HOW TO GET RID OF WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK

Wendy Stebbins
Posted February 13, 2019 from United States

All women who join World Pulse amaze me because everyone is insistent on improving themselves and the world around them. It takes courage and little steps. Sometimes there are setbacks but sometimes those are a setup for a future success. It gives us the opportunity to stop, look and listen to what the universe is trying to tell us. It is always a gift.

In the 1980's and '90's I was a national motivational speaker on womens' issues. My monthly newsletter MIND OVER MATTER had the following tips. It is important to remove the roadblocks that inhibit us from reaching our full potential in all areas of our life. I hope the following helps:

1. ELIMINATE THE "SHOULDS". Anytime you say I SHOULD, I HAVE TO, I MUST, I OUGHT TO,it is your hint that you are living off someone else's value. It doesn't feel good. People who do this really don't know who they are. "I should have the neighbors over tonight though I am tired and want to relax.", "I ought to  work late tonight", "I should do the laundry" , "I have to make a decision tonight", "I must drive my son to his friends' house". Likewise, how many people say to you, should, must, have to or ought to. They are trying to push their value onto you and it doesn't feel good. 

You have the obligation to yourself to change and eliminate this to be a fully functioning, authentic person. At least to be aware of what is really happening.

EXERCISE: The next time you say should, must have to or ought to, or someone says that to you, ask yourself "What do I WANT to do?" The want is your internal you, your soul. You can keep doing the "should" if you aren't ready to risk, but at least know what you want, who you really are inside. No one can see it, but you can feel it. 

EXERCISES: Put a sign on your bathroom mirror so you see it first thing every morning when you go in there to do whatever you do first thing in the morning. The sign?  "I WILL NOT SHOULD ON MYSELF TODAY".

2. BALANCE: To have balance, make a commitment to the three areas of your life (work, family, self). Not all will get the same amount of time all the time.

EXERCISE: On a daily basis, take five minutes before you get out of bed to think of all three areas of your life. Decide what one thing you will do in each of those areas. Write it down. 

For example, for my family I decided to call my daughter, Lara, just to say "Hi". For myself, I decided to take a 1/2 hour to go sit by the lake outside my office. For work, I spent time with  my secretary alone to re-evaluate what we are doing and get new ideas from her.

Keep track of this for 10 days. The cumulative effect will astound you. In 10 days you will have done 10 nice things for your family. In a year you will have logged 365 nice specific things for your family and yourself and it didn't take that long. Just a few little steps of change is better than too much because doing too much you won't keep up. But a little thing you do it without even noticing. But it IS noticed in time.

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HOW TO BE MORE CREATIVE BY DEVELOPING THE RIGHT SIDE OF YOUR BRAIN

 

It's no joke when someone tells you "I do my best thinking in the shower/taking a bath." Water, humming, anything mindlessly repetitive creates negative ions in the brain which encourages creativity, new ideas and right brain development. In a world of computers, microwave ovens, texting, appliances, etc, too many positive ions are created which cause stress, drag us down and zap us of positive energy, a relaxed demeanor and creativity. Next time you feel stressed, try sitting by the water, taking a long shower or humming. For me, driving my car or walking in the park does it. I wrote a children's book in my mind walking around a fountain. An attorney told me he came up with the idea that solved a criminal case while taking a shower.

Good luck. Have fun with it. And keep dreaming. Remember a goal is a dream with a deadline. Ubuntu.

 

 

 

Comments 17

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Hello, Wendy,

Thank you for this another great motivational piece! This makes me smile. Thank you for the practical tips, too! It's the small, consistent things we so daily that makes us into better people.

Wendy Stebbins
Apr 23
Apr 23

Karen,
Thank you for the feedback and encouragement. I needed that! You have renewed my sense of responsibility and opportunity. Again, thank you.

Wendy Stebbins

You’re welcome, dear Wendy. I’m happy to hear that. Looking forward to more of your insights!

Wendy Stebbins
May 28
May 28

Hi Karen,

Thanks. I needed that! Haha. I have not been posting because menstruation has been the theme. I have nothing to say about that and didn't want my stuff to seem off target. But now that you have written, I will post something anyway. Thanks for your encouragement, Karen.

Jill Langhus
Feb 14
Feb 14

Hi Wendy,

Thanks for sharing your great tips, especially about the shoulds. No one needs that feeling or energy.

I agree, also, that WP is a great culmination of female humanitarians working toward bettering the world.

Hope you're having a great day!

Wendy Stebbins
Apr 23
Apr 23

As always, thank you Jill. You are much appreciated

Jill Langhus
Apr 23
Apr 23

You're welcome, Wendy:-)

Have a great week!

laison sylvie
Feb 14
Feb 14

You are a genius.

Wendy Stebbins
Apr 23
Apr 23

Thank you, Laison,. I just saw your message. It encourages me to write more. I thought no one was reading my posts. Haha. Thank you again.

Wendy Stebbins

Arya
Feb 25
Feb 25

Thanks for sharing really loved it sister!

Wendy Stebbins
Apr 23
Apr 23

Thank you Arya. It means a lot to hear from you.

Jane Frances Mufua
Mar 06
Mar 06

Hi Wendy
Thanks for sharing this beautiful post

Wendy Stebbins
Apr 23
Apr 23

Thank you, Jane for commenting on my post. You have encouraged me to continue. I hope you will tell us about your life.

Again,

Thank you,..Wendy Stebbins

echo demitrez
Apr 22
Apr 22

eras baws crebba seryutn greewein ilachyuss,

wegyukio lobbern mittweras merctyhu oghyues tawen wera gawn. Teesy wegyuion oolies weyra tern.

erasgyuio myussa teyun deri,
Echo.

Wendy Stebbins
Apr 23
Apr 23

ECHO,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS.

ALSO, YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL NAME

Wendy Stebbins

echo demitrez
Apr 24
Apr 24

hi Wendy,
Much tx for calling my name a gud wan. tyreebyuis tyclion okas jimouyr, I express my thots in Latin Verbatims, coz derna maka feya make me feel comfortable.

Tc

Echo.

Wendy Stebbins
Apr 24
Apr 24

My pleasure. Have a good day.