That day Janet (not her real name) had sleepless nights, the memories of her late father molesting her at the age of nine clouded her mind; she hated him for destroying her mind at a very tender age, she hated the fact that her mother was helpless then since her late father was the bread-winner, she hated her poverty-stricken life, she hated to see her mother struggle so hard to raise her school fees, she hated her life.  All this problems must come to an end, Janet thought to herself.

What was she going to do?

Of course at the age of nineteen, Janet was still pretty and on the run which meant she was a fair game for the predators who were willing to cough money to such, of course, at a price.  She admired young girls dressed in expensive looking clothes, six-inch heels, five layers of expensive make-up on their faces and long human hair weaves.  Will I ever get there?  Will I ever have a decent meal like them?  Will my mother ever rest?

Three months down the line, Janet had slept with a rich business man and got herself a new laptop she needed to use in doing her assignments.

Just that and I have earned myself a laptop…… she thought to herself.

With this perception, Janet made it a habit to sleep with rich men for money which she would frequently send her mother back in the village. She felt her life was much simpler as she could obtain whatever she wanted.  Willingly having sex for money, was not, she thought at that time, traumatic.  It became a habit.

A whore, home-wrecker, men manipulator, a slut were insults she got from people who knew of her lifestyle and men she traded with.  This affected her mentally and she would cry herself to sleep waking up to her daily routine.  Janet felt worthless and lost the little self esteem she had.

She was molested several times by a man who was supposed to be the first man she would ever love, her friends called her a whore, some men she slept with for money physically abused her because they saw her as trash, all these made Janet to believe indeed she was a whore and worthless. What people did not know was that, she was hurting;  it was not easy for her to wake up with a complete stranger besides, it was not easy for her as anytime she saw a man bad memories of her child abuse ran through her mind.  Janet was used to negativity that she did not see anything good in herself or others making her go on with her lifestyle.

At the age of twenty two, the worst happened to her, she lost the only relative and friend she knew, the only person who gave her unconditional love, the only person she thought she lived for; her mother.

” Janet my daughter work hard, let no man out there trick you into losing your innocence and principles, remember this cruel world will throw you lemons please, make the best lemonades out of them.”  Her mother’s words kept ringing in her head.

She cried every morning before going to class where she was greeted with a look of disgust by her classmates.  She felt the world was against her, she no longer knew peace.

One day on her way from class she thought, ‘Why don’t I honor my mother’s request by forgiving my late father for molesting me?’

She did just that, day by day she felt better about it and once again found the inner-peace she had been looking for.  Several months down the line she was able to talk to the only person who never forsook her; God.

Janet’s self worth was brought back, the lifestyle she believed to be as a result of a ‘free’ choice came to her realization that it wasn’t.  It was a choice made by a mind damaged by child abuse.

Majority of us are quick to judge whenever we hear of one’s lifestyle of conducting sex-trade. It could be true sex-trading isn’t right, but that does not allow us to insult or treat the doers as sub-humans.  I believe it is very difficult to remain human when every women-hating words, ideals and concepts are placed under your skin until you lose who yourself.

Everyone has a back story (and yes, some are Horrifying).  Given their shoes, most of us wouldn’t fit in them. Pray for them.

To read more go to https://owittijthoughts.wordpress.com/2015/11/29/137/

Feel free to share too.

Baraka!

 

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Thank you, Juliet

You gave me insights into life of those who gave in to prostitutions.  I really encourage you to encourage her to use the computer and start searching what alternatives in life is available.  I myself was at time distitute for all my possesions were taken away but managed to build my life from the ground zero.  It is possible and it can be achievable.  The worst thing in life is to belive in that there is no way out other than enduring to live with very wrong persons who are destroying your life.   If you really have nothing else other than your body, what you want to do is to pray sincerely for wisdom and use your communication.  Communication means to reach out others by means of many digital tools available online.  This has worked for me, so I do encourage you.  I will give you more tips if you are interested.  

