One thing I am sure about in physical domestic violent abusers: 1) They like to maintain control 2) When you take a stand, and say no more, they back down 3) They will change their tactics of abuse from physical to verbal 4) You must change your inner dialogue to yourself
I remember the last beating I received from my abusive father at the age of 16. I'd ask my mother for money, so that I could eat at a track meet after school that I was involved in . I specifically requested she not tell my father or ask him, for fear that he would become abusive. She did so anyway, against my wishes. He beat me with is fist, knocked me over a table causing me to get a knot on my leg, and cornered me into a corner, so I had no way out of his control. Then he made me leave the house for school without a rain coat or umbrella on a flooding rainy day. During my transit to my destination, I spoke to myself and God. I told him that "I know you are suppose to honor your mother and father so that the days on earth are long, but I have done nothing wrong to deserve such treatment and I will no longer be a victim to my fathers sickness". So I promised God and myself that the next time he attacked, I would fight back. The next time came, I fought back and he never hit me again. He only continued to verbally abuse me. But I knew it was because he still wanted to remind me of his power to harm me, if he chose to. I was reminded of this story while reading about of our survivor sisters who was locked up for over 20 years by her father who gave her 7 children. One of the children died while in captivity because her father refused to let them out. She finally stood up against him in her recorded interview. The father saw it and finally confessed to have done everything she accused him of. The reporter were wondering why he did such. I reflected back onto my situation and knew it was because she stood up to him. The man was in his 70's and she is now in her 40's, but in her mind, she is still a child. When you see how frail the man looks you know that to her he was still a giant. So, I say to my sisters who are allowing others to have power and control over you. FIGHT BACK!!!! BREAK THE SILENCE THAT KEEPS YOU IMPRISONED WITHIN!