Rambles from an explusion

These are just reoccurring ramblings from my head that I really needed to get down and express somewhere............ (so take this all with a grain of salt or with a 500 pound boulder, either way is fine by meeee!!)

There are a lot of reasons or explanations as to who we are. We are a product of our society first and foremost. There are a lot of reasons I am the way I am. These labels that we let define us in so many ways shape us from the moment we are born. I was born a girl. A girl who is slowly but surely growing and blossoming into the woman that I have and will become. This label or assignment of gender that was given to me at birth has defined me in ways that I am still trying to deconstruct even still today. I am not ashamed of my femininity nor will I ever be, and I embrace this powerful surge of definition every second of the day, but I still wonder why? but I digress...

As I walk through the halls of my university I realize that I am a student. I am here to supposedly learn and explore the realms of my mind, but in some ways I feel limited here. I must say that I am very thankful for my education, my friends, and my mentors, but I believe that the true essence of learning is to discover. I simply cannot wait for the day when I feel like I can truly be set free of this dry organizational mindset. Yes, I learn new things everyday, I discuss, ponder, and expand these frames that have been constructed by my society, but I am still recycling these thoughts never to produce an entirely fresh new rhythm within my mind. There are times that I just want to drop everything and float away, but I remain here, untouched by my dreams, and unmoved by my reality. I tell myself: You are just paying your societal dues, but in the long scheme of things... You are not living the life you love..... But isn't this where it all begins? As I was talking to a close friend about why I feel the necessity to actually break free of this monotonous scholarly tone he says "Well the first step is to disagree with your professors." and I completely agree. You see, I feel as if with each generation what is considered to be of utmost importance usually seems to fade over time. Generational differences will occur with each step humanity takes into the future. Not to discredit my professors in any sort of way, but I will admit that a general bias that protrudes from their mouths. (but doesn't it protrude from all of our mouths??) One thing that I know for certain is, we cannot learn how to live our lives simply from any text book, or through any mentor or guru. And I must remember to keep that in mind. I feel as if we have taken all these thoughts from others, manipulating them through our own lenses, then recycling them out into this world only to call it our own. We are so incredibly diverse that we must realize that there is no right way, and I must get out there in this messy, ripe, passionate world and instead of dipping in my toes, I'll dive right in and truly..... discover.

Why is it that we have separated ourselves in such a manner? Why is it that we have successfully managed to divide ourselves in such a way that there will always be a right and wrong, rich and poor, happy and unhappy, the liked and disliked, the have's and have not's? Going back to the whole student thing, how can we discover, process, and soak in this fresh juicy creative thought in a classroom with an assigned professor dominating the educational hierarchy over the individual student? With these assigned roles and labels placed on any individual, societal pressures cause us to conform, mold, mutate, and divert from the oneness that we all possess...

There are so many ideas that have been constructed by humankind that restrict and oppress us in ways that we are blind to. One major form is money. You may agree to disagree with me here on this, but we simply cannot continue to deny the fact that money is the most oppressive form of ideals imposed on humankind. We in the "free" world (((((this word or concept of "freedom" must be in quotation, that is an entirely separate argument..)))) must wake everyday so that we can go to a mindless job that we've restricted our creative ability in because machines have taken the jobs of our neighbors and colleagues, and we are next. We are in this mindless paper chase because this capitalistic society rules and regulates every aspect of our lives. We are no longer living to work, we are working to live. We are the only species on the planet that is successfully destroying our planet at an alarming rate, and yet we continue to perpetuate these ideals, why?? How can we take a step back and realize what is actually happening to our brothers and sisters in this family called humanity? How can we reunite this world as a whole instead of constructing barriers that divide our spirits further but conquer our souls even more?

Beauty is everywhere, all we have to do is look.
.... With a gargantuan sigh of alleviation and a thank you for reading..