I was in peace, I was free

Night. I turned off the computer, got out from the internet chaos and now I was going to sleep, to be with myself, with silence and peace.
The milk-white glimpses of the moon shined through the veil of my room and were brightening my semi-tired face. I tried to sum up my last day, but stopped for a while and understood that I didn’t even have one minute just for a rest during whole day. Job: tasks, achievements, always a feeling of being obligated, tense day. The end of working day, but the feeling of being obligated is not over: social activity, friends, noise, bright streets, crowd. Then I go home: I hardly manage to enjoy the sweetness of my family when the torrent of calls and letters is coming. And so, the rest part of my day is ended with chatting. I don’t complain. I like the way of being busy, my way of being useful for something. But... I don’t manage to look inside and find peace to which I have always walked but didn’t reach wholly.
The next day. I’m sitting in job room, doing my ordinal duties, while out of my window rain is falling so slowly and peacefully that I want to go out without umbrella, stay and enjoy this unusual “sky-waterfall”. Time, instant, which lasts forever. Nothing is compared with this natural phenomenon which brings peace, and I have just forgotten, for instance, about my social role, business, duties, politics, “bloody” news, sin glory, about my victories or routs, about conflicts that have conquered the world destroying human lives , about leadership, projects, struggle for anything. I have forgotten about everything breeding my ambitions but, surely, not my soul. So, in a moment, I became pure, peaceful, and raised my eyes expressing my gratitude to God: I was in peace, I was free...
Peace-conception, for me, which starts from inside, lives in our eyes and is ended in action, in attitude. When we are excited or can’t behave ourselves in crowd, that’s a result of our inner inconvenience. When I feel peace from inside, I’m strong, I am incomplete.
I live in a country which has unsolved conflicts with it’s neighbors. Two closed borders, tense situation, aggression toward each other, news where every day one soldier dies at the border and hate speeches are enough for habitants of these countries to live in stress, in unbalanced psychological conditions. “How to live in peace in conflict zone?”: May be to escape from everything, may be to close eyes and never wake up, may be to devote ourselves to art, as there is a no place for hating. The third one is my choice. I have stopped to watch TV, reading News, that’s why I’m a bad specialist of Media or Foreign Affairs, sorry for leaving my post. Almost two years ago it was my favorite occupation but now I feel there is no Love, Peace and God in diplomacy, news: only blood, war, genocides, tears based on which “peace” treaties are made of.
Yes, it is natural, there would come one day I’d find peace not in my professional achievements or in glory but in loneliness, silence, in simple things like “Hello”, “Let me help you”, tweets of the birds, clank of the river, rain-fall like right now.Yes, I am happy right now as I feel freedom, I feel God, harmony and peace...