Bose Speaks in Death

Vweta
Posted December 13, 2013 from United Kingdom

On September 17th 2013, I received a phone call from a friend telling me about a woman - Bose who had been thrown out of the home she built and shared with her husband shortly after becoming disabled. Her family did not want her back either. For 10months, she was homeless and hungry and very sick.

An aunt took her in, a few days before she died, amid discouragement from other members of her family. That aunt is still answering questions about why she gave Bose shelter and warmth and food during her last days alive.

*Bose allowed me record our interview for two reasons: • She needed help urgently and she wanted me to share her voice with anyone who might be able to; • She wanted other women to learn from her life story, so that they do not to fall victims of the same fate as she did.

In the interview, she tells a story of how her husband made her leave her well paying job immediately after he got a job; how he made her have three abortions while he was making babies with another woman; and how she could no longer have children of her own because of the abortions she’s had.

Bose’s story highlights:

  1. The lack of safety net for people with disabilities to carry on leading as independent a life as possible when their social and family networks abandon them;

  2. The lack of access to the justice system to seek redress in common-law/court/ customary marriage disputes, separation and divorce;

  3. Lack of mediation services to act as an in between to achieve possible resolution instead of undertaking the prohibitive judicial avenue;

  4. A dearth of third sector organizations, which cater for, support, shelter and rehabilitate stigmatized and socially excluded PWDs;

  5. No officially recognized mechanism for dealing with domestic abuse, violence against women, sexual exploitation, wanton discrimination against PWDs; and

  6. No dedicated government parastatal, quango or ministry in charge of the affairs, safeguarding the wellbeing of vulnerable adults including those with disabilities.

I am able to listen to the voice of Bose even though she is dead, as would other women the world over because of technology.

Technology has made an honest journalist out of me and technology guarantees that for years to come, Bose will always speak to us, tell us her story no matter where we are.

Technology can be a great ally in our fight against violence against women, gender inequality and discrimination and abuse against Persons with disabilities as it provides solid evidence and legitimacy to our experiences and stories. Lets Take The Tech Back!

Listen to Bose speak:

*Bose Bode Onifison died on 28th of October 2013, five weeks after we had this interview.

***This story was peer reviewed by Mr Ogee Robinson, a social work/social care consultant.

Take Back the Tech 2013

Comments 21

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awinkie
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013

It is great to hear about issues occurring in other countries from those actually living there. The structures that you listed as failing Bose were very enlightening. I couldn't believe the structural violence that Bose endured. Thank you for sharing your story. I too believe that technology is really important in combating these issues.

Vweta
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013

Thank you for lettling Bose speak to you.

The sort of violence, rejection and neglect Bose endured should never happen, not in a country that values the lives of women and humans!

But she did, she died and her husband and family got away with it.

Thanks to technology, her story can be a wayfinder for other women.

Bose's soul lights the path for other women to thread!

awinkie
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013

It is great to hear about issues occurring in other countries from those actually living there. The structures that you listed as failing Bose were very enlightening. I couldn't believe the structural violence that Bose endured. Thank you for sharing your story. I too believe that technology is really important in combating these issues.

ikirimat
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013

Thank you for sharing Bose's story. This is the power of technology. The six points you give are critical for action if our governments to undertake in order to ensure safety and welbeing of women . May her soul rest in eternal peace

Vweta
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013

Thank you for letting Bose speak to you.

I agree that the government has a big role to play, but i am also worried about how we as humans have become so unempathetic towards the surferings of our fellow human, how we as a society let our women suffer and how we let pepertrators of injustices against women get away with it.

Obisakin Busayo
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013

This is very sad, if it has been Bose's husband that was in her predicament and Bose ran away, our people will be saying women are betrayals. I wonder where all these people were and nobody could make case for Bose. Thank you for sharing this. This is the power of technology indeed!!

Love Busayo

Vweta
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013

Thank you for writing in. Indeed, women are always at the receiving end of societal injustices and discrimination.

She rests now. That's my consolation.

Pascal Byamungu
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013

L'histoire de Bose est tellement touchante. On remarque que la plus part des personnes vivant avec handicape sont moin considérées dans la société. Alors que ces sont les personnes qui devraient être les plus sécurisées dans la société. L'état doit prendre considération de la situation des personnes vivant avec handicape. Mais aussi c'est grâce à la technologie que nous connaissons la situation de Bose. La technologie est à la tête du monde actuel. Merci beaucoup Vweta

Vweta
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013

Merci beaucoup Pascal

Pascal Byamungu
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013

World Pulse is a big site that makes avery body on line. Think you to WP. Vweta, you are a big big wife. Thank you.

