Hell in High school.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Posted February 26, 2018 from Uganda
There's no crime with being a plus size woman
How I survived "HELL in High School" being a Plus Sized/High school Student
Teeth gap
Teeth gap: We are all beautiful, teeth gap doesn't mean you are ugly (1/3)

I joined high school in 2006 and one I thing I remember was how impolite people were with me, how they segregated me because of my size, how they treated me because of how I looked like. I do not know who defines beauty in schools but it sure is a problem for so many young girls and boys out there.

I do not know if anyone else relates with this but this is my story.....

I was so happy joiningSt. Mark's College because it was a boarding school, far away from home; a place where I expected to be welcomed and treated with fairness as a new student. My school days were the most uncomfortable days I have ever had. The days I didn’t want to wake up because I was going to be judged or abused or mocked.

There were these girls who made my life uncomfortable so much that I waited for holidays (school break offs) like a kid waiting for Christmas clothes. People who abuse others being fat or short or referring to them by their body parts are the worst there is. Since childhood, I have been a “fat” person, it so turns out that some of my body parts were also “big” (If I can use this word). So these girls, in their small groups of the so called pretty ladies became living hell to me. They always abused me that I was fat and ugly and had big teeth, a teeth gap, a big belly, tiny legs and all sorts of verbal abuses you can think of. Having big boobs in school was one of the worst things you could have- this was my perception because this is what others based on to define my beauty. They would abuse me of having such huge boobs that this pain stayed with me for over three years of high school.

I do not know who defined beauty to them that they had to call everyone else ugly but some of my fellow students made life a living hell for me. My story is a painful one, it’s a story I write with tears flowing down, looking back at how they abused the features of my body and where I am now, I realize nothing has changed but rather my mindset about myself is what has changed my way of life. Emotional scars take long to heal; they stay with you for the most part of your life until you decide to forgive and forget.

When you are in school, physical features on your body are something most of us pay attention to as definition for our beauty but now I have come to appreciate and accept the true meaning of beauty, not just a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight but something more than that; your true self the inner you.

Luckily in 2010 when I joined senior five, I got to appreciate my beauty. I accepted the truth that I am a plus size teenager and that there is nothing I could do about that. I love myself even more now because I started with appreciating myself and being bold and strong to accept how God made me then spreading this to other women out there through compliments. I encourage women, girls, and boys including people with disabilities to love yourselves no matter what people’s opinions about you are. It all starts with you, it’s all in your mind, and your mind is your biggest obstacle to what you deserve, where you need to be and who you are.

Remember as one writer quoted, no one can hurt you without your own consent! Be You. Speak up, you never know who you influence and touch to make a positive change in their lives.

This post was submitted in response to You Are a Silence Breaker..

Comments 40

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jlanghus
Feb 26
Feb 26

Hi Dorothy. Thanks for sharing your story. Yes, boys and girls, and even men and women can be very cruel, especially from variations from perceived "norms." I'm so glad you decided to share your story, though, and even happier that you were able to overcome the pain and hurt that was inflicted from them, and rise above it. It's not an easy feat!

Dorothy Nabakooza
Feb 26
Feb 26

Thanks Jill, that's true men and women too can be cruel with their words,  If a man tries hitting on you and you refuse, he straight away abuses you saying; I don't even like you, you have big boobs.

This seemed painful years ago but I'm happy I got over such words. I do not care what people say of me.

jlanghus
Feb 27
Feb 27

You're welcome:) Quite often, unfortunately, yes:( Good for you!

Olutosin
Feb 26
Feb 26

I used to think that self love was selfishness until lately. Love yourself, no one can do that better than you. That is what I always tell myself.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us and I love the positive action you have decided to take along the line.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Feb 26
Feb 26

Thank you for your Kind words, Thanks to World pulse, i get to tell the story that has been bottled up all my life.

What you have been through is tough. But it made you stronger.

Because you experience what it feels to be hurt, you have become a woman who is now uplifting others. That is the most beautiful part of you. And your beauty continues to shine from within because you allow it to be.

