Writing down my story is a call to all women of faith and integrity to stand up for the future of our girls and to the need to grow higher and higher and glow with true colors and wholeness from within.

Orit Gutmacher Levy
Posted October 14, 2019 from Israel
My niece, Ma'ayan. ❤️✨
Little me.
Little me. (1/9)

 

Today I know I can lay my heart in my hands, but for so many years I had been outsourcing my need of love, belonging, and appreciation because of my belief that the force that bestows these blessings is outside me and not inside. I wish I could have known that before. No one had ever thought to tell me that powerful fact, and I would like to ask the little girl in me for forgiveness and understanding. My life journey touches this in so many ways, I would like to share my story with you.

 

What’s my story? It started in a beautiful farm town in the Galilee, Israel where I was born and raised in a farming family. The quiet peaceful childhood in the country, immersed in nature and soulfulness, but also with a very traditional, structured way of thinking, being, and doing. The unspoken message was that women have the job of raising a family and the responsibility of cooking, cleaning, and laundry. I followed the rules, helped in the kitchen, did some house cleaning. I do remember struggling inside myself with these messages to be beautiful, be quiet, be framed, but since my family supported this role, I was blocked to any change that was coming from the voices inside me. A lack of appreciation and no support to strengthen my natural artistic abilities led to an insecure feeling and low self-esteem, which affected my life very deeply.

 

As a teenager and a good girl, I was busy studying, putting a lot of my time in schooling. Turning away from my gifts as an artist and designer was the first step in getting pulled away from my path. As a little girl, one of my strongest memories was going to my grandparents’ home on Saturday morning to color coloring books filled with wonderlands of castles and princesses, Indians, dinosaurs and Mickey Mouse. I used to color for hours, immersed in feelings of inner peace, joy, and love. The relaxing, joyful feeling of these moments brought so much love to my inner world. But since I thought I should aim for a profession that would support me as a grown up, I gave up my loves, my passion, my uniqueness. So many beliefs ruled my world and I had no one that would guide me to stay true to myself.

 

When I graduated from high school, I joined the army as a tank instructor. I taught soldiers how to use the tank and various functions. I was very proud of myself. I wanted this job, aimed for it, and got it. Leaving my parents’ home was a very empowering experience, and probably was the building block to my next phase in life, which was leaving my homeland of Israel to learn abroad, at a college in the United States. Yes, I faced many challenges along with this decision and my parents’ resistance, but changing my major from hospitality to multimedia and computer based programs made me fight back hard times and homesickness. This was a very meaningful turning point, the beginning of turning back to my strengths as a child and to my natural true colors glow.

 

After graduating from college, I returned back home to the Galilee, Israel. Facing an unknown future as a young woman whose biological clock was ticking, I wanted to find a good man and settle down, marry, and have my own family, like I was expected. Teaching animation in a college in northern Israel led me to my future husband. Our relationship was loving, but also had arguments that didn’t go away. I married him. I wish I could have had someone to tell me not to.

 

Divorcing him, letting go, and leaving a broken marriage twelve years later was a huge milestone in my life, and a powerful message to the girl inside me. It took me back to my loves, grew confidence to start my own international business, to design and color as a tool for healing my inner world, to love the little girl inside me. Practicing meditation, Yemima, along with coloring and journaling, took me back to my soul, to grow self-love, gain trust in myself, and open me to embrace a creative entrepreneur mindset of growth and goodwill.

 

My life journey led me back to the art that had inspired me as a little girl and gave me a profound sense of happiness and well-being. And as a grown up, once again, I experienced the magic of coloring! This meditative practice, which is a form of art therapy, encouraged me to safely explore my innermost thoughts and feelings through a powerful, silent, non-verbal tender healing process. My art helped me heal my body, mind, and spirit, connected me with my deepest wishes, and brought me home to my soul, my passion, and my purpose. Listening to my heart guided me to create my dream job, revealed my mission and continues to illuminate my destiny in the world. 

 

Writing down my story is a call to all women of faith and integrity to stand up for the future of our girls of all faiths and foster a strong universal sisterhood bond with a worldwide goodwill message of love, goodness, and peace for humankind, nature, earth, and the Universe for future generations. Amen. Healing is an option, be yourself, let’s shine - enlighten our beings with our own true colors. Glow. I’m committed to my soul’s love and to the promise I made to myself, staying loyal to my heart and doing what I love. ♡ My heart wish is to inspire and empower women and girls from all around the world to journey within, discover their deepest wishes, enhance their spiritual growth, heal their minds, bodies, and spirits, make their dreams come true, and create positive, remarkable changes in their lives, their families, their communities, and our world.

