BREAKING THE SILENCE SURROUNDING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

Every woman voice has the right to be heard. How can the voices of the women in the remote villages be heard? How can the voices of illiterates be heard? She has no education and so unable to have access to internet, unable to use mobile phone except to call her friends and family. These are questions that keep bothering the mind of grass root women human right activists.

Silence is an active and living component of Nigerian culture. Silence, as pertaining to Nigerian women is a sign of surrender because she feels she can never win the battle. She is beaten black and blue by her husband yet she should accept it and keep quiet. Any attempt to raise her voice on this is seen as exposing and disgracing her husband, which is a taboo.

When extended the family insists that her daughter’s genital organ must be mutilated, she has no right to raise any objection against this; and she would even be the one to carry her daughter to the slaughter’s lamb for her daughter to be mutilated in serious pain (due to absence of the use of any anesthesia).

She could just be called to the family meeting one day by the family elders to be informed of the decision to give her daughter out in marriage to a chief that is a friend of the family. Despite the wide age difference between the chief and her daughter and the fact that her daughter is just 16 years old and supposed to be in school, both the mother and daughter have no say in the matter. It has to be the decision of the elders.

Despite the hues and cries all over world on violence against women, and because of the prevalence of silence in the African culture, women clam-up and continue to suffer in silence.

Poverty is another serious issue, African women work a lot but earn very little. As far as the culture is concern, she works and the husband spends the money. This husband could decide to spend the money on alcohol, women concubines and yet the woman who earns the money and her children will be wallowing in hunger.

There is an outrageous rate of violence against women globally and in Nigeria; the lack of justice in addressing the cases of violence and their prosecution has caused an atrocious growth in violence against women. Few women who dare to seek justice would be denied of it out rightly because 90% of judges are men who may have been involved in women abuse one time or the other. In Nigeria out of the 109 seats at the Senate, there are only 7 women. In the house of representative where there are 354 seats, we only have 24 women. A Yoruba proverb says “you are not present at a gathering and you are asking them how they shared resources”. Women are not on ground at all in the places where policies are made and resources are allocated, how then can their interests be protected?

A high rate of violence against women denies then access to and participation in educational, economical, social and political opportunities which in turn causes them to be classified as the isolated and disadvantaged group. Not only does the violence against women result in various sorts of mental and physical harms to women, but also it causes social damage and behavioural disorders which may also be transmitted to their next generations. Moreover, the low levels of women awareness and lack of access to justice have tremendously contributed to the increase in the acts of violence against women.

Hear The voices of some Nigerian women; \"My husband beats me black and blue at any opportunity, yet when the elders come to settle our quarrel, I am always instructed to keep quiet that they only need to hear from my husband\" Adeola said. After one of such beatings, I was admitted to the hospital for two weeks for treatment. \"

“I took the loan to buy a car and built our house. We were almost finishing the building of the house when my husband died. I was accused of killing him and the car was taken away from me and the children by my late husband’s family. It took serious efforts of my friends before I was able to secure our uncompleted house where I am living now with my children because we could not afford to pay house rent again. Now we need to trek 30 minutes before getting Taxi to my place of work and the children’s school every day\" Eunice a widow said.

A female genital Mutilator when interviewed in January said, \"We will continue to mutilate our daughters, that is how our forefathers taught us\"

Out of every 10 girls in Nigeria, eight would have been be mutilated. Out of every 5 women in Nigeria, 3 would have experience sexual violence in her life at one time or the other. Even fathers rape their daughters with the superstitious belief that it makes them live long.

20% of teenage girls drop out of schools in Nigeria as a result of unwanted pregnancy, child marriage, sexual violence and deceit of human traffickers promising these girls of greener pastures not knowing that they are luring them into absolute poverty, destructions and life as sex slaves. An unwanted pregnancy, HIV/AIDS infections, child marriage can quickly drop a girl into the dungeon of absolute poverty without a way out in Nigeria.