So bloom, dear Dorothy! As you do, other flowers with bloom with you, too.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Mar 20
Mar 20

Thanks a lot dear, I feel empowered by your powerful words.
Lets keep shinning.
Queens empower each other. xoxo

rehema lyoka
Apr 14
Apr 14

I remember high school as well , lots of memories , i was in a different country , just finished my grade 7 and skipped 2 classes , so that meant i was the youngest in class and a foreigner . Now that is where the twist started . guess that is a story for another day , I agree with you dear , nobody can hurt you without your own concept

Dorothy Nabakooza
Apr 15
Apr 15

Thank You Rehema, I look forward to hearing that story someday.
I love this #worldpulse family, we are hear to support eachother. we are one.

Ndimofor Aretas
Apr 16
Apr 16

Dear Dorothy,
Truly, no one can hurt you without your own consent.
I am very happy that even though you went through a lot of hard times, you emerged with the mindset of a champion and have decided to help others who may be going through similar experiences.
Be happy with yourself and be yourself... But be your best self.

A healthy Self Image is one of the six steps on the ladder to the top (SEE YOU AT THE TOP by Zig Ziglar)
I struggled with self image for years too until I made up my mind just like you, to Love Me as I am...

I use to make the mistake of allowing people's opinion of me to be my reality... but not any more...

Best regards.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Apr 16
Apr 16

Well, thank you a lot for the kind words well written here, we are more than conquerors.
Oh BTW, that book; well thanks a lot for the quote, I cant wait to download and read it.

Love, Dorothy

Araba
Apr 17
Apr 17

Hello Dorothy, You have done the right thing by accepting yourself. You are now encouraging others to do same. You are brave and daring. Keep it up! Continue to show others that we can be sexy and beautiful in any shape and size!

Dorothy Nabakooza
Sep 14
Sep 14

this means a lot to me, thank you so much

Juliet Acom
Apr 23
Apr 23

Hi Dorothy,

Thank you for breaking the silence. You are a voice for many - keep doing the great work.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Sep 14
Sep 14

thank you my dear.

Valéria Barbosa
Apr 25
Apr 25

Thank you for sharing your story. I feel for everything that happened in childhood and adolescence, sometimes children and young people are very cruel, but I believe that they learn not to respect the diversity in their homes, and in the future will suffer much with these mental patterns they carry.
I'm glad you discovered that you're beautiful in your own way, that's very important.
Just as it is important to have a suitable environment for us, for example the buses in my country have a small space between the seats and my leg is long, hence I suffer throughout the trip because companies think that all people have the same height and width, because the seats are also small. We are learning to deal with these issues. This is my leg, thank God for being strong! I'm going with these legs to walk wherever I want. Just as you dear, the world will be small for such a sensitive and dear person. Hugs.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Sep 14
Sep 14

You are awesome, thank you so much.

Carla Walter
May 01
May 01

Hello Dorothy :)
I really applaud you for speaking up. Putting words on this is not an easy thing to do. I so often don't tell the stories, don't open up about what truly happened for me, how it made me feel because it feels like a very embarrassing, shameful and hurtful thing to admit, to own and to speak about. I too, take the challenge and the choice of being powerfull and brave and not let it get to me anymore. I have come a long way but geez it really is an everyday challenge and it gets so exhausting sometimes.

You are a strong woman and I thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. You are right, words have impact and we never know who we may help and empower to do the same.
Lots of love, Carla

Dorothy Nabakooza
Sep 14
Sep 14

It wasn't easy, I am Grateful for your replies. they mean the world to me

soul on fire
May 20
May 20

Hi Dorothy
Heart touching story
Once I had to face those mean girls and they also made fun of my lips, my hair and even my parents. Honestly I couldn't fight them but they kinda got removed from my life.
But then a year later I realized the fact that they are gonna make fun of me anyway, one way or another so now I am glad that they are out of my life for good.
STAY AWESOME.

Dorothy Nabakooza
May 20
May 20

Thanks Dear,
You are beautiful in your own way, no one can ever take that away from you.
#bestrong #befearless

joyce nelly
Jun 08
Jun 08

Hello sister I really felt touched reading your story because I felt same while back in secondary school also with your friends defining you as ugly making look down on your self but thank God we are finally free from all that stuff now and we have left the bagages behind us.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Sep 14
Sep 14

sometimes I do cry again and break down when telling my story but all in all i remember the most inspiring and amazing people who look up to me. I gain my strength from numbers.

