Let me be myself

At the age of 14 like many little obscure teen girls Chinkai was thin, very thin. She was very thin with specs and bunny teeth. She was fair with wavy hair. But people around her had so many problems with her bony structure and big specs. Chinkai once told me “you know, if you want to be happy just transfer your problems to others. All the time they do it with me and see how happy they are after discharging their venom. And look at me how grumpy and irritated am I with their venom in me”. I told her that they are insensitive but she smiled the most mischievous one. Later she told me that she had discovered a way to transfer that negativity on her parents. After every volcanic eruption of anger she was to look very dull and sad. Now I know it was the black magic of negativity, how it works. Now I know how societies with their set agendas nurture and transfer that negativity to their muses, people or masses.

Now after twenty long years I met Chinkai again. She was looking healthy and fine. But she was not happy with her health. She told me “look at my tummy….. I cannot wear slim fit jeans any more. Trying hard to reduce but those stubborn fats they are not going to leave me.” I was mesmerized by seeing her transformation. Once she used to eat everything to become fat because people around her were asking her to be fat, chubby and voluptuous like an ideal Indian woman. And now she is controlling her natural cravings for food because magazines and advertisements are asking her to look slim, pigmentation free and super fit all the time. Like every other girl or woman she too has a role model with unattainable beauty from the world of makeup and made up. Often I ask myself by knowing the fact how people can follow and desire those photo shopped plastic beauties.

Any way I invited Chinkai at my place. I played safe to choose the dishes. As I know I am best at Mughlai so I made Biriyani, Korma,Raita and kheer as desert. Chinkai’s first reaction was “Mughlai!! My favourite……….I’ll eat like ogre. Tomorrow I’ll fast. You know how I manage weight.”I was shocked again! Why she is so obsessed with her figure? This time I could not resist myself. “Look, my friend, why, why you are nurturing your figure at the cost of your health? Neither you need to eat like an ogre nor you need to starve like some sages. Why cannot you live a normal life? What matters if your waist is 34 instead of 28? If you are happy, secured with your appearance nothing can take away your beauty. Power of happiness can over shadow your photo shopped models or plastic goddess. Dear, be healthy, strong and happy. Please tone your muscles, strengthen your core and make your digestive system happy and free. Then trek Mountain like wild yaks, ride cycle like untamed horses, swim like dolphins and walk and run like fearless cheetahs. Life is there, freedom is there not here in these glossy magazines or billboards”. After dinner my husband told me that my lecture was good indeed but good lecture cannot change people.

Ten years have passed with ten thousands up and downs. It is cool summer in Himalaya. We, Chinkai and me, are sitting in front of the Chandra Taal or Moon Lake. Our bicycles are catching some breaths like us. It is more than twelve thousands feet, we are at our forties, happy, strong and free from all the man made temptations except some divine temptations like Biriyani, dark chocolate and wine.