My Journey

Posted September 16, 2015 from United States

I knew right from the beginning there was something different about me.

This difference was such that at a young age, Iwas told Iwanted to be almost anything that caught my fancy. From age 3 to 11 years old, Ihad wanted to be almost every profession Icame to know; Iwas confident, determined and Ibelieved in me. my self-esteem was a healthy point of reference to other young girls my age whose mother felt their daughters could do better even when they never gave them the reasons to be self worthy.

Then the accident happened and my self-esteem was shredded when the accident left me with a limp from my left leg. At a young age Iwas told Ihad a determination akin to a hunter, Inever believed in impossibilities, until the accident came and Ifound my validation shifted to believe that nobody could love a girl/ woman who is incomplete.

I felt deformed not only by the accident but by myconclusions that Icouldn't be like everybody else. Soon after, the values Iheld in high esteemdropped and Igrew into a sullen, dull, shy and low esteemed attention seeker.

I have a wonderful family filled with love, but then Icould see the pity in their eyes and the blame-sighs my parents gave every time they thought about how the accident happened. I didn't want that, Iwanted them to treat me the same way before the accident, I wanted the same task as before, I wanted no restrictions to what I could do. I needed their protection, yet Ididn't want it. As far as I was concerned I was turned to an invalid before I could become a lady. I couldn't indulge this pity party any longer and so I sought for some sort of validation; someone who could love me without pity, who would believe me without placing the love-pity restrictions. I sought the love, but I got sexually exploited

Looking at my life from the beginning and from where I am,its been a journey of recovery, self-appreciation, and total self makeover. I can now conclude, I am different after all, as the difference is what I am able to do, achieve and become when I started believing in me. A lot of girls around the world, most especially in Africa are indebted to other people’s attention and validation, because they believe they can see the answers to what they can become in other people’s eyes and love.There are so many patriarchy views about what girls can become, so many restrictions that leave girls incapable, incomplete and sometimes clueless to the opportunities available to their greatness.

It took every ounce of will power left in my low esteem state to recover from being exploited to wanting to become the different person I knew I was meant to be. The difference I knew as a girl was the fact that I could do anything, be anything and as Igrew older, wiser, more knowledgeable with my own validation of self-love, acceptance, Idecided I must reach out to girls who are in the process of discovering themselves,and girls who have not discovered themselves to teach them what values is, how to place values on themselves and how to be valued, to also discover purpose and passion and become what they set out to become irrespective of circumstances.

Self esteem is a critical discussion and a part of leadership characteristics for any girl and once the idea, the values, of it is not known, girls are lost in the world and find themselves on the look out for self-definition from anybody, any place and could be hurt, could be exploited, disfigured or maimed for life if not properly handled. With this determination and a new sense of responsibilities, I formed the initiative called Pink Ambition which is an edu-motivational programme for girls (women) to discover themselves, believe in themselves, get more knowledge and be opened to great leadership opportunities for themselves and for others in their communities. I started developing social campaigns to help to buttress this initiatives to meet up with girls to let them understand values, be valued and what to value.

My life has been a journey with the interesting part being the fact that Ieventually came to acknowledge who I am, despite what I am, to become what I can be, and to see how others can become what they can become through self-love, acceptance, determination, passion, consistency and through understanding what Ralph Waldo Emerson said about life, “What is life but the angle of vision? A man is measured by the angle at which he looks at the objects”

I amwhat I am today, because I have looked at “ME” differently and all I can see is the vision to be different and create a difference.

Comments 7

Log in or register to post comments
    Sep 17, 2015
    Sep 17, 2015

    Hi Funke,

      You are such a wonderful  change maker.with somebody like you,the problems of the ladies is half solved.Teaching the young girls of today SELF-ESTEEM is the highest empowerment you can give  to them. Self-Esteem has away of determining one;s life.


    Jane Kalu

  • Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
    Sep 17, 2015
    Sep 17, 2015

    Wow Funmi,

    This is a real inspiring story. You are truly different and very speical, becasue not many people who have gone through an accident can see life with a different lens. I have worked with people with disabilities and people who have gone through worse situations and they are very mean and very bad hearted towards their family members and the community at large. They want to be pitied and treated like they are dying. 

    I believe not matter what happens to us in life, we have to pick up the pieces and make the world a better place. I always believe that we need  people who can talk to these kind of people so that they can understand what they feel and for someone to give them a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Many times we assume that people are okay or that they will be fine but we never really understand what goes on in their hearts.

    I am really inspired by your story becasue many girls are vulnerable espcially when they dont receive love at home, the become prey to those who will take advantage of them.

    You have surely done well my sister. And just as Audrey Hepburn said, "....happy girls are the prettiest girls.."

    What i would like to know is what kind of  programs do have for these girls.

    Well done my sister.  

  • noreez
    Sep 20, 2015
    Sep 20, 2015

    Dear Funmi,

    It is truly wonderful that you have managed to set up an edu-motivational initiative such as Pink Ambition.

    Such as programme is rare and can really help the women in your community.

    Your effort can also inspire others to follow your lead. Wishing you much success with the program.

  • champagne
    Sep 22, 2015
    Sep 22, 2015

    My dear funmi,

    You are a fighter,an amazing woman.I salute with your courage,high self-esteem,determination and how you value yourself as a woman.You didn't let the past or the accident control yourself .Instead those things make you a stronger and better person now.

    You inspired me.You been through a hard way in your life.Yes,being physically incomplete is not easy.No one knows what you are going through but you.People will judge you,talk about you,point fingers,blame you,etc...Do what is in your heart,what makes you happy.Walk your own path.Be your own person.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.While I'm reading your story I felt guilty with myself.I accept sometimes I low down my value as a woman when it comes to love.Because sometimes we think that giving too much love to that person,to the point that we forget ourselves,is a guarantee that they will stay with us or give back that love.Your story make me realized that as a woman we need to value ourselves so that people won't let us down.

    I believe that you can achieve more and inspired more women.Your a wonderful person,have a big heart towards other.I always pray for you dear funmi.Always take care.

    Warm regards,


    Sep 23, 2015
    Sep 23, 2015

    Dear Champagne,

    Thanks for your words, it gladens my heart you read in between the lines to see my heart, thank you friend and sister. Would love to hear more from you. Let's stay connected!

    Sep 28, 2015
    Sep 28, 2015

    Dear Funke,

      I really do appreciate your write ups! and is so encouraging.Knowing who you want to be at a tender age,not accepting impossibility as an answer and remaining focused.These are good qualities of a good leader. I also thank you for PINK AMBITION. Indeed is really difficult this days for girls to know who they are,so many  girls depend on their friends to determine their lifes for the them.Teaching them at a tender age the vatue of a girl child and the important of self esteem  will go a long way to shape their lifes for better tomorrow.I want to ask you these questions.How is The Pink Ambition being funded? do you teach any craft work? .I hope to hear more from you.


    Jane Kalu.

  • Mary Morgan
    Oct 02, 2015
    Oct 02, 2015

    The world is always so quick to let us believe that we are "broken", that our physical or mental difficulties are indications of who we are inside. But you are living proof that isn't true. Your true self shines, and got back up each time you fell down.

    Maya Angelou once said, "Do your best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." I think that is what you are doing every day!