Campaign Update

HAZARD OF BEING A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACTIVIST

Obisakin Busayo
Posted March 20, 2018 from Nigeria
MY VIOLATED ROOM

It was exactly eight weeks ago when a young entered my office that she was directed to me by her friend that I could her solve her problem. What was her problem? She unknowingly got married to drug addict and a thief and he has been abusing her for the past 9 years. She looked so tired, fed up with life and so scared. I immediately swung into as I normally do went to the police station to report the case and the husband was invited immediately. He was even a very known person in the police station due to his several cases of theft. At the end of the case, the young woman divorced him and was granted the custody of her children.

Several times after this the man would come to my office begging that he wanted his wife back and I always told him that Your wife said she was no more interested in the marriage, why don't you forget about her and move on with your life. The last time he came, he said he knew if I convinced his wife to come back to him, his wife will listen to me but I told him I cannot do that because his wife has the right to live her life the way she want it and that I don't have any right to ask her to stay in an abusive marriage. After begging for several hours he left my office feeling very bitter that I was the one that took his wife away from him.

One week after her visit to my office a month ago, my office was burgled. Out of 10 offices in our block, it was only my office that was burgled. Everybody at my place of work were surprised because for many years that offices have been there, my own was the first case. I reported to the security and my office was placed under surveillance. Three weeks after this, we went to church and cane back to find that our home has been burgled. My room was violated in a way that I never imagine in my life. We have reported the case to the police but I know our police are not very reliable which means I need to have a personal security which is very expensive.

The way my bedroom was ransacked, I felt violated, I felt stripped and I know my life could be in danger. I need to put in place a personal security. This is the hazards we face as activist against domestic violence. Even friends were blaming me that I should have left the woman alone with her problem but I cannot ddo that and this will not stop me from helping more women. Violence against women must be eradicated in our society.

Please support us to continue to help victims of sexual violence, domestic violence and all forms of gender based violence. We need more equipment in our vocational school and we need to establish our "Agency and Digital Empowerment Theater" (ADET) for survivors of Gender Based Violence to develop their agency and become economically empowered

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12

Comments 15

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Olutosin
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018

God Almighty will protect you and your family. We fight other peoples battle, God will fight for us. E Ku ise sister mi, God Almighty will replenish you abundantly. Amen. E pele. Olorun a FI ofo Ra Emi. I feel you oooo

Obisakin Busayo
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018

Amen my sister! Thank you for your supports

jlanghus
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018

Hi Busayo. Thanks for sharing your sad story. I love that you were able to help the young women, but it's unfortunate that you have had to pay such a heavy price for helping her:-( Does he know where she and their children live? Do they have such a thing as a restraining order there, or it isn't helping? Yes, you can't stop helping women, but it does seem like there should be a better way to protect yourself. It sounds like you will need to either have a security system and/or set up a neighborhood watch, and have people continuously looking out for you, which isn't a bad idea. I hope you already have that in place?! For your funding needs, did you see the WP "Resource" page about the application for the "Young Women Transformation Prize?" You should definitely apply:https://www.worldpulse.com/en/community/users/mfgates/resources/84216!

Obisakin Busayo
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018

Dear jill

I am so sorry that I am replying your comment very late, I am just able to borrow a laptop from a friend and my mail has piled up since I lost my system. Thank you for concern, the problem actually is our security system, the police are not always ready to do their job. He does not know where the woman is presently and I also have been able to put some security measures in place through the help of few friends. I will check on the transformation prize and see I can meet up with the deadline. 

Thank you

Love

Busayo

jlanghus
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018

Hi Busayo. No problem. I'm sure you are busy:) Okay. Good luck on your prize application. Please keep us posted on your security system.

Tamarack Verrall
Mar 24, 2018
Mar 24, 2018

Dear Busayo,

This is the serious backlash that courageous and outspoken women face, and there needs to be a strong support network in place so that we can all help out to be there for each other in whatever ways we can. I hope that your post, laying out the reality, will encourage all WorldPulse members who can, to create funding circles in our own countries as support networks, ready to be sent when and where needed, especially in countries, and areas of countries, where police and government are not willing to come forward with support. I hope also to see us become effective in pressing our own governments who do business with unsupportive governments, to hold all governments and police accountable to women in every country who have experienced violence, and who are working to get women free of violence. May you stay safe, and may you have these new essential protections in place as quickly as possible.

