I love you dad ! "So do I"

It’s a story in which I am a protagonist. My own father was suffering from a fatal disease cancer, chances of survival were less. Often he used to cry out in silence sometimes out of pain sometimes just asking God as to why was he living at all now when everything was unbearable even going to another town for treatment. My father retired as a Production Manager in a private company and had encouraged me and my brother and sister, his three children to go whichever way we wanted to with all his heart.

One day when my mother was crying, he told her and all of us, that he is feeling he won’t be here for long, so preparations ought to be made accordingly. He joked about himself, “ I am a braveheart, I won’t die of a mosquito bite , God knows this and so he has given cancer for me to fight with” All listened but none laughed. He remained quiet for the rest of the time until one day when he began losing his voice. Cancer was through in his lungs, doctors admitted. Then suddenly his voice was gone. Forever now but he could make actions beat the almirah near him and make his voice heard. By the time I completed my probation period in Dell, MNC where I worked, he was weak but still supporting all of us. He told us the story of a man , the optimist ,” The optimist fell twelve stories and each window bar he yelled to his friends who were frightened below, well I am alright so far.”

Diwali came and somehow we all had to leave but dad was at home watching preparations, then when we all came back we fired some crackers and had good meal, he said this was his last Diwali festival with all of us.

Months passed and the day came when dad had to go, I could barely control my tears, my mother was deeply wounded at heart but she kept doing household work, Then my brother came rushing into my room and said dad had gone forever. I too rushed to dad’s room to find his body on the bed, eyes gazing skywards and with no kind words to say to us. If there were any totems or pujas through which we could connect to the departed spirit, we would have done them by now.

But this was not all, soon we heard “good news” from my sister’s house, she was pregnant. Time passed and a little baby boy was born to her, we call him Eicher, his grandpapa would have been so happy to see him! What a mixed blend of life and death comes and goes in our lives. I still remember my father was a self made man and made me and other two siblings whatever we are today. Doing worthwhile work and still want to work more. Social cause is also our intention. As his eldest daughter I want to dedicate few words in his memory,

“Soaked with emotions,

those bitter notions,

Notions of pain

Endless

Moments that make you reckless

Notions of sadness and blue

That are simply pointless

The sky pales down to whiteness

When you lose someone

Out there never to come home again

A colorful myna chirps

As rain cometh

So do you!

And you say from somewhere papa

As rain comes

So do I ...so do I... so do I !!!