Hideko N.

www.swacin.com

Hi Hideko, Im glad you didn't make choices on getting back on your feet. Sometimes what we endure growing up can shape our lives in future, the choice lies within us. As human we are bound to make mistakes, we should therefore seek guidance.

owittijthoughts.wordpress.com

Dear Juliet,

You really spurred me to think about self-worth and judgment as they pertain to prostitution. It's so true that everyone has a back story that we should take the time to learn. Thank you for reminding us to see the full picture of who people are and how histories shape their lives.

Warm regards,

Lisa

Lisa Kislingbury Anderson 

World Pulse Volunteer Coordinator

We have the choice to determine what life to lead irregarless of our circumstances.. should one behave in away that isn't right according to your standards like Janet, the best thing to do is to help them not discriminate. Thanks to you too.

owittijthoughts.wordpress.com

Well, the vulnerabilities that women face pre-dispose them to all kinds of risks including sexual exploitation. But when a woman holds her body with lots of worth, exchanging ones body for any sexual favor stops being an option even in the worst circumstances. I agree that people's expereinces can be very unique and we ften judge because of our own understanding of things. Alot has to do with people;s esteem of themselves.

The struggle continues!

Hi Bernadette, Yes, we all have battles we ate trying to fight. One may not know how they will react should they be in such a situation, until it hits you hard. All the same God's guidance is what we need as prostitution isn't right.

Thanks.

owittijthoughts.wordpress.com

 

Dear Juliet,

You explain so gently, wisely and beautifully the story of Janet, and all she has been through on her journey to trusting, loving and respecting herself. People are so quick to judge and blame women for ways we have chosen, or fallen into, or been forced into, to survive. Even women can be quick to judge. Your story of Janet is a powerful message that can help undo this judging of so many women who have been in similar situations. The unbroken tie between mother and daughter despite the misery both had endured is precious. The description of all of the ways that Janet survived and came into self worth and a peaceful life, can be so helpful to others. "Given their shoes, most of us wouldn’t fit in them". So true. The more real financial alternatives are offered, the faster women will be able to find their way out. The more we share this kind of information, the closer we are to true understanding, and a stronger movement to stop all forms of violence against women and girls. Too many people have become immune to what is going on. She was nine years old!!! I am so glad to read that she made it through.

With love in sisterhood,

Tam

Hi Tam, thank you so much for reading my post. Actually what really inspired me to share this story is the fact that our fellow women are quick to judge even when they know the challenges one can go through as a woman who is naturally vulnerable. Please help me share this message as information is power, lets help each other.

You seem to have confused our names, Juliet is my name.

Once again thank you for taking time to go through this.

Regards, Juliet

owittijthoughts.wordpress.com

Hi Juliet, 

(Thanks for the correction). I so agree that there is much work to be done on how quickly women will judge other women, and I am happy to be able to share your message on this. It is such a powerful example.

Best wishes,

Tam

Dear Juliet,

Thank you for sharing Janet's story and how she was finally able to see she was worth more than how others saw and treated her.  I agree that we are quick to judge those in the sex trade business eventhough alot of us deep down realize there is probably a sad story behind that choice.  I think that the fear of possibly fitting into their shoes also plays a role in that judgement.

Kristina

Thank you for the wisdom to identify a destructive life path, and a heart big enough to understand how people got where they are.  

Baraka!  Baraka!  Baraka!

Baraka to you too Paul. You equally contribute by sharing this to people as I believe it can be of help to one.. It is my joy to let people feel understood.

owittijthoughts.wordpress.com

Juliet,

Wow, the world judges by what we see and rarely does any of us take time to sit and listen. We make our own conclusions and run by them and rarely think that there is more to it than what we see on the surface.

Your piece makes us want to go deeper than the surface.....may we be a people who actually take time to even ask someone how they are really doing!

loved reading it, thank you for sharing!

God bless,

Claudia.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only LOVE can do that. -Martin Luther King Jnr.

Hi Claudia, Yes, we should learn to be kind and pray for each other, so as to avoid making poor choices based on our circumstances. Please share the message.

Baraka!

owittijthoughts.wordpress.com