Much love,

Tam

Obisakin Busayo
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018

Dear Tam,

thank you so much for your comment and your support, I am replying this late because I lost my laptop to the burglars. I am looking forward seriously to the time we can have a powerful network round the world especially those of working on gender based violence. It can be so challenging and overwhelming at times especially when one is working in an environment that security operators are reluctant in doing their jobs. Thank you so much and please expect my mail in your box soon

Thank you

Love

Busayo 

Rahmana Karuna
Apr 02, 2018
Apr 02, 2018

Dearest OBISAKIN BUSAYO, thank you for sharing this story. unfortunately it is all too uncommon for anyone, let alone a woman!, stand up for a woman against an abuser. For some of us it seems to be in our nature to speak up, stand up, resist and persist!!! Yes, they want to scare you. We must remember to walk forward with love and not run in fear. Hugs and tears, Rahmana

Obisakin Busayo
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018

Thank you Rahmana for your encouragement and love, we must move on, we must not look back. It is part of life and the hazard of the calling.

Hugs

Busayo

Valéria Barbosa
Apr 03, 2018
Apr 03, 2018

1194/5000

Dear sister, I sympathize with your story and ask God to free you from the rancor of the aggressor. Working with human rights causes, among them Domestic Violence is very risky and seeking protection requires financial resources and good will in the exercise of public security. In Brazil it is not very different the professional the risk is constant. I worked for 10 years with families that victimized their children and often went to the police station, Juvenile Court, hospitals, shelters, in the end it was hard work where the team was formed by multiprofessionals. We served in an Association of Residents - in the City of God favela of Rio de Janeiro. Today we are going through an intense mourning because of the execution of Marielle Franco, councilwoman, human rights activist. Twenty days after its execution without any resolution from the authorities, the investigations were not concluded. Baby, always look for companionship in your office, protecting yourself is the best action for you to continue working with this phenomenon of violence. I wish much protection on your journey. Congratulations on your much-needed work with women and their children. Hugs.

Obisakin Busayo
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018

Thank you so much my dear Sister, the struggle continues and victory is certain! I really appreciate your love

Love

Busayo

Loreen Meda
Apr 09, 2018
Apr 09, 2018

I hope you are safe and that police will do their jobs.  Sometimes family advise us out of love not understand that our mandate is larger than life . You were made to protect and to fight.  Continue to fight my sister, I won't pretend to understand .

Please know that you are in my prayers .

Obisakin Busayo
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018

Thank you my sister, just keep praying for me. The police are not willing at all to do their job but I have put some security measures in place to present reoccurrence.

Love

Busayo

sarah_2
May 05, 2018
May 05, 2018

Hmmmmmm........More grace to you sis Busayo.

The task ahead is so challenging, but we must keep pressing to achieve our goals.

I pray that God will help us.(Especially for people like me that are just queuing in).

Take care

SARAH

AbdulRaheem Dirisu
May 07, 2018
May 07, 2018

So sorry,I have a bitter experience and story like that of Abuse and early marriage for a young lady in Keffi, Nasarawa State.The early marriage was done for exchange of family contract.Its got to the extend that the Husband wanted the use the younggirl virginity to renew his power and be his wife because he was concern of the virginity.When I was approached,based on my job experience,I applied it and act undercover to protect and  help the lady to divorce her corrugated marriage.To the extend that all top men in Keffi rejected the lady,even she was force out of Nasarawa State University for 2yrs,she was sent packing out of home,even family/friend home to frustrate her.The ringing question they keep asking her"who is helping her and given her all the courage to fighting us,Even reporting at Human right Commission ,they have insider in all division.Its was tough,the perils was 95%,If they know i was behind all the divorce,sincerely am very sure they will come after me.To be a change maker and not compromising any task of doing your duty is huge risk.