Reflections for module 2: How powerful your thoughts and beliefs in creating the conditions of your life.

It was the year 2008, that I decided to start afresh. I was a single mother and it had dawned upon me that if I want to do something in my life, I had to take things in my hand for one person I could truly depend on was Myself!

My children and I had a very traumatic life back in Japan and healing never happens overnight. Memories are like old scars and take their own bittersweet time.

And so it happened, instead of keeping those scarred memories locked up inside of me, I decided to vent them out in words. My diary was my way of dealing with all that had happened. I wrote things that I did everyday, but most of the time, It was like I was talking to myself. My diary became a confidant, my book of prayers, meditating about being a good mother and wife; hoping someday I will meet someone who will love my children and me unconditionally.

Returning to the Philipines for good was the best decision of my life. I vowed to be a good mother and that is what I have striven from day one. I have found someone who love me and my family unconditionally. He is my neighbour and we have known each other since elementary school. We have been together for seven years – he love and acceptance has been unconditional. But sad to say, our union is still contentous as the Philipinne government has yet to accept my foreign divorce as there are not state laws on divorce in this country.

I was able to register my divorce in Japan, I was eager to get rid of my ex husbands family name, I went to Philippine embassy in Osaka up to Okinawa to bought back my name and my life. I remember how much money I spent just to get those documents that needed to be translated and needed to be registered in PSA (Philippine Statistics Authority) and DFA (Department of Foreign Affairs). I went back and fort to Philippines and Japan just to make sure of my divorce decree, I went to PAO ( Public Attorneys Office), but PAO doesn’t want to accept my case as it is not as important unlike other cases, I also went to private law firms but they ask too much and I cant afford it, I went to so many free legal consultation but still, I need money to pursue the case. Although I have a bunch of files of documents, I still need to prove that Japan government has a state of law on divorce. So until last year, 2016 as I had a chance to go back to Japan to paint and advocate in Kobe Japan, I got the chance to ask a NPO (Non Profit Organization) and lawyers to help me on that document, I paid 20,000 yen for that document alone.

Same year 2016, I got the document from Japan, and then I went back to the lawyers, my document looks complete, and my problem is how can I pay the lawyers. Its been 9 years and still I cant escape from the terrible marriage I had.

So even though I have been divorced abroad, I am still considered married to my ex-husband in the eyes of the Philipinnes law. There are many women in my community who have been trafficked under the pretext of marriages, which were and are actually fake. These women are suffering the same fate as mine. And to make matters worse, their children with current partners are then deemed illegimate as they are still seen as married to their exes. It costs almost 100, 000 upto 300,000 pesos for annulment or judicial recognition of foreign divorce through a lawyer.

This is one of the many issues I have devoted my life to stand, fight and speak up about the sufferings of many filipino migrants workers.

Cecille Pauline S. Montenegro