Ma. Guzman-Callano
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013

I strongly agree with your insights, Vweta. We need more people who can speak out for the voiceless and powerless. If no change can happen in the near future despite your revelations, something good will come out in God's perfect time. Just continue to share and tell the story of Bose and other victims of violence and neglect. God bless you dear!

HOPE tOWELA
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013

This is such a sad and touching story at the same time, We women need to continue to speak up, and educate each other.

This story is an eye opener for us women, We need to speak out and also share such stories to our friends , family , & media.

Stay Blessed.

ccontreras
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013

I really feel that your story is bringing light to people with disabilities and also for women to raise their voices and speak up about their experiences. I will follow Bose because this is a story and a legacy that has to live on across cultures. Thank you for sharing such a powerful story and mission! Cynthia

Prudence Chinemu Phiri
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013

It is sad that such oppression goes on everywhere, though am happy that Bose wanted to make a difference even in her death. Her voice will forever live, thanks to technology. Really, the world need such courageous women like Bose, who speak even in on their death bed. Thank you for sharing this Powerful story. remember, the World is listening.

Keep up the good work

Vweta
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013

Thank you for letting Bose speak to you.

She was very brave through it all, her strenght and bravery is evident in her deciding to share her story with the world even after her death.

I wish we didn't let her down. I pray we don't let her down.

Nicole.Staudinger
Dec 21, 2013
Dec 21, 2013

You are so brave to do this, bringing poignant stories to the public eye. It's a brilliant idea and I think could have real impact. Please continue to document interviews like this - I know it must be emotional and challenging work.

Grace Haven
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013

This women's story is so tragic. I wish for no being to suffer in that way. I appreciate you sharing her story as I suspect it allows many of us to appreciate what we do have and desire a better future for those who are suffering. This paragraph is so powerful: "Technology can be a great ally in our fight against violence against women, gender inequality and discrimination and abuse against Persons with disabilities as it provides solid evidence and legitimacy to our experiences and stories." Thank-you, In appreciation, Grace

Anna Sontag
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013

Dear Vweta:

Thank you for documenting Bose's experience, her tragedy, and the tragic wrongdoing of her husband.

One thing about the "new world," in the west may be that since our culture is not embedded in the ways of five thousand and more years ago, it is more easy for us to let go of old ways that are based in fear, misjudgement, and lack of resources. And I know that in old cultures, even though so many people know better, systems change so slowly that wrong and terrible things still happen. I will send my prayers and love to you all, and I hope it helps somehow!

The cultural tradition and government that allow a man to treat his wife this way are going to change, and the courage of those voices like yours who are bringing light to the situation are so important. I know that the tragedy of the Indian girl who was so terribly raped has ended up bringing light and passion of many to the situation in India.

Voices like yours will promote more women to seek change, and with power growing for women and people of conscience, the wheel of change will move, seemingly too slowly at first, but more and more. I believe the world is going to be enlightened and that your work will be fruitful.

Bless you,

Anna

Pushpa Achanta
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013

Dear Vweta,

I'm grateful for your soul stirring piece and agree that many people with disabilities struggle for a dignified life in countries like India. Some here consider disability a curse and also desexualize women with disabilities. The state and society often sidelines their needs despite them and others highlighting their challenges.

People with disabilities need more empathy than sympathy! Let us include, not ignore them.

Enjoy 2014.

Love, Pushpa

cassie_levy
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013

Thank you for sharing Bose's story! Technology has the power to transform movements ! I hope this is the start to something amazing. I especially like your quote, "let's take back the tech world"!!! Keep up the good work! Cassie

Linda M. Ando
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013

Dear Vweta and Bose,

I am deeply touched by the courage and humanity of Bose for sharing her story as testimony to the injustices she and other women endure by so called loved one's. Bose was a woman of extraordinary humanity and advocate for social justice for people with disabilities. In her dying breath she is determined to speak up and let her voice be heard and I am grateful. Thank You Bose, your life was not in vain and I honor you. May one day there be a law to protect people with disabilities, especially women and called Bose's law.

Vweta, thank you for having the courage to document and share Bose's story and bring to light the human right violations for so many. Your honest journalism is appreciated and needed to give voice to stories like Bose. Keep up your good work Vweta.