How to detect a liar and save your relationships (Avoid tears and develop smiles)

Posted December 7, 2010 from Sweden
Women are often cheated in relationships; let it be her spouse, boy friend, co-workers or friend. I thought of sharing these small tips to guide you in avoiding being betrayed by your loved ones. By sharing a personal experience of mine, I will tell you why learning this can help you to be on the safe side. When I was growing up as a child I was always surrounded by deceit. My childhood best friend lied to me. She was not aware that her lies were obvious to me and it was she who failed to pick up on them, not me. She used to lie to me about being out for parties and not inviting me, ignoring me, and sharing my small secrets with others peers in my class. I still can’t make up my mind as to why she had to lie over minor things. I was confused until we had a communication breakdown brought on by the repeated habitual lies that led us to put an end to our friendship. This revelation was too much for me to handle at a young age. To think of the small sacrifices made for her, secrets being shared and preserved from time to time and only to realize after nine years down the line that our friendships had been a lie, a fake one. I experienced the disaster that small lies could cause when turned into heated arguments and big lies. Then I became very interested in mastering this skill, I started to learn from people whom I meet on a daily basis, professors to ordinary students who are studying with me. I compiled this information to share with you all on what has really being helpful to me in the past, when exploring different realtionships with people.Because let it be the begining of a new relationship with a co worker, friend at university or even with a man to anything I always felt I am aimed at being victimized by betrayels. And the best part of it is I am not anymore going to tolerate any more lies. Believe it or not, for some this may really work, (For me it really does work) for others you can think of new modifications or suggest new ways to detect liars. Basically, by watching little facial and body expressions can help us as individuals to determine the person who is being deceitful. This process of detecting a liar can save you for being a victim of fraud and denial or in finding out when somebody is being honest. Subsequently, you are able to save your relationships as you understand the initial stage of a lie and be able to differentiate between a truth and a lie. 1. Eye contact is a great way that can be easily used to tell whether someone is lying to you or not as the famous phrase goes, eyes can communicate. People who are dishonest, or not quite telling the whole story, will have a hard time to look you in the eye. Examine their eyes to see diluted pupils and unusual blinking. When a person is telling a lie, you will notice that he is avoiding eye contact especially, during a touchy subject. Liars tend to smile, use their phones, and meddle with their jewellery they are wearing unnecessarily. Smile is another great way to detect liars. If he smiles naturally and you notice wrinkles appearing beneath the eye and mouth area he is being genuine with what he is saying. Stammering, a high pitch in the tone, hesitation or pauses is more common in liars. You can detect a lair by changing subjects abruptly. Liars also take an immense delight in having their subjects changed. They try to go ahead with the new subject, but an innocent person will look confused and will want to finish the previous subject. Always remember that liars tend to prove their innocent while those who are innocent will be angry of being accused. 2. One of the most common ways to identify a liar is by paying attention to their body movements. Fidgeting that includes rubbing the forehead, chin, ear, temple or biting lips and covering the mouth are very common among liars. Their bodies appear to be frozen with limited movements. They find it difficult to be at ease or share a sense of humour. He may find it difficult to sit in front of you and turn it towards another direction from you. If you have a hard time reading their stiff, limited body movements, repeat the questions. If they were lying, each time you ask them the question, you can expect for a different answer and movement. If you can see that the details provided does not make sense or may not match with the previous statements, they are probably lying to you. They may sit straight, or change a position once they are been questioned on something that they do not want to answer. 3. It is obvious that if someone does not show the appropriate emotion that goes with the story he is relating to you, you are probably dealing with a liar. An emotion should be expressed along with the statements you make and not after or before you make them. You can easily detect a lair by asking a few questions that he is going to be very genuine with. For instance, you can ask his name, age, family, or hobby. This gives you the opportunity to identify his natural, true gestures to your questions. It is a good idea to keep a track of these movements made by him to refer to in the future. Now, it is time for you to ask those sensitive bits of the story, you believe he is going to lie to you about. Afterwards, you can identify the truth by looking at the difference of his responses to your questions. Now that you realize you can know when someone is telling you a lie. It is vital in keeping an open mind when conversing with people, even loved ones, to spot signs of lying. Consecutively, these techniques when mastered by you can help you to identify lies at an initial stage before they are developed to destroy relationships. According to a website, Henry Mencken states that “it is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.” Every one of us is enticed to lie by nature just as my friend who lied to me in my childhood. However, it is important to bear in mind that lies should not be tolerated at any cost by anyone that would encourage those who lie to be dishonest at all times. By being aware of these simple steps in detecting a liar will make people refrain from lying to you as they know they will be caught if they are found guilty. In fact, you can avoid most of the issues you deal with on a daily basis if you master this technique.

In my future journals I will share with you why I hate lies, and how women can be often cheated by people around them. This may sound typical and not significant to most, However, end of the day this is the root cause to many problem we face at work to homes. Just think for a minute!

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