What do they take us for?

Christina Doe
Posted September 28, 2010 from Liberia

Violence against women is a crime that should be PUNISHED .The story am about to share is about myself. I come from a poor background as my mother had seven children first five girls she was told that she had no place till a male child was born apart from my father’s outside children. My mother and father separated when I was a kid. I saw the struggle my mother underwent in the hand of my step-father; we all grew up hating him. Apart from the several beatings we received, the verbal abuses were unbearable we were always told that we would amount to nothing in life, it was so frequent so much though we are all grownups but remember every bit of it. There are two instances I remember vividly; one my elder sister got pregnant at the age of sixteen and my step father beat her at the point of death, it was God that saved her. She had twins one died at birth and the other live but was retarded and later died. That was about twenty years ago my sister has not forgotten that. The other thing I remember is that I always ran to the toilet whenever I saw or heard his voice, honestly speaking till today I don’t know how it happened but I always had running stomach when my stepfather was around. One day he was beating my mother and he put her head on the wall and was about to blow her and she dodged the blow and he broke his hand till today that hand is not straight .The abuse went as far as my stepfather bringing his lover at our house and my mother would leave the room for he and his girlfriend to sleep. Unfortunately for us we lost our mother during the civil war in my country while our biological father was also killed. The abuses I suffered as a child did not stop there; I grew up in exile and entered a relationship with this guy. I stayed in this relationship for seven years. This was another era of abuse in my life. I, as a human being was not allowed to express my anger only because I was constantly reminded of where I was taken from. This is the story, whiles in exile I completed my secondary school and was working as a house help for my upkeep. A friend of my boss and I fell in love and I moved over to his place and he took care of me as far as certain needs were concerned. He had all the money but could never sent me to school, reason was that my parents should have don’t that, I was not allow to go to the salon, someone had to come at my house to do my hair, reason was that someone better than him may see me when I caught him cheating I should keep quiet, reason: I should be happy that am not a house help anymore, and I have decent place to sleep and clothes to were. I was not allow to have friends, but all the time I stayed with him he had two kids outside and named one after me. At that point I knew that he could one day kill me I didn’t even mentioned the beatings I got. I ran away from that relationship and had to go through a time of healing, which took me years. Now I am happy married, with a son and going to school. If we don’t stand up for what is ours, no one will do it for us.


Comments 3

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  • Vivian Emesowum
    Sep 28, 2010
    Sep 28, 2010

    My dear Christy, your story is sympathetic and interesting. You have have a good experience of what gender violence is all about and am sure what you pass through will strengthen you in life. It will make you strong. Am happy that now you are married and have a child, this is to show you that your future will be better that your past.

    Forget the past my dear and be happy and plan for your future.


  • Christina Doe
    Sep 29, 2010
    Sep 29, 2010

    Thanks Vivian, life is like a stage, when the time comes to play a role you do it and move on to the next. I am most thankful to the Almighty for the chance to narrate my story. There are many that may not live to tell theirs. We should let our voices be heard and through that others may be set free.

  • MichelleRAllred
    Oct 08, 2010
    Oct 08, 2010

    Thank you for sharing your story. You have amazing strength and I am happy to hear that you are finally getting to do what you want by going to school. You are right that if we don't stand up for ourselves and what we want no one is going to do it for us. Thanks again for sharing.

    Sincerely, Michelle