a bit of grief

Diana Vegas
Posted November 11, 2010 from Venezuela

It has been long since i've been here.

I missed this place and space.

My ego was crushed when i din't make it to VOF, the starting "luck" in my life has all but faded. And to think i always complained and felt the things i achieved didn't cost me enough effort. Know i'm starting to feel my efforts are not enough...

I wonder if even my writting is understandable....

I have 11 months until next years's. I hope i can prove not you but me, that I can be worth of this experience.

In lake'ch

Comments 11

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  • Olutosin
    Nov 11, 2010
    Nov 11, 2010

    I can really understand how you feel, but Dear, I want you to know that every applicant is qualified and you are qualified too. I once wrote here that the number should be increased to a thousand or so but we know that it is because of funds, we understand our languages, adn we understand you too. Thirty women is not enough as VOF but we are the Voices of our Future, all of us, do not leave your space, I quite understand human ego, please continue to speak and be the voice because you are the voice.

    11 months is here already, that is how we say it in my tribe.

    Plese let the voice continue to raise, loudly....yes. In frienship,

  • Emilia Zozobrado
    Nov 11, 2010
    Nov 11, 2010

    Hi DG! I know the feeling! I have failed so many times in my life, stumbled ever so often, and it is good to feel bad about it for sometime! If you failed this time, so did more than 500 women in 87 countries all over the world! Honestly, I was overjoyed when I made it. In fact, until now and even now, I find it hard to believe I'm one of the 30 from 22 countries! It's truly a miracle! But there are things that are meant to be...

    Of course, there is always a time for everything, dear sister. It is often said that the next chance is always the better one. Have faith! We are right here and we are with you all the way because we are one! You may not even have to wait for 11 months, sister! Rachael has announced a lot of opportunities are coming next year! Do you know Thomas Edison's famous answer when he was asked how he made it through 999 failures until he discovered the filament after 1000 trials? It's this: "AT LEAST I KNOW OF 999 THINGS THAT DO NOT WORK."

    You are unique and that uniqueness is your perfection, something you and you alone possess. You have the right and the obligation to share it with the world - your own style! The world is waiting for you to take your place and raise your flag... in your time... All the best ...

    Always, Emie Zozobrado

  • Darcey
    Nov 12, 2010
    Nov 12, 2010

    Hi, I am just reading your post, and I understand. I was not in VOF, but I know that sometimes I am a little sad when there is no response from just a simple little post that I put up. A lot of thought can go into the writing that people do on this site, and it can be discouraging when it seems that it is not noticed. I know myself, I do not respond often because I think- oh, I can write something later....but you have reminded me that to support each other on here, sometimes it means that I have to leave the pile of laundry alone and take the time to send a little note even. Silence can be deafening at times, and lonely. I enjoy reading your posts, and they are thoughtful. Each person on here is unique, so what you have to say can only come from you and your experience, so please continue to share.

    Blessings, Darcey

  • Diana Vegas
    Nov 12, 2010
    Nov 12, 2010

    Thank you Darcy, i felt my load shared!

  • laughterlove
    Nov 15, 2010
    Nov 15, 2010

    As I read this I thought, I should add this person to my friend list. I like her. lol. And then I realized it was you! Lucky me!

  • Darcey
    Nov 15, 2010
    Nov 15, 2010

    thanks! I needed that :)

  • Diana Vegas
    Nov 12, 2010
    Nov 12, 2010

    Thank you all for your comments, i doubted wether to tag this or even to post it, did it because is the truth of how i felt, i wanted to share more than just what makes me feel higher, but also what makes me feel human, with all our flaws...

    i feel i'm regaining faith and truth.

    Insha'Alla

  • Sarvina Kang
    Nov 12, 2010
    Nov 12, 2010

    Hi DG,

    I have just read your post and yeah I have also failed many times, I feel so sad and discouragement, disappointed and don't want to compete anything more. Thus after I joined in PulseWire, I have got encouragement from many people here even my English and experience are still low but I am happy to try more and more and never give up this wonderful platform. I have read many of your articles, they are so wonderful, meaningful. Everything in your posts are gorgeous! I have been moved of your words and I really wanna say Thank You so much, without your articles and the others I cannot improve myself. Your voice is always in my heart and mind !!! I enjoy reading your articles....

    Of course I'm one of 30 VOF correspondents, with this achievement I have never trusted my eyes or how I became a correspondent but one thing that makes me confident is Encouragement.

    With love, Sarvina

  • Leina
    Nov 14, 2010
    Nov 14, 2010

    Hello Sister, You are a strong and inspiring voice.Please don`t let this take away your zeal.We all feel bad during such moments,but remember brighter days are ahead of you.I believe in you and I know next eleven months and even before then we shall have cause to celebrate. So much love Leina

  • Daydri
    Nov 22, 2010
    Nov 22, 2010

    i can relate... though i had kind of decided that i was applying for VOF for the process (already having made connections and receiving responses were worth it) not the result, i still felt a bit blah : / but i think this also has to do with where i am or where i've been the past years: trying so many ways and not all of them lead somewhere...

    [sigh] but

    we are still here and we can still write with and for each other yes?

    {hug} d*

  • Diana Vegas
    Nov 22, 2010
    Nov 22, 2010

    sigh back jaja thanks Daydri for you comment! yes we are still here and certanly we should continue to write! I was thinking of starting an open blog and maybe rewrite some of my posts here, you can maybe checkhttp://thecovewithin.blogspot.com/ let's see how it goes, and if I keep this up