Lessons I have learnt from my Mother

As we look forward in joyful hope to the global celebration of women’s day, I cannot help but remember the woman who has groomed me into what I am today.  As a mother to three adorable daughters, I have learnt to appreciate what my mother went through grooming, connecting, inspiring and raising us. It was not an easy journey for her; besides her sister here she had no other blood relative she could turn to for advice. She used her maternal instincts to teach us good morals at all times. She is a great woman, a mother of a great nation.

I remember a point in my life where I felt like she didn’t love me enough because I was being punished a lot but now seeing my own kids throw the same tantrums I can relate. My mother’s love for us is immeasurable; from her I learnt what unconditional love means and what it feels like. We are not perfect as human beings and sometimes it takes us a life time to appreciate those around us.

When our father died, my mother sacrificed her life for us, she made sure that we stayed in school and she took on the role of being the father figure as well. With two girls and two boys some in adolescence and some who were just naughty she made sure we were kept in line at all times. She made sure we didn’t experience any lack or had any reason to complain bitterly. My mother is the first born in her family and so she had to set the pace for her siblings, something I never really understood while growing up.  

My mother always told me that as a first born I had to set the pace of excellence at all times and it always bothered me, why me, why couldn’t we set our own paces. And she sat me down one day and told me we are all different and so my siblings needed someone to look up to so that they too could create their own paths. Some sort of self-discovery. At some points of my life I wished I had an elder sibling who could advise and guide me as I found my way, but happily my mother filled that gap.

My mother taught me to be strong and at one point I have become stronger than her. My mother cannot stand me being in pain. I have always had a phobia for needles and I still do, she cannot stand me being pricked or be in the labor ward as I gave birth to my children. At first I was mad with her but then I realized that her love for me was so immense she would not know what to do seeing me in so much pain and not being in control to stop it.

My mother taught me that you need a support system. She lived in a country so far away from home and had to adapt to the way people live, the culture shock alone was enough to set her back. My aunty usually told stories of her ( My aunt) first days in Gayaza high school, she could not speak English and was made to peel matooke.

She was bullied a lot and the food was such a shock to her. One day she challenged the girl that bullied her and that was the day everything changed for her. As sisters in a foreign country they looked out for each other, and their bond grew even stronger than ever. As they led their lives in this foreign country called Uganda at a time of political instability they were able to connect with strong women who became their support system. They have kept friendships for the last 30 years and still reach out to one another.

My friends keep asking me how I make friends almost every day; I guess it is something I have learnt over the years from my mother. My mother’s heart is full of love and she never looks at the bad side of anyone. She believes that we are all not perfect and so we should not judge each other. This is something I am trying to teach my daughters, I only pray that I succeed because the cat fights get worse as the years go by.

I used to have a friend who gave her parents such a hard time. The day she gave birth to her first daughter she apologized to her mother and from that day their relationship grew to amazing heights. Many times we take things for granted and always assume that our parents will always be there no matter what.

 I felt lost when my dad passed away and if not for the intervention of my mother; I would have been completely lost, lonely, poor and lacking in direction. With her I have discovered who I am and she has encouraged me to have my own support system, my friends are her daughters and their children are her grandchildren. We always have our differences in opinions and get upset with each other, but like I said no one is perfect.

 At the end of the day she made the choice to carry me for nine months, at a time when it was so difficult for her. She gave birth to me and made sure I am where I am today. She has showered me with love and showed me the different paths in life and is always there to make sure I aim high and even  when I don’t get it right, she is always there to take that journey with me all over again. What a motherly love!

She is my mother and I love her with all my heart. I always pray for her that God gives her the desires of her heart. Remain Blessed great woman!