May God make more fathers like you, papa

Urmila Chanam
Posted June 21, 2020 from India

Every father loves their child(dren) but you were there for me when I made my biggest life decisions; unwaivering, supportive, respectful, giving me space yet letting me know you are there if I needed you. I remember walking down the aisle in a wedding gown in a beautiful church in a new community outside of ours with you by my side, accepting, endorsing, putting up a brave and positive front and trying to integrate into a new culture only for the sake of your daughter (me).

You were there for me years down the line when I decided to walk out of an abusive marriage. How hard it was to take that step; analysis of the pluses and minuses would give me migraines and the fear of making a wrong decision would cripple me. You told me, "You decide Nanu. If your decision is to leave this man and you are suffering with him, don't fear for the future. Your father is still alive."

There was a court case and child custody legal battle and many problems in the years that followed by virtue of being a single mother, professional and living on my own but the biggest fight was the one inside my heart. Not once in these 13 years of my struggle have you reminded me that I am divorced. Not once have you mentioned about the domestic violence case or broached a topic that cause me pain.

You helped me raise Bunbun. I think you were also raising me to be a good mother to her. You helped me so much. And it brings tears to my eyes when I remember the day you cooked lunch for me when I was busy with office, something no one will believe at home because you have never cooked in your own house. I have never felt alone, helpless or sad because you were there for me all throughout.

" No matter what you do, there is one person who will always support you and that is your dad." Yes, this is what I have heard from you since I was a child.

I know what it takes to survive through the darkest storms- someone who believes in them that they can have a wonderful life and who gives them respect that allows them to forget the past and move on. So here is wishing you a happy Father's Day papa!! May God make more fathers like you.

Comments 14

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Chi8629
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020

Thank you Sister for sharing .
Happy Father's day to your day and other good father's out there . Love always Chi.

Urmila Chanam
Oct 08, 2020
Oct 08, 2020

Dearest sister,
We need good men now of all the times when crimes against women is hitting an all time high and there is organised resistance to girls and women finding their voice and exercising choice. Thanks sister for your wishes.
Much love always,
Urmila Chanam

Tamarack Verrall
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020

Urmila, my dear sister,
You have spoken before about your beloved father, and this time your story reads as a beautiful poem. Happy father's day to your father. May he feel surrounded by the love he has shared with many.
With love,
Tam

Urmila Chanam
Oct 08, 2020
Oct 08, 2020

Dearest sister Tamarack,
Thanks a lot for the wash wishes sister. Being my close friend over years, you have heard about my family several times :) :)
Love and hugs,
Urmila Chanam

Beth Lacey
Jun 22, 2020
Jun 22, 2020

The sweetest!
XXOO

Urmila Chanam
Oct 08, 2020
Oct 08, 2020

Thanks, sister Beth. Fathers and mothers(parents) are the most special people in our lives and no one can come close to the love they have.

Anita Shrestha
Jun 22, 2020
Jun 22, 2020

Thank you very much

Urmila Chanam
Oct 08, 2020
Oct 08, 2020

Anita, thanks for reading. Hope you are doing well.

Karen QuiƱones-Axalan
Jun 24, 2020
Jun 24, 2020

Hello, sis Urmila,

Wow. This piece resonates so much with me. May this world have more fathers like yours.

May I ask what is "Nanu"?

This is so touching, dear, "don't fear for the future. Your father is still alive". I'm teary-eyed. He sounds like my father.

Thank you for sharing with us this lovely relationship you have with your dad, sis Urmila.

Urmila Chanam
Oct 08, 2020
Oct 08, 2020

Dearest sister Karen,
Nanu is my nickname at home. I am aware of your deep bond with your father and had read a post long back. We learn so much about our parents when we mature, become adults and go out in the real world. Thanks sister for reading.
Much love,
Urmila Chanam

Catherine De Freitas
Jun 27, 2020
Jun 27, 2020

Hello sis,
A father's love is precious and priceless. I am so happy you have this love. A love that so many daughters have never received. You are blessed and so is your dad to have a wonderful daughter like you. Blessings to your wonderful dad.

Urmila Chanam
Oct 08, 2020
Oct 08, 2020

Dearest Catherine,
Love is the most priceless gift and also, a rare and priceless one at that. But we often are unable to understand who loves us genuinely and a lifetime is wasted. I hope Father's day and other important days give us a reminder to value the people in our lives who enrich it.
Love and hugs,
Urmila Chanam

Kika Katchunga
Jul 13, 2020
Jul 13, 2020

Hello
proud of you my sister to have found a good dad who brought you everything are supported; his love; he is really a hero. my greetings to all, thank you for sharing with us

Urmila Chanam
Oct 08, 2020
Oct 08, 2020

Dearest Kika,
Thank you sister for your warm wishes.
Much love,
Urmila Chanam