I lost A Dear Friend in The Crisis

Evelyn Fonkem
Posted October 10, 2018 from Cameroon

It was exactly 2:32 p.m 15th July 2018,my colleagues and I were in the office finalizing a task that was given to us by our Coordinator, when my phone rang.I rushed to answer the call and it was Boris, Boris was a friend.We lived in the same neighborhood during our university .He was dark and his great body build made him stand out wherever he goes.His teeth were as white as snow and his well shaped gap-tooth made him to be nicked name "Mr Clean ".Despite all these feautures, onlike other young men, he was gentLe,friendly and has intergrity.

I picked the call and as usual, I blamed him for haven't checked on me for some time.He apologised and said the reason why he is calling is because he want's to find out about a professional school I attended some years ago in Yaounde.He said his town Muyuka like other Anglophone parts of the country is plagued with insecurity.He said he want's to relocate to Yaounde with his 2 children,enroll in the school and  start a new life.I encouraged him to move and the call ended with both of us telling each other to stay safe.

After 3 weeks, I came back from work and after preparing dinner, I decided to log on to Facebook.Behold as I was going through some posts,I saw a picture of Boris with the caption "Rest in Peace Bro".I screamed for a while and threw my phone on the ground.I couldn't believe what I had just saw.After some few minutes, I picked my phone to confirm the news.I called Stella his junior sister who answered the call in a soft vioce"Evelyn, Mr Clean was shot.We lost him".I stopped the call and wailed uncontrollably like a baby.I couldn't sleep the whole night.I prayed for the crisis to come to an end .

As children, up to adulthood,we grew up in a peaceful surrounding.We have watched killings in other countries over the television and had pity for them but today, we live with it.The Anglophone Crisis that started in 2016 have led to the death of many persons,many people have become refugees and some are internally displaced.There is an increased rate of Maternal Mortality as women are giving birth under precarious conditions,gender roles have been switched as women are now digging Graves to bury their love ones,something that was unheard of.Some women living in bushes are using leaves during their period because they don't have acess to sanitary pads.Increased rate of teenage pregnancies among adolescent.The future seems bleak and hopeless We sleep with out eyes open because of fear of the unkown.What amaze me the most is like the Global Community has given a deaf ear to our cry.

I applaud the efforts of women in the 2 Anglophone regions who have organized public campaigns calling for Peace and Security but they played no direct role in the negotiation.

Women have a role to play in Peace building and security but we are docile because we lack the knowledge,skills and resources to be adequately represented in discussions about security.I strongly recommend that women and girls should  be empowered through Capacity Building workshops on leadership,Peace and Security and if they are given the resources, more women will be represented in discussions about security in their community and they will build resilient communities.At an early stage, we should teach our daughters to have confidence and self-esteem.While we continue leaning on God, we continue to pray for Justice,Peace, Security in our country.

This post was submitted in response to The Future of Security Is Women .

Comments 18

Log in or register to post comments
Maya Iwata
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018

I am so sorry to hear about your loss! It also breaks my heart to hear about the recent conflict in your country. Thank you for sharing your story. I heartily agree with you that women have an important role to play in peace building and security. Your input on the survey will be very helpful if you have not already given feedback.

Evelyn Fonkem
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018

Thanks Maya for your kind words of encouragement.I have taken the survey.Thanks

Maya Iwata
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and your vision. Your voice is an important one.

Ngwa Damaris
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018

Our country is gradually getting into a civil war:( Its sad!!

Evelyn Fonkem
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018

It's so sad my Dear sister Damaris

Obisakin Busayo
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018

I am so sorry about your loss my sister! it is like the situation in the anglophone side of Cameroon is getting out of hand. Why are they shooting people anyhow? Shooting somebody that is not armed. It is so sad to hear all these. I just pray that there will intervention quickly before this degenerated to a big civil war. May the soul of the departed rest in peace and may the Lord keep you and others in the area safe.
Love
Busayo

Evelyn Fonkem
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018

Thanks Obisakin for your kind words

khayimoti
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018

This is the situation we find ourselves in. Like i say we are like sitting on a keg of gun powder, but not with standing we will make sure the red ash doesn't come close to it. I pray God vindicates us from this, and I'm sorry for your loss. Like we say, if it has not touched you, you wouldn't know. Just by being here we all feel the pain when one of us has a slow pulse. May God grant you inner peace. Please keep the faith so your pulse can stay on and keep you going. Amen.

Evelyn Fonkem
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018

Khayimoti you are right we just need to continue our prayers.It's a sad situation.

Adanna
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 11, 2018

Dear Evelyn,

I am so sorry about your loss.

Please be safe.

Love,
Adanna

Evelyn Fonkem
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018

Thanks Adanna

jlanghus
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 11, 2018

Hi Evelyn,

I'm so sorry about your loss:-(

Evelyn Fonkem
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018

Thanks Jlanghus

jlanghus
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018

You're welcome, dear!

Jacqueline Namutaawe
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018

Dear friend so sorry about the loss and thanks for sharing the story it is a move in seeking inner peace and coming to terms with what happened.

Evelyn Fonkem
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018

Thank you Jacqueline

Beth Lacey
Oct 18, 2018
Oct 18, 2018

Yes, women must be part of the movement for Peace & Security and, as you say, they need the resources to understand how powerful their/our voices can be.
Beth

Marietta
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 13, 2018

EXCITING