Are We Really Our Own Worst Enemies?

“In the face of uncertainty, believe in these two things – that you are stronger than you think and you are not alone.” – Maya Angelou.

If you are anything like me, you probably do not like to hear that women are their own worst enemies. In fact if someone says that to me, they had better be prepared for an hour long “lecture” on how men are determined to divide and conquer. However, at the end of the day as I lie in my bed at night, I often wonder why women seem to be their own worst enemies.

I’m sure you have met women who wouldn’t want to have a female boss. In fact, research shows that two thirds of all women prefer a male boss to a female one. Where did this come from? Did some “evil” women sit down one day and decide that they didn’t want women to be leaders? The unfortunate truth is that many women in management/leadership are quite unpleasant to deal with.

In my opinion, the reason why women in management are sometimes hostile is either because they are not comfortable in their own skin or because the rest of us do not believe in them. Hear me out. When you aren’t comfortable in your own skin, it is easy to be hostile especially to people whom you feel are looking down upon you. I would like to see a world where women are comfortable with whom they are so that they aren’t constantly trying to be more like men.

On the other hand, we can’t always blame the women in leadership. It is easy to second guess yourself when everyone else around you doesn’t think you can do it. In fact, everyone, including those who won’t admit it, expect women leaders to mess up sooner or later. However, so as to believe in another woman’s ability, they have to believe in their own ability. When you believe that you can be a CEO and a pretty good one for that matter, it will be easy to root for female CEOs.

This brings me to my vision. I would like to see myself and all the other women in my community believing in our abilities so much that we are not tempted to second guess other women’s abilities. Just like the Maya Angelou quote says, I want women to know that they are stronger than they think they are and that they are not alone. By doing this, all the women at the top will begin to feel that they are not alone and therefore they can relax and concentrate on being good managers or leaders. As soon as we begin to believe in ourselves a lot more, more female presidents and CEOs will begin to pop up everywhere. Even those women who have been afraid to seek leadership positions because they are afraid of being second guessed every step of the way, will be more willing to step up.

I want to be a Voices of Our Future Correspondent because I believe it will help be to learn how to initiate and seek external resources, community and connection so as to achieve my vision. Although, I have a vision, I’m still not sure how I’m going to implement it. I believe the Voices of Our Future Training program will equip me with the tools I need so as to make my vision come true.