for sharing such a personal story. It has surely impacted so many women and girls going through the same deceit. I love the part where you walked out of the house you contributed to build. Sometimes the pain we go through fighting is not worth it, it ends up breaking our spirits. You are a free spirit and with that kind of atittude nothing will ever get in your way. Continue to shine and aim for the stars.

Isabella Unzia
Feb 01
Feb 01

Thanks dear Anita, we women have a tendency of fighting for a marriage where you are not wanted just because you invested together, or for the sake of children. If you are not happy, how will you raise happy children, are you going to spend the rest of life so miserable, no. I hope more women learn to stand up for themselves.

jlanghus
Jan 28
Jan 28

Hi Isabella,

Thanks for sharing your sad story. Was this recent? Have you forgiven him, and yourself, for anything you feel that you may done? This will help you to heal and move on. You don't need to prove anything to him or anyone else. You are enough. Please prove this and do this for yourself only. That's where true joy and peace lives.

Hope you're having a good day, dear.

Isabella Unzia
Feb 01
Feb 01

Dear jlanghus,
This has been a recent event. It is difficult not to think about all the events that happened, and every time you do, the anger, pain, feeling of betrayal all come rushing back. Am in the healing process, I want to one day sit down with, look him in the eye and say I forgive.
I hope I get their. Thank you sister, you are right If I don't forgive him,I will not be able to heal completely and move on.

jlanghus
Feb 01
Feb 01

Hi Isabella,

Oh:( I know what you mean. It can be very difficult to forgive and heal, but with each day you will get stronger and be able to forgive more. That sounds like a great, healing goal for you, dear. Yes, you will! You have the intention and the goal. I have faith that you will. Exactly. You will give yourself the ultimate gift, then, and will no longer be a prisoner.

Jane Frances Mufua
Jan 30
Jan 30

Dear Isabella,

You are a great lady. You are already proving him wrong. Secondly you are worth much more. I am happy you were able to move on. I am happy you are full of life and growing strong

Rachyrae
Jan 30
Jan 30

Wow Isabella, your story is inspiring and encouraging. What I love is that you realised his flaws earlier than when it was late. In fact you proved that you are strong enough to overcome the situation. I am so proud of you. Thank God for a great platform like this, where we can inspire ourselves to become the best versions of ourselves. Your best motivation should be for your boy. Giving him the right education and rebuilding a new life, career and inspiring others who experienced your story to live their glory!

Welldone

Juliet Acom
Feb 26
Feb 26

You are an overcomer! walking out of a toxic relationship to ensure a bright future for your child is true maturity.

Wishing you all the best.

Bim Adegbite
Mar 15
Mar 15

...and still you rise! Good for you and thanks for sharing.

Isabella Unzia
Mar 25
Mar 25

You are welcome dear.

Bettina Amendi
Mar 16
Mar 16

Isabella,all men are liers but God.You did the right thing to run for your dear life,Hold on to Jesus.Though weeping may endure for a night,joy comes in the morning.2019 is your morning.

Isabella Unzia
Mar 25
Mar 25

True dear and thank you