 

Faith, Love, and Good Energies,

Orit Gutmacher Levy Owner of Zebratoys & Designer of HALELUYA Sacred Soul Art

 

This story was submitted in response to GirlForce: Unscripted and Unstoppable.

Comments 17

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Jill Langhus
Oct 14
Oct 14

Hello Orit,

Welcome back:-) Wow! Your story resonates so much for me. I also grew up on a farm and also squelched all my creative gifts from a early age and then came back to them when I was unhappy with my administrative assistant job, thinking it was more acceptable and lucrative than pursuing a job in art. I'm so glad you found your way back to yourself and have inner peace and joy. It's so lovely to hear stories like this. I can't wait to see more stories from you and to hear more about your mission and work! Oh, I love all the photos, too, that you shared:-)

I would like to know how you were drawn to be a tank instructor... didn't see that one coming:-)

Hope you're doing well, and having a great day, dear!!

XX

Lisbeth
Oct 15
Oct 15

Dear Orit,
To add a little more to what Sis. Jill said. I like very much your picture gallery. See you :-) lovely.
Thanks for sharing dear.
Regards

maeann
Oct 14
Oct 14

Hi Orit,

Thank you for sharing your story.

I am amazed how you have been keeping yourself strong.

And yes to what you said, "staying loyal to your heart and doing what you love"

Anita Shrestha
Oct 14
Oct 14

Dear Friend
Thank you very much for sharing your story. Keep it continue as well as welcome in WP

baganda
Oct 15
Oct 15

courage

ANJ ANA
Oct 15
Oct 15

Dear Orit,
Thank you for sharing your story. I loved the way you listened to your heart, being loyal to your instincts and being so courageous. You are now unstoppable my sister. Keep it up, have faith in yourself, destiny and success are all yours.
I cherish my days in Israel back in 2010. I was in Haifa for the short course and also visited your beautiful Galilee.
With lots of regards,
anjana

Hello, Orit,

Your story as a child growing up speaks to me in so many levels. Very relatable esp on how to be quiet, beautiful and a good girl but silencing the voice inside our hearts.

Wow! What a beautiful truth you have shared with us here. It affirms on what I am wanting to do on my Firefly Zone organization, to point women back to the light inside her. And to join the rest of the fireflies so together we can bring light to this dark world.

Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it. I want to read more from you. Have you considered writing a memoir? That would be a great project to do, too. Please consider.

Wala Lut
Oct 15
Oct 15

Hi,
I like ur story.
Women always struggle bec.most men are selfish.

Tamarack Verrall
Oct 16
Oct 16

Hello Orit,
What profound messages you have laid out here, the importance of paying attention to our own spirits, knowing ourselves by remembering and honouring our passions and dreams as girls. "My art helped me heal my body, mind, and spirit, connected me with my deepest wishes, and brought me home to my soul". Your whole story here is a work of art.

Marie Abanga
Oct 16
Oct 16

Dear orit,

Soul story or should I say stories of a personal travail through trails and trails all through to YOU. Thanks for sharing and for making that appeal. I resonate some with your story/stories, and like you I am ME today in my all. You stayed for 12 years, that's double how long I tried lol. The essence I get from it all is the lessons and what we do with all that now. Share with the world and try to prepare our young girls so they don't fall in those limiting patterns we grew up in right?
Regards
Marie

Dr Jackie
Oct 18
Oct 18

Dear Orit,
Thank u so much for sharing!.....The journey within is the best thing that can ever happen to anyone especially us women, whose pursuits easily get fashioned by the society around. Within us is the real us. Thank u for speaking up.

Rosylyne Nabaala
Oct 18
Oct 18

Wow! I like this. True let's care for our girls. Thank you so much.

Spiritedsoul
Oct 19
Oct 19

Hello,
Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring and hard touching story. You’re on your path, walk it with gladness, and enjoy.
Hugs,
Jess.

SeemaKhandale
Oct 20
Oct 20

Thanks for sharing your story, Just Keep Going!!!

Maggie P
Oct 24
Oct 24

Hi Orit,
What a beautiful and inspiring piece.
Thank you!
Maggie

Sharon Martini
Oct 25
Oct 25

Thank you for sharing your story. It resonates powerfully with me on many levels.
Blessings!
Sharon

River
Nov 13
Nov 13

What a beautiful story and empowering message of finding your soul’s truth! ❤️