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I read your rough draft, and here's what I think of it...

The first sentence brought me in. This whole paper is very good, it covered the whole issue of U.V. Rays; (that I now want to learn more about), and provided a clear problem and solution. I like how you cover straight off what people would, and do, assume about living black people in a sunny country, that their genetics and growing up in such a terrain would automatically provide protection against the sun.

You move very easily into what happens, that with global warming, that extra protection from the sun is needed, and that action must be taken.

I like your introduction for Grace Edube Nabukeera, and would like to hear a little more about her and what she does.

All in all, I would love to see the final draft.

I wanted to tell more about Grace, but I ran out of words due to the limitations the 2,500 words. Hence, I cut that part to give more information, I figured we already hear enough about powerful brilliant women activist, but little information flows about this area. If you'd like to make some specific suggestions about the cuts, I will be happy to have them.