ABUSE

The world we live in has been unfair to women. Women are abused and harassed on a daily basis by men they trust and respect: fathers, uncles, cousins and brothers, pastors.

When I was 16, our parish priest impregnated my friend and then gave her money for an abortion. I held her hand and watched the D&C. I am scarred for life. My friend who didn't know better was hopelessly in love with this sick man; she was heartbroken because he immediately discarded her after this. He tried to make passes at me. I immediately reported to my mother, she was furious but still hushed me. Nobody could know about this, she told me. I was hurt; who would believe me above the priest: the reverred one, the public one, the one people confessed their sins to. I had to let it go!

But something became clear to me- women are always silenced; to speak, would be to be labelled a liar, a whore etc.

Someone reports a case of rape; people start asking, "what were you wearing", "what were you doing there", etc. Rape somehow becomes your fault. Was it my fault when my uncle came into my room and lifted my dress as I slept?
Don't tell me men are visual creatures. We all have eyes, we are all visual. Does my cleavage bother you? Look away, you are not an animal. Do my well covered curves in jeans disturb you? Walk away because you are not an uncontrollable animal in the wild!

Does my willingness to go on a date with you mean I'm asking to be drugged and raped?
When you come out with only a pair of shorts, I am visual also and your chest bothers me, so I look away. I see your strong masculine legs and I find them appealing because I am not blind but I still look away.
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How has this culture crept into the church and society and stayed there? Why do we protect these male leaders who abuse the girls in the church and society ? Why is it okay for your " pastor/uncles,big daddies "to ask you to take off your clothes on a video call? Why is okay when he asks you to touch yourself for him? Why are you silent when he tells you this is how he treats his younger daughters? Why did you not scratch out his eyes when he tried to put your hand on his erection? Why did you remain in that society ? Why is the church and the society silent as women are abused and manipulated? Who is protecting these young girls as we fight to protect against these abusive men? Why do we love the perpetrators more than the victims? Are we not evil?