AGNES TUMASANG
Jun 19
Jun 19

Than you sister

Stephanie Mah
Jul 06
Jul 06

Hi my dear sis. Some people are always Waiting for the list mistake to abuse and laugh. Thank God you overcome and thanks for sharing.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Jul 13
Jul 13

thanks Steph

Prof. Prabha Desai
Jul 22
Jul 22

Dear Dorothy,
you are beautiful.

Prabha Desai.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Aug 16
Aug 16

thank you so much

Tamarack Verrall
Jul 28
Jul 28

Dear Dorothy,

It is powerful to read your description of the cruelty you experienced in school, and how despite the attacks you came into your own personal power, perspective and trust in your own beauty. "I do not know who defined beauty to them that they had to call everyone else ugly". Exactly. So many women are attacked for how we look, based on some superficial notion of what supposedly is beauty. The pain you went through is so horrible. That you trusted that none of the superficial judgements mattered is a celebration. I looked back on some of your work. You are an inspiration!

In sisterhood,
Tam

Dorothy Nabakooza
Aug 16
Aug 16

thank you so much Tam

Reeti K.C.
Jul 29
Jul 29

Dear Dorothy,

Your story is very similar to mine so I could relate to every word you have written. I am 'fat' and also have a gap in my teeth. I also used to feel like you did but I'm so glad you found your strength to love yourself. I have as well. The stereotypes of 'beauty' created and the people who follow it like a norm to hurt other people is just plain stupid. I have been a victim of it and I'm so happy to be able to read that you found your happiness.

Dorothy Nabakooza
Aug 16
Aug 16

I can relate on every single level. Thanks for being strong too

Colleen Abdoulah
Aug 02
Aug 02

Dorothy, I have always said that a person that is hurtful toward others must be very unhappy inside themselves. When we love who we are we get no pleasure in putting down others. Those bullies and negative people are people who need prayers for their broken spirit. I am thrilled you are not letting them break you - you are strong and beautiful and all you were intended to be. Thank you for helping and serving others in need. Continue to share your strength and love. Your sister, Colleen

Dorothy Nabakooza
Aug 16
Aug 16

this is true on every level, thank you so much

Ambassador4Christ
Sep 13
Sep 13

Hi Dorothy, it's a pleasure to read your story that is all too common today. Honey in my country women of all races spend billions of dollars to have breast implants. Many women choose to overlook the health risk that come with these surgeries to look good. And your lips and teeth are seen in some very sexy upscale magazines. Rich business women magazines are on newsstands everywhere with women looking like you girl!!
Don't let these haters cause you to hold your head down in shame for this beautiful gift God gave you naturally! Here's what you do my little beautiful sister...First dry those pretty eyes and don't waste another day playing into the hands of the demon women, pray to God for strength and wisdom to run this race of life, get a good education, surround yourself with intelligent fun loving friend who love and appreciate you (they are out there). Learn and practice daily how to be a woman of grace, intelligence and dignity. There are great professors and other great who will see your efforts and do all they can to mentor you with such delight.
You are a gift to the world but you must find your place in society through a different lens and it is not through the lens of others.
I'm almost 70 years old and you'd never know it. I been where you are but with the help of God I got through it and you will too. My life has been rough but today it is wonderful! I needed all of those experience in life to now be able to help you. I will be praying for you that God grant you peace and the confidence you need to be am amazing woman with great success. You got my support girl!

Dorothy Nabakooza
Sep 14
Sep 14

Wow, this means alot to me, I am forever grateful. Thank you for the kind words and prayers.

Ambassador4Christ
Sep 14
Sep 14

You are so welcome my pretty little sister. Now go and enjoy this beautiful day in peace.

Vishakha Shirke
Oct 14
Oct 14

Hi Dorothy,
I loved that you soon realized what you wanted to do and what you can do. It's better for our own future so be confident and fearless.
Take care.
Vishakha

kitty
Nov 06
Nov 06

Dear Dorothy,
Thank you for sharing your story, it has really inspired me. I have always felt 'big', even though it was mostly in my head. Seeing how you appreciate your beauty has truly made me love myself more. Ashley Graham,a plus-sized model, is one of my idols, and you remind me of her in the way you don't let your weight or others define you or your image of yourself. Keep being an inspiration, and I hope to see more of you in the future.
Sending love,
Kitty

Muchoh Florence
Nov 09
Nov 09

Hy Dorothy, thanks for sharing your story with us.