Mama Qudus :Silent Till Death

Mama Qudus was a caring and loving mother to her children and a doting wife to her not so caring ,brutal and abusive husband. He would come home drunk and beat her up while ravaging her body in the name of sex. She would narrate her ordeal to my aunty the next morning in tears and resignation if fulfilling her duties to her husband and staying married for the sake of her children.

I would watch on in horror as my teenage mind then could only think of the injustice of it all and be more alarmed as my aunt would pray with her and send her back to the lion's den. I would fume and ask why we can't all go and beat some sense into the man. In laughter my aunt would reply and say

' my dear' it is the cross mama Qudus must carry do you want her to be sent back to her father's house?

Years later we received the news that her husband died mysteriously I was secretly happy that mama Qudus night mare were over not knowing it had just begun.

For few months after her husband's death she was seriously ill and was receiving self medication at home and drinking roots and herbs . Until my family came to the rescue and she was later rushed to the hospital where it was discovered that she had contacted HIV AIDS through her husband . Few days after that she died leaving behind three boys.

The husband's family came packed the deceased properties and claimed rights to the children.

Much later with more education,awareness and information I discovered that there are many mama Qudus around me who are suffering in silence in marriage and relationships.

Women,ladies and girls society,culture and tradition have wired to suffer in abusive relationships and bear their pain in silence even in the face of death.

Even in this modern age of information HIV Positive People are not so positive of receiving the much needed support in my community much more so women are the most abandoned for they have no one to turn to for help for fear of being neglected and dissociated from. They would rather die in shame and silence than to be rejected in a community they've known all their lives.

To these people/women on this world AIDS day I speak for, you are not alone.For though death and shame have silenced you. You have received a voice today and always so you can receive help to hope for a brighter and better tomorrow.