During my visit at the Regional Hospital in Bamenda I saw a woman who gave me the reason to write this piece. Laying helplessly in her hospital bed, bruised all over and having a blood transfusion, she cursed her mate with her children for beating her up like a snake. Getting interested in the situation I tried to find out what is going on. The woman in bed ( Wanda) had been beaten by her mate (luwain) who got married to their husband 15 years after her victim. Her mate (Luwain) being the second wife according this assaulted woman (Wanda) has no right to any property of their late husband. This is because Luwain came after the assaulted woman (Wanda) had built the empire with her late husband therefore 'the intruder' in that family. The mate (luwain) on her part believes she came into that family as a solution to a problem; giving birth to a male child which she has done, as a result deserve all the man's propeties. The amazing part in all of this is both of them are legally married to their husband.
This got me really worried. How can women fight like this over what they can amicably resolve? Looking at this situation whose fault is it that they have to fight? Who actually has the right over the properties? Is a girl not a child? and many more.
After careful reflection I believe the answer lies in true sisterhood. This means living for and with a fellow woman in sincerity, objectivity, truth and having a personality void of being too emotional than reasonable. If these women were not too emotional, they would realise they are sisters and victims in the circumstance. In addition, if they were not living as rivals they would have made the man who brought them together guarantee their security and comfort since it is their legal right as married women. Furthermore this unresolve issue of who gets what from their late husband's properties can be settled within seconds should they let go of hatred, jealousy and rivalry.
I can go on and on but my interest is to remind every woman out there polygamy is a part of our community. This is practised legally and illegally (having a family, woman or children beside his legal family) by our men which means most women are victims. Uniting our forces as women in fighting to survive in such a milieu is a must for all. If we face the men who practise this in a united manner violence will surely be eradicated. Also only men who can manage two or more women will go in for polygamy.