Faith Mutuma
Posted February 25, 2009 from Kenya

In the 21st century and yes domestic violence still exist.Men still beat up their wives and spouses to the extent of killing them and their siblings in many communities. It is shocking to hear that in some communities wives are beaten up or chased away from their matrimonial homes for not bearing male children.These are norms and cultures that were practiced in the ancient times but not in this era.

This is a story of a 25 year old lady who has gone via some of these things. An independent lady working and living alone in her apartment. She has been in a relationship or the last 2years but the guy provides nothing at all despite forcefully moving into the lady's house. He will contribute nothing for their well being.The lady has to do the shopping, settle down the rent and bills and put food on the table.

She perseveres all this but the boyfriend wants to take even more control of her independence. She is forbidden from ever talking to any man even her neighbors and going out to party with her friends. She slowly but surely cuts communication with all the friends of the opposite sex who were her pillar of strength long before she got her job or even met the boyfriend.

At one time they have an argument that result to her been assaulted mercilessly after he took her mobile phone and went through her contacts to find contacts of men whom he believed flirted with her. The very same close people she was restricted from talking to. She had to volume up her TV and music for the neighbors not to hear the commotion in the house for fear of victimization.

There were no messages that would support that their was a relationship going on between her and the accused people. He just wanted her to confess there was something going on between her and the accused for his satisfaction. Mind you, the guy does not use any hard stuff. She was beaten for close to 3hrs and could not go to work for the next 3days from pains. At one time he heated up the water heater and the coil was red hot. She was forced to strip nude and he wanted to penetrate the hot coil in her virginal for her to reveal the truth on the accusations. But she remained firm with her answers luckily the guy did not hurt her any more as he confirmed she was speaking the truth and that later told her he was only scaring her to get the truth.

Things were ironed out between the two and he assured her he would never lay a finger on her again. But the guy after a few months got another way of renkidling the fire. He would come to the lady's house without telling her he is coming at weird hrs as late as 3am and demand for food. If there is no food he would come with milk and bread and insist on them being prepared for him at that time and the lady must not sleep until he is done with his feeding. In the morning he would restrain her from going to work without caring if she is fired for lateness or the repercussions that may arise.

One day she could not handle this any more and she decided to tell him off that they need to break up because she could not handle all the humiliations she was going through in her own house, yet they were not married or engaged neither was he ever providing for her with anything other than pain. This was not the first time they were breaking up but this time she was decided after something terrible happened to her.

At times he would lock her out of her own house for hours without caring for an explanation as to why she has been late and clarify to her she well knows that was her house and not his and that did not bother him at all. He would even change padlocks to make her suffer and to know what time she got to the house.

She has never shared this story with her family. Only her close friends and thanks to World Pulse slogan, NO one speaks for me. I speak for myself her story can be shared to the whole world as she is not the only one in such predicament.

In Friendship, Faith.

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  • Faith Mutuma
    Dec 06, 2012
    Dec 06, 2012

    Domestic violence is vastly becoming chronic in Kenya today. At least in a week more than five cases through media channels are reported on domestic violence and murder among couples.

    Shockingly, it has a reached a point where the victims are chopped off body parts by the partners and children forced to drink the blood or along the way are not spared either as they too are killed in the bizarre incidents before the victims takes up their own lives too.

    Urgent measures need to be placed because at this rate the society will die and marriage and companionship will be a thing of the past.