Tough Love often Leads to Greatness

Difficult road often leads to beautiful destination. 

I was born second amongst 7 children and growing up in a large family sometimes brings about siblings rivalry,  parental negligence and depression which could lead to suicide mostly for the girl child. 

The challenges I faced in my growing up days as a girl child, the second child, first daughter amidst 5 boys and one other girl, whom I detested throughout my childhood. The difficult situation and timely intervention of good mentorship made me a strong woman I am today.

It was a huge struggle getting mama's love and attention. I became so lonely, frustrated and sad and my escape route was to books.  I became a one girl squard,  highly emotional and depressed. I took out my anger on every one around and hated my mum with a passion that I became problematic and almost committed suicide.

All this affected my interactions in school, though I was brilliant but socially zero,  I refused to mingle or socialize for the hatred I have for a large group or crowd of people. My teachers never seek to know me nor my background to understand my plight but castigated and punised my seldom outburst and fights, this I was thereby tagged stubborn, a snob and a bully. (the world mostly criticize what seems a mystery).

As time went by, I began to seek happiness on my own,  everybody noticed my withdrawal symptoms, ( except when daddy came home early and call me to ask about my day and stuffs, being my daddy's girl),  I always looked forward to his early return from workplace which were seldom.  It seemed as if he saw through my sadness and tried his best to help whenever time permitted him.  Though it was not easy for him being the sole provider with my mum as a full housewife who was too overwhelmed with the household chores and care for seven children, who was neither enlightened nor educated to give room for one-on-one with her children.

All this made me loate marriage and it's responsibility that accounted for my late venture into marriage.  I detested having a partner or giving birth based on my childhood perception and experiences in a large family.

I think social workers and women NGOs should venture more into mentoring,  educating mothers and girl child on how to navigate through neglect and depression.

Fortunately for me, I found help on time during high school days,  women of value who cared about young women and adolescent girls noticed my antisocial behaviour and came to my rescue. This made me perform excellently well throughout my educational pursuit and I met wonderful women and families who through their tough love change my perspective of marriage and family.

Today,  I'm with my partner, I'm  trying to give it my best, be there for my loved ones,  even young girls around me find love and happiness through my coaching, mentoring and guidance to believe in themselves and aspire to be the woman of their dream. 

I have become who I did not have to help during my childhood days to many girls and ladies in my community. I fill the gap of a friend and mentor to girls out of homes,  the troubled teenage girls and women that need shoulders to lean on.  Have had to house and cared for  suicidal and highly depressed girls and ladies in my community from my university days till now. 

I hope to open a woman and girls home soon going by the rate of homeless girls and women living in poverty in our communities, who hardly have hope of getting mentorship,  love even roof over their heads,  they litter roadside and swampy neighborhood,  some had to settle into shanty structures facing life threatening situations just for survival.

I know that with hardwork, focused and deliberate effort, coupled with my passion for the girl child and women enlightenment and empowerment programs, more women and girl child will be rescued from untimely death, several centre for neglected women and girl child will be opened across Nigeria in no distant future. 

The world will be a better place if only we touch life's in our little Corner. 

Esther from Nigeria