An American without support from the government for income, insurance, shelter or survival

This is what I wrote to a friend I met at a seekers of refuge retreat at Hollyhock, BC, she shared that she made huge changes in the last two months

Without a brain to depend on, how will I have what I need to survive when support ends March 2010. I ask the universe how I may take glorious care of me each day. Today I heard Lisa Hannigan perform for free at a local music shop… her voice otherworldly and mesmerizing. For almost 3 years I’ve lived by presence and a connection to spirit. Even though, I can’t see what possibly could be a source of income for me, I allow what needs to die so that life ahead may emerge. My son, now 10, without fear or worry, reassures me that his needs will be met by his Dad and he will go where taking care of him is not a strain on anyone. My Mom is in a relationship that doesn’t allow her to have an open door for me to find shelter. My Dad in Missouri said I could come there. I asked the man I’d spent the last 4 years with if I could move in with him and he said “no”. I’m keeping all possibilities open for an outcome that is the best for all of us involved. So with no insurance, no income and no where to live where my child does, at times I consider a karma yogi service and wonder if being away will allow my son to exist in one place with one set of beliefs and one way of being. Possibly I’ll sell all my stuff, get in my car and see where life takes me and where I belong. I learned how to de-activate a brain injury, to not live with a suffering mind; I gained the freedom in not knowing and ride the edge of bliss and fear. I choose miracles over grievances every time. When I finally give in to the fact that I can not help me and ask God to do that is when I am able to see beyond my knowing and thrive.