My sweet little baby Anita,
You are a very special child when you were brought into this world and there is no one else like you and there will never be another in all of infinity. Always remember that and know that you are perfect. You have the most amazing parents.
As you grow older you will notice the changes in life but most of all, I want you to live your life to the fullest. Yes, life will not be easy but there are things which we really have no control over and we have to leave it to God. You will have your father for only 17 years of your life and I beg that you treat every moment spent with him like gold. He is a loving and very caring man, he has a lot of wisdom in him and he will teach you so much about life and people and most especially, about boys. You will surely enjoy being around your dad because he is so much fun. You will watch all the nice cartoons and he will make the times you share with him very memorable.
In primary school, boys will write you letters and this will make the other kids make fun of you but your dad will hold your hand and tell you that everything is okay. So don’t worry, that phase will come and go.
In your second year of secondary school, you will have a cyst that will grow on the left side of your face and it will have to be operated on because it will affect your speech. Your father will be with you throughout the operation and even after the operation he will be with you. The scar will be very significant on the right side of your face and many people will notice that your right eye will be smaller than the left. This should not affect your self esteem because in God's eyes, and in your parent’s eyes, you are the most beautiful girl that walked this earth. Always remember that there can only one Anita like you and that there will never be another like you.
The year 1997 will be a sad year for you, so you will have to be strong both for yourself and your siblings and mother as well. The beginning of the year will be good because your father will win a rally and you will celebrate. But remember to always tell him how much you love him and how much you appreciate him.
The month of May will always have a landmark in your life because it is the month you celebrate your birthday, but also the month that your father will be taken away from you. He will be taken a day after your birthday. He will celebrate your birthday with you and give you a ring as a gift from him. Hug him and tell him how you truly love him and how you are grateful that he is your father. On the 15th of May 1997 when he is leaving for work and walks past your bedroom door, in your sleepiness walk to him and give a big hug and kiss on the cheek and tell him you love him with all your heart because that is the last time you will see your father.
Life after that will not be easy because you will not have a father figure to guide you in life as a girl and give you all the confidence and esteem that you need but you will turn out just fine. Secondary school will be hard because it will always bring memories of your father coming to school to visit you but you will overcome. You will study hard and make it to University. You will miss Government sponsorship by a few points but that is okay. You are already a success in life. You will go on and read Law, not a course of your choice but it will teach you how to handle life, argue and analyze different scenarios.
At the University you will meet all kinds of people. You will meet those who will always be in your life till your last day. And those who will come in and leave your life without any impact. You will have relationships that break your heart but that is what makes us strong. Don’t let anyone ever bring you down because you are perfect and will always be perfect and if anyone tries to break you, just know they are already broken and want to console themselves that they were able to break another person. With the way I turned out I know you will be a very strong headed girl, who will be very successful in life.
Life is really what you make it, try and maintain your relationships with your friends because they play a very big role in your life, both for networking in the future and also when you need a hug or that shoulder or a talk over coffee.
It is not easy being a first born child but you will make your mother and late father very proud of you. When you graduate from university and go on to Law Development Centre, because of the emotional distress in your love life you will fail two papers and you will have to resit them the following year. But this should not make you any less of a person. Remember these are books that we need to read and pass exams to give us that advantage in life but they don’t make us or break us. Always hold your head high because at the second attempt you will pass and graduate.
After graduation you will hunt for jobs and you will be very unsuccessful. I would advise that you look for charity organizations and do volunteer work so that you gain the experience. Charity work is your passion and you will enjoy doing it. You will have a bad experience working in Law firms so I strongly advice you stick with the charity organizations. I know deep down in your heart you will want a salaried job so that you can start helping your lovely mother but this will not be easy my dearest Anita. Jobs will be hard to find and you will need experience to get a very good job. Don’t listen to people who say they have connections because that wont get you anywhere. You are better off working yourself up the ladder step by step. You will love charity work and will love working with communities that you will one day start an organization of your own and be self employed.
You will meet someone special who will adore you and will have three beautiful and adorable daughters. So my dearest baby Anita you will be very successful in life.
Always look out for your siblings. Remember just like you , they too lost a father and so they too grew up without a father figure in their lives. They grew up with heart break and confused emotions. Don’t judge them but always be there to listen to what they have to say and advise them. You may not always have the answers but being able to listen to someone is very important. Many times give a hug to someone who is hurting even if you don’t know what to say. Many times all someone needs is a hug. I know being a first born everyone thinks you've got it all figured out, but you are just like them, trying to figure things out even if you got a head start. Life is the same, it will have bumps, fences, potholes and dead ends. But that does not mean we sit back and fold our arms.
If you are the same Anita that I know, I know you will jump over those potholes, fences and always make a U-turn when you reach a dead end. The Anita I know will never say NEVER.
I will be here to guide you and hold your hand through the bumps in life but what you should always remember is that you are a blessing and you are unique and no one should ever tell you that you cannot do something. You have the ability and the brain power to do whatever your heart desires and live life to the fullest. Live your life, go out with your friends and laugh as much as you can because laughter is medicine for the soul. Meet up regularly with your friends because you need to invest in their lives so that they can invest in yours. Make sure your children are friends with their children. Spend as much time as you can with your children because they will always treasure those moments.
We shall one day sit and compare notes of the life we led.
How to Get Involved
Encourage the girl child to reach her potential in life. At Sowing Seeds of Tumaini we are encouraging communities to reach out to girls and boost their self esteem from early stage in life.