What is the solution? Women and girls need the magnetic power of vision. Without a compelling vision, most people will naturally focus their mind on their fears, and insecurities, problems, and setbacks. With an invitation to create a vision of what is possible, the imagination is opened up and out spill many more possibilities. “People have to be seen as being actively involved, given the opportunity in shaping their own destiny and not just as passive recipients of the fruits of cunning development programs” –Amartya Sen, Nobel Laureate

Bandura also in his exploration of the question; “How can a personal agency be increased?” came up to the conclusion that; “if a person’s efficacy is strong, then they are more willing to take actions to change the conditions of their lives for the better”. This is what Imagine Empowerment Workshop developed by David Gershon and Gail Straub of Empowerment Institute School of Transformation is all about. The few women and girls that have had the opportunity of being part of the workshop are now making good decisions for their lives. Here the affirmation of some of them after attending the workshops;

“No matter the challenges I will encounter on the way, I will never give up, I have made it and I am great in my generation” Comfort said.

“I am a leader in my generation” says Grace

“I am a shining star in my business” says Victoria

“I will be ruling now, I will not be ruled over again” says Ajoke

How then can we increase the voices of women globally and in Nigeria?

The affordability and accessibility of radio provides an opportunity to mobilize women’s voices. Recently I run two successful radio campaigns, and I observed that traditional radio continues to be the cheapest and most accessible form of media in this part of the world.

It provides a means to communicate with populations not reached by other forms of media, including the 781 million adults worldwide who are illiterate. Radio continues to offer a powerful platform for women’s empowerment and social change messaging. \"Women’s eyes are open to their rights.\" They have the opportunity to phone in to give their opinions on the issues that concern them.

Through the radio program, we were able to raise the public awareness about and providing information on the various forms of violence against women in Nigeria, empower women in seeking justice and also draw the attention of our Justice and Legal Institutions into prosecuting the cases of violence against women.

After each of the radio campaigns we organized, there were serious awareness among women of all classes and the two radio campaign have added more than 250 members to Women Inspiration Development Center, an NGO I founded that is working with women and girls.

There should also be support group center in form of gender based violence desk which should be constituted in communities for victims and survivors of violence. These support centers will provide women and female youth in the community with support services, and create avenue for their economic empowerments and help them claim and access their rights.

Access to internet is access to life itself: to achieve gender equality and women digital inclusion, internet must be affordable and accessible to women in regard of their class, level of education and where they are. As a result of the radio program we organized and sponsored by World Wide Web foundation on the Web We Want, key things that came up which we need to address as a matter of urgency if gender equility is going to be a reality are:-

1. That majority of the world’s population, especially women and girls, are currently excluded from the web global conversations. The reasons for this according to the discussants at the radio phone-in program are poverty, lack of education, lack of awareness on the benefits of internet, and lack of safe place to access internet


2. That online empowerment can lead to offline empowerment for women and girls. The discussants after listening to the story of Busayo; The founder of Women Inspiration Development Center, unanimously agreed that it is imperative for all females to receive online empowerment. The internet could help women to achieve their goals, widen their knowledge, boost their income, get a job, start a new business and get virtual learning tools for victim of gender violence, early marriage and teenage pregnancies.


3. That women and girls should be encouraged to join a social media where they could access information and also raise their voices on whatever challenges that are facing them. They should be encouraged to join women communities online to be part of female discussions and opinions round the world.


4. That affordable internet should be brought to the door step of every home. This is because women are the one that take care of their family, they are always very busy and so to create time to go and visit a café always may be difficult for them. Therefore, if women could access internet right in their homes, it will help more women to be part of the global discussions.

Finally, grass root activists and organizations should be strengthened maximally. They are the one that are closer to the women down there. They can easily identify their needs and ways of meeting them. They should have access to fund without tears but should also be monitored to use the fund rightly.

I will also end by saying that the voice of every woman matters for us to move forward in achieving gender equality. When you hear from the horse’s mouth, you know where their shoes are pinching them and then you can apply a balm to relieve the pain. Women are the solution to the world problem and they must be encouraged to maximize their well endowed potentials from the universe.