The real life of a Tanzanian girl child

valem
Posted August 20, 2020 from Tanzania

I remember when I was just 5 years old or less my mother started teaching me domestic chores,  such as fetching long-distance water, collecting firewood, washing dishes and caring for my younger siblings,  This seems to be very common in the community, at which point a 9-year-old boy spends his time playing with his peers. Even if he is given household responsibilities and does not do them no one will punish the father he becomes his advocate.

I remember my brother was not doing any work even  setting the table for food is not responsible at all. My mother use to tell me learn to do household chores without embarrassing yourself in your marriage, I kept telling my mother because the girls are illiterate and we must get married.,Mother loves to answer it is our culture a girl child must remarry if you are late we must go to traditional experts to see the reason for your delay.

At the age of 13 at family level, school  level and community at large this girl facing  an  mentioned challenges like;

  • sexual violence

  • buried of his dreams

  • Voice less
  • child marriage
  • Early pregnancy
  • be dependent
  • Being an indecisive mother
  • being at risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases

 

My recommendation

  • building community capacity on gender equality at all levels ,society should be aware that both girls and boys are entitled to basic rights without discrimination, 

  •  

    facilitating friendly learning environments such as hostel construction, providing stipend to children from poor families, supporting fares to those from rural areas and parents are not able to.

  •  

    Educate men on the importance of participating in the upbringing of girls and boys together

This story was submitted in response to Supporting Our Girls.

Comments 20

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Bec1090
Aug 20
Aug 20

You are a remarkable woman, with solid applicable ideas that certainly will change the world for the better. Be encouraged, hopefully others will see the wisdom of your words and join your struggle to empower girls and women to create communities of equality. Thank you.

Hello, Valem,

Many girls can relate to your story, including me. I felt the boys had an easy life when I was a girl. Gender equality must begin at home and chores should be gender-less.

These are great recommendations, dear! Thank you for raising your voice and sharing this with us. Keep them coming please. Looking forward to reading more from you.

valem
Aug 21
Aug 21

Dear Karem

thank you for the words that add to my pace. I love your heart of encouragement.before i knew world purse i had no place to express my challenges i was not there at all .I thank the founders of this forum.

You're welcome, dear sister. We will journey alongside you. Yes, we are grateful to the founders for creating this platform!

valem
Aug 21
Aug 21

sis Bec1090

thank you so much for realizing what I am doing, there is so much I will bring here about my real life to where I am

Olutosin
Aug 21
Aug 21

Its same with us here but the good thing is that many new generation families are working towards Transformation.
We will definitely get it right. Thanks for your recommendation. Beautiful.

valem
Aug 21
Aug 21

thanks sis olutosin

Nini Mappo
Aug 21
Aug 21

Dear Valem,
Indeed this problem is so prevalent across Africa. I had the same experience and it's still prevalent in my community. You have such fantastic point on how to address this problem!

The other important thing we can do is change how we parent boys, and display gender fairness in the home. We can campaign for that. we can educate mothers who are usually in charge of distributing chores. We can begin this war in the home, and if we make strides in the home, the whole society will change!

Good on you for having such clarity of the situation and vision for change.

valem
Aug 21
Aug 21

thanks sis Nini
point for action taken

Kristine Yakhama
Aug 21
Aug 21

I thought it is in Kenya where people don't value girls we are moving from culture and empowering community to give girl child a chance she is a nation

valem
Aug 21
Aug 21

let us raise our voice for gender equality

Tamarack Verrall
Aug 23
Aug 23

Hello Valem,
This is why the world needs leadership by women. You have said it so strongly, firm in your experience and your heart. How great that you have found us and become part of World Pulse. we have been lied to, globally, that it was always this way. Now we are finding each other and working together for the world of freedom we know is our human right. I love that you set out the reality, and the recommendations.

valem
Aug 23
Aug 23

Thank you Tamarack

Yes sister
the issues of gender equality are ignored by many as many societies equate a woman with a young child.

Leonida Odongo
Aug 24
Aug 24

Dear Valem,

Thank you for reminding us that patriarchy is entrenched , sometimes in culture and made to seem acceptable.Yes to address this imbalance , men and boys need to participate and be aware that they too have a role to play in shaping a future that respects women and girls.

valem
Aug 25
Aug 25

Its true sis leonida
thanks for your comment

Prozoe
Aug 30
Aug 30

This is a problem even in my country. Yes progress has been made in that a small number of men and boy children were fortunate enough to be guided and brought up in a good way, but much still needs to be done.

We stand alongside you sister and will continue to raise our voices for gender fairness. Investing in the foundation of every boy child we have access to and advocateting for active paternal parenting to reflect, as an example,of how to treat women fairly and with respect.

Keep pushing Sis

valem
Aug 31
Aug 31

thank you sis for commenting
How are you there ?and your family hope they are all smiling,

Queen Sheba D Cisse
Oct 07
Oct 07

Greetings Valem.
How are you? What a good story and observation here!
We so agree that both parents should educate their male children about the roles and respect of women and females in society. Before that the male should be educated on his role and how he should treat, honor and respect his first teacher which of course is his mother.
The matriarch laws of the universe once applied, all will fall into place.
Women Queens first and forever. Rise Up in empowerment forever rule the universe!
sincerely,
Mama Queen

valem
Oct 07
Oct 07

Thanks so much mama Queen.
For the input you add and suggestion be blessed

Queen Sheba D Cisse
Oct 08
Oct 08

Your so welcome my dear, likewise!
Mama Queen