"The story of my life"

Boafo Helpful
Posted May 23, 2018 from Ghana

Am the first child of my parents ten (10) children. I got married at age 23 years old. Before I got married I completed my high school and  was working. At the same time doing my part time diploma at the federal polytechnic. The following year after our marriage my husband said he is going to school for his degree programmes. But has to removed me from school where I'm doing my diploma because I was pregnant with our first child. And the state or region where he is going for his studies was far from our region. As such we have to be together. I agreed with the mind set of being submissive at the expense of loosing my studies plus my job. Years pass by, we had three children. He has completed his degree and started working. However, something went wrong. My husband refused to allow me go back to school. He does not take care of me and children as expected. I pleaded with him to allow me go back to school because that was the promise he made to me and my parents before our wedding. It was a struggle. But I went back to school to do my diploma in religious studies with the help of a missionary. After I completed my diploma. I enrolled for National Teacher's Certificate Of Education(NCE) with the help of  few individuals who insisted that he should allowed me to go back to school. I went back to the place of my work after I completed my (NCE). And they accepted me quite okay.I was doing well, assisting my siblings, kids, myself and parents. This man (my husband) visited me and children around December 20002 at the place of my work as it were for a man to visit his family. On his visit he discovered that his brothers who are well matured of which some of them where 52--56 years old with their families were not feeding well. He then  asked me to give him out of my farm products to feed his brothers families. I told him I have a plan of starting a business which is why I decided to go to farm that year so that I can support myself with kids since he is far away from us. His place if work is more than (7) seven hours journey drive with a car from where I reside with children. Beside, his brothers and their wives with children are older enough than me to work and feed their families. He visited one of his elder brother's house the following day morning. I don't know what they have discussed. But immediately after his returned from his brother's house that day. He started insulting me with all sorts of names and things, telling me that "Blood is ticker than water"  that im a stranger into their famiky. And im nothing bu ordinary woman with no hope. that im his poroperty. That  he would take out of my farm products to feeds his brothers families by force. He beat me up that night after I tried resisting him. He Destroyed my kneecap with beating. All over MY body was swollen because of beating. I couldn't run to my parents to complain. Because my mother always told me that, women are men's property. That if I dare return to our house ( my father's home) after my wedding just because of what my husband beat me up.She would team up my male siblings to send me back to where am coming from. As such I remained in my agonies without sharing with anyone what I was going through. In 2007, he got admission to do his master degree. Leaving the burden of kids on me. In 2002, I applied to do my degree. Luckily enough I was given an in service, study with pay. Although my salary was not enough for my school fees, kids fees and the rest. Yet God has been faithful to me.In 2012, he got admission to study abroad. That was before my graduation from the university. I was left with the burden of single parenting.Even when he was with us he never cared about my welfare with kids, talk less more after he goes abroad. I advised not to go abroad for his studies especially now that we had six (6) kids. But he refused to listen to me. After he left I became sick to the extent of placing me on oxygen for good two weeks in an emergency word due to complications of my health. Not only that, he deceptively removed ne from the place of my work. That he would be sending me feeding money with kids.since he is doing job while schooling abroad. He said being that my leg is not good. Heavy work is not goid for me. I believed him. Not knowing that, it was a fabricated liars. Meanwhile,unknowingly to me. My leg kept becoming more complicated due to the kneecap that has been destroyed and is no longer there. I developed chronic ulcer. Whenever he comes home from abroad, he would not have sex with me. For good two years now I never had any sex. And I can count how many times we had sex within  these seven years plus since he left. I cannot understand why my fellow human being could treat me this way?

Please, women I need your assistance. I have been given five admissions last year to further my education. But he refused to assist me. I cannot do hard farm work like before. But I can use my brain and hands to touch lives. I needs your assistance. If there's anyone who have knowledge of how to apply for scholarship. I will be glad.I'M home without doing anything. I have been given several admissions with scholarship but he denied me right  of furthering my studies. That am just a house wife, that women belong to the kitchen. The worse of it all my health is bad because no medications or check up. If I work or walk or treck, my kneecap becomes stiff and swollen. I can't help myself. The burden of children have been on me on alone for good seven years plus now. I had been sentence to the life that is not mine. If only I get scholarship, I want to study peacemaking with concentration on children and women rights. I want to become an advocate. I will be glad also if there's any scholarship on Human Right or Gender Equality.

 

Thanks so much

Boafa Helpful.

 

 

This post was submitted in response to Share Your Story On Any Topic.

Comments 20

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Olutosin
May 23
May 23

Hello Boago welcome here. There is a page on Resource here on Worldpulse. That is where I got most of the information that I utilized for accessing training abroad. Please check it out.
Also there is a website called Fundsforngo, they always post available opportunities too.
All the best dear sister.

Boafo Helpful
May 23
May 23

Aww...Olutosin, nice meeting you my dear sister. Trust you are doing well. I will check it right away dear. Please if you know any way of assisting me do so. I'm 45 years old, but I'm not ashamed of going back to further my studies because that is the only hope left for my life. Thank so much please. God bless you.

Boafa Helpful

Boafo Helpful
May 23
May 23

Please what is the name of the resources page on worldpulse. Sorry I forgot to ask you in my first reply

May 28
May 28
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jlanghus
May 23
May 23

Hi Boafo. Thanks for sharing your vulnerable story on getting your education and raising your children despite the obstacles. Good luck on your additional training and advocacy plans. This is the page that Olutosin is referring to on World Pulse that could help you out:
https://www.worldpulse.com/en/my-pulse/resources

Also, I believe this university has free online courses: https://philanthropyu.org/

Keep us posted on your progress and successes!

Boafo Helpful
May 23
May 23

Waw, what a loving community I had been missing ALL this while. I was a shame to share my suffering. Not knowing that I have a precious family here.
Sister Jlanghus, nice meeting you. Thanks so much for your concern, I'm much grateful for your love

jlanghus
May 23
May 23

Yes, it is! There is no better time than the present:) I'm glad you are sharing your story with us now. There is power in speaking up and also in a supportive, global sisterhood. There is no need to be ashamed here. There is no judgment. Only love and support. It's nice to meet you, too. You're very welcome.

Boafo Helpful
May 23
May 23

Thank you my sister. I have been given admission here in Ghana to study migration and gender equality. But I don't know on how to go about commonwealth's or any other scholarship. Please if you know if any let me know as you did assist me with. Much grateful

jlanghus
May 24
May 24

You're welcome:) I'm not aware of any scholarships at the moment, but there are periodically scholarship opportunities on the "Resources" page. Maybe you could learn new, free skills while you're searching for a scholarship, though?!

Boafa Helpful
May 28
May 28

Greetings to you Jill, sorry I couldn't get back to you on time. Thanks so much please. But please do you train people?

jlanghus
May 28
May 28

Hi there. You got a new profile? I don't train people. Sorry.

Boafa Helpful
May 28
May 28

Yes, I was have problems with my hahoo mail. Okay, thanks

jlanghus
May 28
May 28

Oh, I see:( You're welcome. Have a good day!

May 29
May 29
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May 28
May 28
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Boafa Helpful
May 28
May 28

Amen, and you too

Olutosin
May 28
May 28
May 29
May 29
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May 28
May 28
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May 28
May 28
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