Mother's Health is the family's health and harmony as investment for the Future Family Welfare
May 28, 2019
Story
Mother's Health is family's health and harmony as the investment for the Future Family Welfare
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Mother is the magic word!
No one have no mother; except Adam, the first man created by God! When we were kid; mother is mostly related to love, food, protection and peace! We knew mother would please us; and most of the time mother was taking care of the children; not the father!
However, in the family and real life; most of men in the house didn't realize the most important role of the mother to the family. Most men demanded wife's dedication to take care of family (and the house), including their food need and health due to they mostly believe this is obligated to women not the men, who are obligated to earn money for living. The strong patriarchy culture has created men as number one in the family life, even within public arena. Apparently they have less sensitivity to the specific women's need, including the mother's health.
One member of Gender Harmony (GH) group had consulted about her situation mostly related to health. The husband was coughing for certain period; she had to take care of him, to make his meals before and after work; made sure the disease was not contaminated to their only daughter; while she was also teaching at school. She had to save money for their daughter's future university cost; she had to keep working and apparently forgot to protect herself from the disease. The husband had also no sensitivity to remind her about the need to take care of her health; while she's willing to sacrifice for the family. She didn't go to check up her health to the medical doctor and tried to cure herself from any medicine available in the market. She's afraid to use money other than necessary for maintaining the family financial.
They never realized that the mother's health is the future family's health and it would give impact to the future family welfare accordingly.
The family had to pay even more money to cure the wife's disease; due it was already in severe condition and chronic status. She had to take a rest and being absent from the job as well as couldn't take care of the family for some period. Apparently, neglecting the women's rights to health gives some impact to the family's life!
The echo of emancipation and women's empowerment has been started in the world about twenty years ago; however somehow it gave only slight changes to gender equality and equity. In developing countries, even within the advanced countries, women seems suffering alone to their needs during pregnancy, delivery and breast feeding. If we say, in fact it is started even when all women got their menstruation, the monthly period that made them possible to get any child delivered from their body. Without such of the reproductive cycle, no matter their status are; no woman can have the ovulation, gestation and having baby in their body as expected for the family generation and the nations building. When they got sick, they seem being neglected to the rights to health!
It happened either due to the woman doesn’t know their rights or due to she's patriarchy culture believer to put herself as second priority after the husband; even third priority after the children; or due to the husband doesn't know to create harmonious living for the family. In certain rural environment, the wife even has down priority after the mother-father in law who stay together in the big family. Patriarchy culture has strangled people's mindset (men and women) that women are the men's followers. Nawal el Saadawi (2000) mentioned most 'good song' tribute to the mother when they performed their domestic work in family. The modern era has created crisis mindset of men regarding to the women's roles, position and relation to men. Many biased religions and cultural practices have pushed women into the victims of patriarchy culture; while actually God created men and women as partners. In Islam, heaven is under mother's feet. One of GH members asked what is the meaning? Regardless to religion rules and beliefs; it is spreading the message that women have certain important status that God appreciated! Most men agreed to this. We have to respect mothers, women as following to God's command! We need re-orientation of culture as well as human rights knowledge and its implementation accordingly.
GH informs all women that the first thing you have to earn is 'respect' to the human rights, including your rights to health! If you couldn't respect your rights than who could give the respect to you..?! Afterwards, GH also reminds all men that the women's empowerment is family advancement towards future investment. No family could get health; if the mother has sickness! Particularly when the rights to health is being neglected; worse situation may come to the family sooner or later.
In the survey of Gender and Tuberculoses (TB) conducted during 2012; the GH team found a mother got TB but she didn't know it. She was actually come to clinic to examine her children's health; 3 years old and 5 years old. Based on the medical history; her husband had been sick in TB for some period and she became the medicine watcher for the husband. She protected her children to stay in distance from the father, however she's automatically closer to the husband for giving medicine, food etc., not to mention she had to take care of the house cleaning, cooking and so on. The husband cured after one year; she'd been taking cough medicine for two years (!); and she came to clinic just because the children got coughing more than two weeks that made the husband instructed her to take the children being examined by the medical doctor. TB treatment is provided for free by the government; what they need to is follow the curative procedure within the fixed period.After all, we found ratio women to men having TB in Bogor, West Java was higher than men; while actually in the past TB was known mostly as 'men disease' which mostly attacked to poor families.
Building harmony in family has to start with 'respect' to each other rights; including women's rights! The girl’s health status now is the future women's health; more over the mother's health now is the future family health and harmony towards family welfare. It is an investment for family advancement and happiness!
Among others, GH found that the respect could be implemented only if the subjects have effective communication for the family unity. If the lady teacher in the story above performed better GH, she might talk to the husband that she also need a vitamin and or medicine to her health protection; it’s her rights to health! She could save more money only if she is healthy, not when she is sick! If also the woman with two kids understood her rights to health; she might not protect only her kids from the husband disease contamination; she must have strong will to have her health being protected as well. Prevention is always better than cure. Many antenatal care performed by spouses during pregnancy have preventing difficulties in delivery such as: bleeding, late to get help, low birth born babies and so on; due to the medical doctor may detect those within the examination by the support of the partners who reminding each other for the ultimate goals of family health and success! They may shift the priority to the necessary one, which is mother's health for the sake of the mother and the future kid. Never violate the rights to health; or you have to pay them more later on!
Having hand in hand as harmony family has been proved increased health, peace and happiness!The harmony family is learning from day to day to family coping mechanism over changes in the family life; that made them never go back to 'square zero' of gender partnership; which eventually lead them into gender transformation to achieve gender equality and equity!
No Rights - No Harmony;
No Harmony - No Peace;
No Peace - No Happiness!
Let's create harmonious living to get better status of mother's health! It is appreciated by God and being paid to us accordingly by having a better family health and welfare!
God bless...
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