"VOF Week 4: VISION QUEST " 652 Words
There are two ways a woman can live: afraid or unafraid. Fear can wear different faces. It is not necessarily always mortal fear, i.e in extreme cases that too many women are sadly facing, but also smaller fears such what one’s parents will think, one’s brothers will think, one’s husband will think, one’s neighbours will think, one’s society will think, one’s country will think…what the WORLD might think! It is exhausting merely thinking of all the ways women can be subdued under blankets of fear, but how easy it is for it to happen if we ALLOW it. There are always two paths one of resistance & thought & the other which may appear easier & less commanding; often it is the ease that seduces women too afraid to do otherwise. “I have a dream,” a woman thinks..“ but he/she/they won’t approve & so I shall keep my dream buried, sacrifice my own self-growth & always wonder what could have been”.
How encumbered we women are, how the shackles hold us prisoner…of our own minds. I know women who seem to have everything; wealth, family, home & yet they are unhappy & complain about their hidden ambitions & how they will never be content. We make choices. That is the first lesson to learn. Those choices dictate our lives & so our lives are our responsibility, entirely. If you CHOOSE to sacrifice your true self, you have chosen, & you should be aware of that for the sake of your own sanity. I am the motivator for so many of my female friends. They turn to me to ask what they should do in order to feel more alive. “I want to take art lessons”… “ So take them..now..today..this instant,” is my answer, however somehow the Fear always creeps into them. My father-in-law won’t approve, my husband won’t approve. This is making a choice. Don’t make it if you feel you have short-changed yourself. Ultimately, creating new humans by having babies, & fulfilling a prescribed role is not necessarily going to be a cure-all for your demons. You have been given a life, a blessing, use it wisely.
It is not necessary to do something grand either. One small thing that you do just for yourself is one step towards yourself. That is the second lesson: Break out of repetitive self-emolating behaviour in order to rise like a Phoenix. Fear is not our friend. Independence is the key that can unlock many of the doors act as obstacles. I have seen women in remote parts of Pakistan who have nothing start believing they can change their plights & then against all odds actually do so. In Mianwali for example this one lady who was living in a male-dominated village, having to cover herself from head to toe decided to seek out sewing skills. Slowly, she built on this & started selling her clothes. Now, clad in her burkha ( full covering) she travels to the big cities from her village selling her clothes. She has managed to overcome tremendous fears, & become independent. There is no reason for any human to be oppressed, so why should a woman be by her society, culture, family or country?
A myriad women understanding their own desires & harnessing the power to manifest them is my vision, as a correspondent I would have the chance to perpetuate this vision, both by acting as an example by my own choices & by using all I have, words. WorldPulse in particular is a strong platform from which to speak, with its many empowered voices & the vast geographical, cultural & societal net it has succeeded in casting. If one downtrodden woman in any part of the world can read what I write & be moved & inspired I feel my work is complete, but if many can be moved & inspired perhaps it is I who becomes complete.
I too have a personal dream. I have always wanted to travel, talk to women, document their lives, their stories & then share them with the world. I am therefore, facing my own demons & making my own one step forward towards my dream by connecting & writing with women from everywhere, & all walks of life on WorldPulse.
Additional: Dear Ladies, Check out the gumption of the women from Murshidabad...Fearless & Fighting even in the face of the ultimate violence against a woman http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Sunday-TOI/Rural-sisterhood-forms-rin...